Amsterdamned

Like I say in my comments on "De Lift", this is particularly funny for Dutch-aholics. A lot of the scenes are references to Dutch famous people, or will later become references to those.

The Bond-like chase through the canals of "Amsterdam", is one of the most famous scenes, and is up to Hollywood standard. Huub Stapel is again the best choice for the leading character "Eric Visser", charming, tenacious, and this time single. The comic relieves are numerous in this movie, but the best to me are the scenes where Stapel's daughter Anneke and her friend Willy try to find the killer through telepathy. And luckily Dick Maas doesn't resort to an old Hollywood trick, and let them solve the whole thing.

Unfortunately, the whole industry in Europe is only interested in making "interesting, and challenging" movies. Movie making in Europe should be about the art, not about the money, according to the critics. The result, however, is that most movies from Europe are either depressing to the point of throwing yourself from a tall building, or completely incomprehensible, or just boring. There are a few great exceptions to the rule, and this is certainly one of them.

For those who saw it in 1988 in a theater, and happened to be in a theater that (as is usual in Holland) puts in a break half way through the movie, so they can scam you out of your money selling over priced drinks (okay different story), you might remember one of the best finishing touches to a movie ever seen: the hand that shoots out of the water, holding a strawberry ice cream cone! That actually had me about 5 inches of my seat.

Being that I was born in Sevilla of Spanish heritage, studied in Moscow, currently reside in England and speak Russian/Polish/Spanish and English fluently, you could say that I am somewhat culturally blessed. But when I'm not at home in Spain, you can usually find me enjoying the company and astonishing beauty of Polish women in Krakow or relaxing somewhere in the Netherlands. I love everything about Amsterdam. From its rich and tranquil canal based landscapes to its friendly and welcoming inhabitants, (that's not mentioning its wealth of world class soccer stars) you truly haven't lived until you've been there. That's why I was infinitely excited when I learnt that Holland had created its own addition to my favourite cinema sub-genre – a Dutch slasher movie! You read it right; Amsterdamned manages to mix the B-movie bliss of a masked psychopath with the cultural trademarks of my summer break paradise. And the best thing about it is that it's actually an amster-damned good movie (Apologies for the pun)…

It opens with a cool credit sequence that mixes some brilliant underwater photography with an eerie horror soundtrack that was provided by director Dick Maas. The shot pans along the riverbanks as a yet unidentified predator stalks its prey. It's almost like Jaws in a canal, as we watch the camera emerge from the murky depths, scan the area and then move on to another location. Next we cut to a prostitute flagging down a taxi later that same night. After an amusing bust up with the randy driver, the hooker is left walking the back streets to find her way home. Before she even has a chance to begin her journey, a dark figure raises out of the canal and repeatedly stabs her with a large blade. The killer, leaving a streaming trail of blood behind him, then drags her corpse into the river and disappears into a mass of bubbles. The following morning, the woman is discovered hanging upside down from a bridge and dripping with blood by a boat that's filled with tourists. That scene launches a terrific flair for subtle pitch black humour from the director, which continues throughout the movie.

Next up we meet Detective Eric Visser (Huub Stapel); a hard-boiled Dirty Harry-alike who is immediately put on the case of the bizarre killings. After a vital clue is found at the scene of the second slaughter, the Police seem convinced that the maniac is a diver and begin checking out all the local clubs and stores. Whilst following that lead, Eric meets Laura (Monique Van de Ven), a beautiful artist who is keen to help him crack the case. Meanwhile the body count is rising and the town mayor wants this killer caught. Can Visser track down this maniacal madman? Or will the killer find him first…?

Amsterdamned is probably one of the best slasher movies to be released towards the end of the eighties. Boasting a superb script ("What does she mean a big black monster with huge claws?" "I don't know but your mother-in-law better have a good alibi!"), some stunning photography, a great cast of characters and an extremely talented director; this is truly a great advertisement for Dutch cinema. It's not really a teen-slasher in the hackneyed Friday the 13th mould. Instead it's best described as a slasher/murder-mystery/thriller, which makes the most of being part of each category. The first thing I noticed was that Amsterdamned was extremely well financed even compared to its American brethrens. How many hack and slash flicks have you seen that have included a town-wide motorcycle chase AND a colossal boat pursuit in the same feature? Dick Maas did an extremely good job of making his movie stand out from the mediocrity that had engulfed the cycle this late into its rein.

Even though it is not famed for it's extreme gore, there's enough gooey corpses floating about (literally) to keep the bloodhounds interested. It's also competently written, which means that you won't have worked out the psychopath's identity when he is unmasked at the conclusion. The body count is fairly high and most of the murders are carried out creatively, whilst trying to pack in as much suspense and intrigue as possible. My favourite would have to be the underwater battle between the killer and an unsuspecting Police diver. The whole scene is filmed aboard a submerged boat and the claustrophobic tension is superbly executed. Unfortunately, Amsterdamned was yet another victim of poor dubbing for international broadcast, which means that the voice-overs sound like a consignment of English speaking foreigners from everywhere else BUT Holland! It's impossible for me to rate the cast's performances because I own the dubbed version, but I've heard that they're pretty poor from the supporting actors anyway.

This is wholly recommended to slasher fans across the globe. It's extremely well financed, boasts some snappy dialogue, superb direction, a cool killer costume and even a enjoyably cheesy theme tune; how can you argue with that. The boat chase alone is worth the budget purchase price. I'll be keeping a close eye on the Dutch movie-market to see if they bless the slasher genre once more with such credible output. Make sure you give this one a go

I saw this for the first time recently due to the director (I have enjoyed Dick Maas' The Lift and Prooi) and also got enticed into checking this movie due to some good reviews.

It is indeed a solid action thriller but the ending is kinda rushed n there is no mystery/suspense element to it.

It has a good car sequence doing a full 180, an amazing boat chase sequence reminding us of Bond's Live and Let Die.

While viewing this, Shape of Water came to my mind, especially during the tunnel scenes.

Veerman and Eric rush to Dr Martin's house when the nurse informs Eric about Laura's missed call. How they deduced that Laura will be at Martin's house is beyond me.

Martin's doors were all open. Now who keeps their doors open man. At least not here in my beloved country India.

Our lead guy (Eric) gets his face spit upon by a suspect and without washing his face he consumes coffee n then later has sex with Laura (a lousy one though). Hope he washed his face before kissing her.

The first time I saw this film was when I was 16, when they released the film in the U.S. At the time, I was a more or less a huge horror fan, so I decided to check it out. This film was awesome in terms of stunts and camerawork. The plot is somewhat typical of a serial killer/slasher film, but give Dick Maas credit. He did a splendid job with this film. I caught the film on TV last year and taped it. Every chance I get, I'll pop in it and watch the film. Kudos to Dick Maas and his team.

"Amsterdamned" is probably the only real Dutch action movie ever made. As such, it's also the best Dutch action movie ever made. When compared to standard Hollywood action movies, Amsterdamned falls somewhere in the middle: it's not a masterpiece, but it's not terrible either.

The acting is usually terrible in Dutch movies, and this movie is no different. Monique v.d. Ven and Huub Stapel are fine, but the supporting cast is filled with a bunch of over-acting amateurs. Sound quality is poor too: I am from Holland and I often have trouble understanding what the people are saying. But the action sequences (and there are a lot of those) are surprisingly well done for Dutch standards. And fortunately, the movie doesn't take itself too seriously.

All in all the action and humour make up for the occasionally terrible acting and somewhat flawed plot.

**/2 out of **** stars