Waitress!

WAITRESS! Is what the ancients used to call a "sex comedy", usually consisting of nudity and "ribald" humor. In this case, it makes one wonder who in the name of sanity would ever want to produce such a thing?

Starring no one in particular, and filled with idiot sight gags and dialogue, WAITRESS! Is sort of a grounded version of AIRPLANE!, minus any hilarity or fun. So, it comes as no surprise that Troma had a hand -and probably a foot- in this.

The lead-lined "jokes" come fast, leaving big marks on our brains, before thudding through the floor. Yes, the major reason for a "film" such as this to exist is to show scantily-clad and / or naked females. Sadly, the sheer misery caused by this cinematic kidney stone negates any / all nakedness!

Perhaps, it helps to realize that when it was made, there was no internet, and hogwash like this was considered "risque' or "naughty". Truthfully, it doesn't really matter, since whale smegma is still cheeeze, regardless of its vintage...

Billed as some sort of comedy, it completely misses on all levels. It's a confusing mess that never plants its feet and for that matter, ever figures out where/why they should be planted. The acting is horrible, the gags look like they were all rejects from the worst vaudeville shows. It mainly revolves around a NYC restaurant that has an overflowing amount of patrons, while being served food that is too gross to look at , yet alone eat. I don't recognize any "actors" in this film but they constantly offer childish/pun-like food-jokes even Benny Hill would not touch with a 10-foot fish-stick. The restaurant has a maniacal/drunk Russian chef and a wait-staff of about 20-women, but apparently there was no budget for the wardrobe department to provide them bras. If braless pokies are for you, at the cost of being totally annoyed and grossed-out, then this is the film for you.

Troma Entertainment is not known for quality films, but this one is really bad. This movie has it all: bad acting, bad directing, bad writing, bad set design, bad costumes and even a bad soundtrack. The best part of the movie is watching for the sight gags behind the main scene, like the heart attack victim being revived by jumper cables. Although the DVD seems to be marketed as soft porn (the actresses featured in lingerie on the cover) that isn't at all what this film is about. The intro says its about women's lib--maybe barely. There are lots of really bad jokes, including vaudeville style jokes shoe-horned into the script despite the fact that they do nothing to advance the plot (lots of farces do this, but this wasn't supposed to be farce--at least I don't think it was!).

But the most remarkable thing about this movie is that it seems to have killed the careers of almost every actor who appeared in it! There are 214 credited parts, and of those 157 actors never appeared in another film. None of the three female leads ever did another movie or TV show.

I think it is quite possible that this movie ranks as the all-time leader in "last movie they ever did" category.

There are a couple of actors who actually survived the film. In the intro to the DVD they mention Chris Noth (Big on "Sex in the City"; "Law and Order") and Larry "Bud" Melman. Noth has no lines and is barely recognizable in the 10 seconds of screen time; Melman has two lines. Anthony John Denison has a major part (Moe), and amazingly went on to have a very successful career. He is definitely the exception; everyone else in the movie must have changed careers.

"Waitress" is a bad movie when judged by the Hollywood standard. The technical aspects fall short of generally accepted norms, the editing sometimes makes you wonder if they resorted to using what they had instead of the best takes, the acting wavers between inspired and insipid, and the writing cannot stay on track long enough to get any single aspect of the story to the front, to allow a single thread to connect the feature.

All of the above combine to make a lurching, bumbling, lost in the dark movie that just also happens to be fun to watch. It could have been better-- but a better film would not have been as good.

Waitress is fun. Not "PC" in any form, not a glossy product, just fun in the context of the time it was made. A bad movie that is fun to watch-- another example of the contradiction of the American Dream.

"Waitress!" is about as bad as a comedy can get. It can barely be called a movie; it's more like a collage of randomly connected images and scenes that don't build from each other or move any sort of plot forward. And the editing is so rapid it may give you a headache. I'd give this dreadful film 0.5 out of 4 stars.