Cries in the Night

Every now and then, you want to watch a movie that's just cozy and won't make you think too hard, scare you too much, or leave you too disturbed. One days like that, Funeral Home would make a nice movie companion. It never goes anywhere too dark, there's not any blood or gore to speak off, and it moves along at a reasonable pace, leaving you mostly unmoved, but not feeling like you wasted your time either.

Heather moves in with her quirky grandmother to turn their old funeral parlor into a boarding house and, as soon as the guests arrive, they start disappearing or dying under mysterious circumstances.

Any horror or mystery fan won't find the central mystery of Funeral Home too tough to crack, but that's part of the charm. Sometimes, it's just nice to see a familiar story well told.

I'll give "Funeral Home" a little extra credit, since it was directed by William Fruet, who also gave us the decent revenge pic "Death Weekend." The plot has a young girl returning to her grandparents' home, the former funeral parlor now converted into a bed and breakfast by the grandmother; but who is grandma talking to in the basement every night, and who is bumping off the sinful heathens who stop and stay at the B&B? The typical genre stereotypes are present: Goofy Young Deputy, Mentally Challenged Gardener, Puritanical Parental Figure, and the Sweetly Innocent Girl. The plot itself echoes "Psycho" in more ways than one, but with a fraction of the budget and considerably less talent. The actors are fairly good for this type of low-rent affair, and there are a few cheesily-integrated, yet atmospherically effective flashback scenes, but "Funeral Home" is simply a forgettable affair.

Exceptional in all departments for a cheaply constructed horror film, FUNERAL HOME is the creepy little tale of a young girl relocating to a provincial town in order to assist her grandmother in converting the family funeral home business into a modest bed-and-breakfast retreat. When people begin to mysteriously disappear, a history of bizarre family secrets is gradually revealed in a suspenseful mystery which spires toward a bizarre and thoroughly satisfying conclusion.

A surprisingly adept parsimonious undertaking, FUNERAL HOME is an atmospheric chiller with primary characters which are believably written and energetically dramatized...a largely uncharted item demonstrative of what talented hands can craft with limited resources.

Worthwhile and recommended. 6.5/10

I'm sure I'm in a distinct minority, but I actually like '80's slasher movies more for their atmosphere than for their special effects (which seem to look more cheesy and primitive with each passing year). Unfortunately, the eerie atmosphere of the early slasher movies eventually got overwhelmed, first by out-of-control special effects, then by talentless "scream queens" and softcore sex, and finally by cornball comedy and self-conscious parody. That's why I kind of like this film, even if it's nobody's idea of a great slasher flick or a good horror film. It has no gore and no nudity, but it has a good early 80's slasher movie atmosphere.

A teenage girl (Lesleh Donaldsen) comes to stay with her grandma who operates a hotel that was once a funeral home. Her violent grandfather has supposedly disappeared, but grandma keeps talking to someone in the cellar. Meanwhile, various obnoxious guests check into the hotel, but don't check out, and the girl and her new boyfriend start to investigate. This movie is original in that instead of ripping off "Halloween" like almost all the other slasher movies, it rips off an even older classic horror/thriller. But, as they say,if you're gonna steal, you should at least steal from the best. The ending probably won't surprise you too much, but it not entirely ineffective. The actress playing the grandma is very good and effectively scary. Donaldsen was one of a group of young Canadians that were regulars in these kind of films (Canadian tax shelter production masquerading as middle American films). She wasn't as pretty as Lisa Langlois or Tracy Bregman and didn't fall out of her clothes at the drop of a pay-cheque like Joy Boushel, but she was very good at playing "the girl next door", and this was one of her better roles.

Don't expect any T and A or gore here, but see this if you ever get a hankering for the old atmospheric early 80's slasher films.

After her husband passes away,a young widow decides to turn the old funeral home into a bed and breakfast.Unfortunately no one is prepared for the nightmare that is locked in the cellar.Canadian director William Fruet who made excellent rape-and-revenge film "Death Weekend" directed also this obscure slasher.Lesleh Donaldson more known from "Happy Birthday to Me" and "Curtains" is surprisingly decent and charming in the main role."Funeral Home",whilst obviously influenced by Alfred Hitchcock's classic "Psycho",offers some creepy surprises.The pace is rather slow and the body count is low,however the character of grandmother surely send shiver down my spine.All in all,"Funeral Home" is a surprisingly watchable slasher flick.Give it a look.7 out of 10.