Misterio en la isla de los monstruos

This wasn't smart enough to be considered campy or tongue-in-cheek. Although, come to think of it, it did have every cliche of bad monster/castaway/uncharted island movies. I suppose that's an accomplishment.

Unfortunately, this one constituted another gaffe within my ongoing Halloween challenge since it's not really a horror film despite title, director (he'd later make the gory PIECES [1983]) and presence of genre icons Peter Cushing and Paul Naschy! In fact, it's a typical Jules Verne adventure (based on his much-filmed "Mysterious Island") which proves surprisingly palatable – thanks also to a lively score – though unbalanced by comedy relief from the youthful hero's bumbling/cowardly sidekick, a Professor of Elocution whose name is constantly mispronounced ("T. Artelet not tartlet!").

Cushing is the protagonist's rich uncle who has purchased an island, to which the boy is sent and where he meets a variety of dangers (pirates, cannibals, monsters) – eventually, there's a twist with respect to most of these, which thankfully explains the sheer poverty of the creatures on display! On the other hand, Naschy has a very small role at the start as a man who has struck gold – which is then coveted by his associates. The latter include Terence Stamp who, for obvious reasons, was Cushing's chief rival for the acquisition of the island; later on, he turns up on it (ludicrously shrouded from top to bottom complete with anachronistic goggles!) with his bandit horde to take the gold by force – to this end, he even plants a female 'shipwreck victim' to lure the hero into divulging the loot's whereabouts.

Coupled with the far better GORILLA AT LARGE (1954; see above) on Fox's-by-way-of-MGM "Midnite Movies" banner, it offers the film both in English and Spanish. At first, always the stickler for a film's native country being its original language, I started watching the film in Spanish but when a narrator began translating the credits into Spanish and the English subtitles proved to be of the descriptive "hard of hearing" variety, I soon gave up my puritan pretensions and watched it with the more 'user friendly' English soundtrack on. At least, one does get to hear Cushing and Stamp reciting their own lines this way...

Mr Kolderup (Peter Cushing) buys a tropical island for five million dollars. His rival Taskinar (Terence Stamp) also wanted the island - because he knows a gold treasure is hidden there. Still he couldn't make a higher bid than Kolderup. When Kolderup sends young Jeff (Ian Sera) to the island along with his teacher (David Hatton), because the lad looks for adventure, wants to become a man et cetera, Taskinar plans to make that adventure much more dangerous than intended...

Well, it's innocent fun with the typical ingredients: shipwrecked on a mysterious island, the heroes meet monsters and unknown enemies, a beautiful lady in distress, and last not least a monkey for comic relief. "Mystery On Monster Island" is not among the classics of the genre, but definitely less boring than most stuff they show on TV in the afternoon.

This is the movie of my childhood. Everything was so colorful with beautiful landscapes of desert island, predictable, scary creatures, monsters, guys behind the masks and the bad guy in the middle, pulling all the strings. Of course, there is a beautiful girl in the very end, who comes as the reward for heroic action of the main character. I just love happy endings, where happy couple proves that love between man and a woman is the only thing which matters on this world.

Yet another fascinating motion picture extravaganza from prolific Spanish director Juan Piquer Simon. In this one, Mr. Simon actually got some name actors to appear, namely Peter Cushing and Terrance Stamp, who most will remember as old guys in various Star Wars movies. Luckily, they only appear in a couple of scenes, leaving the leading man duties to Ian Sera, who was memorable as the "It Stinks!" guy in "Pod People" and the guy who gets his crotch crushed in "Pieces". Frank Brana, another venerable Simon regular, has a brief appearance as well (too brief- he doesn't get any ridiculous dialog like he did in "Slugs").

Anyway, Sera has been stranded on a deserted island with a really annoying sidekick who constantly screams and falls over and wets himself in the most disgraceful performance since Jerry Lewis repelled movie goers in the sixties. Sera and his grating companion face every deserted island cliché ever as they build a fort, forage for supplies, befriend a precocious chimp, and team up with an offensive black native stereotype who has to constantly save our "heroes" from their own stupidity. We get to see them in seemingly endless musical montages which are mostly taken up by the constant mugging of the painfully unfunny sidekick, as he manages to drop every possible object on the island on his toe.

But remember, they were unfortunate enough to land on Monster Island, and this flick certainly doesn't skimp on said monsters. First their boat is attacked by green fish monsters whose eyes seem to be painted on. Then it's a giant dinosaur who can't close his mouth, some lumbering seaweed men with no discernable powers to attack with, and some cute, steam blowing caterpillars. It should be noted that our hero repeatedly discovers that bullets can't stop the monsters, but doesn't stop unloading clip after clip at them, wasting his limited ammunition supply.

Despite the aggravating comic relief guy and a couple of racist caricatures, this would be a pretty good movie for kids- the monkey is great, and the effects are competent enough, and things move along fast enough to hold a youngster's interest. Unfortunately, there is a completely ridiculous plot twist towards the end that sends this flick into the simply idiotic file. I won't spoil it here, but needless to say, "The Game" this ain't.