VALUTAZIONE IMDb
3,5/10
917
LA TUA VALUTAZIONE
Aggiungi una trama nella tua linguaTwo siblings cursed in prehistoric times survive for millennia by feasting on the entrails of young people, prowling in what eventually becomes a park in contemporary Los Angeles.Two siblings cursed in prehistoric times survive for millennia by feasting on the entrails of young people, prowling in what eventually becomes a park in contemporary Los Angeles.Two siblings cursed in prehistoric times survive for millennia by feasting on the entrails of young people, prowling in what eventually becomes a park in contemporary Los Angeles.
- Regia
- Sceneggiatura
- Star
Tammy Taylor
- Bondi
- (as Tamara Taylor)
Barbara Bain
- Patty
- (as Barbara Monker)
- …
Robert Gribbin
- Mark
- (as Crackers Phinn)
- …
Recensioni in evidenza
If you are showering and a creepy man walks in on you and stares at you, instead of kicking him out and calling the cops, you should ask him if he needs a room to rent. Unfortunately, he'll probably end up marrying you so that you will bare his child and be the perfect mom so that he can sacrifice the kid as a virgin to stop a cannibal curse on himself and his sister which was placed 12,000 years ago. Or something. That's pretty much the plot of "Don't Go Near the Park." This is some of the worst writing in the genre. Dark Sky does a great job with packaging, as usual, but this is the first film they've re-released that is probably skippable, as it has little to no entertainment value.
I read the warnings online. Despite them, I stupidly went out and rented this piece of garbage. Wow. I've been let-down by a movie before, but never by a movie I had no expectations for anyway. This was just bad. First of all, the intro takes place "12,000 years ago"... which would make the characters 10,000 years older than Christ, but they speak VERY good American English... wow. THAT'S an impressive feat, almost as impressive as going on a 12,000 year-long murdering spree and not being caught once. Another impressive feat would have to be the awesome special effects they used to show aging... which were the exact same effects used in The Wolf Man almost 40 years prior to this. Incredible. [sarcasm]
Yes folks, this movie includes it all: bad acting, stupid effects, weak plot, and best of all, two 12,000 year old murderers, everything. The only thing this movie has going for it, in my opinion, is that it's hard to find.
Yes folks, this movie includes it all: bad acting, stupid effects, weak plot, and best of all, two 12,000 year old murderers, everything. The only thing this movie has going for it, in my opinion, is that it's hard to find.
The people who put down this movie must be the kind of people who when they were children would make fun of the retarded kid on the school playground. Of course, this movie is a dumb. Of course, it is laughably inept. It's not "so bad it's good"--it's not a good movie in any sense of the word--but there is something likable about it. Living in a time when movies may as well be written by corporate marketing directors and edited by a Hollywood test audience, it's nice to see a movie that is completely ridiculous, technically proficient in some ways but nevertheless looking like it was shot in someone's backyard with primitive special effects, amateurish acting, and Mom no doubt providing the catering. It was obviously a labor of love if not exactly a labor of competent film-making.
The plot is something about 12,000 year old brother and sister witches who have survived by cannibalizing young children, but cannot actually become young unless they have a kid and then--oh, who cares? Anyway, the brother chooses a young Linnea Quigley to be the bearer of his child. A comment here on Quigley: this is the kind of role she was meant to play--she provides some nudity (full-frontal, full-dorsal, lingering breast shot)and then exits stage left. Her nude scenes certainly add to the movie, but they are not cynically expected to carry the whole movie as was the case in a lot of the roles she did after she became a "scream queen". And maybe she can't act, but at least she tried in the early days before she adopted her intentional "bad acting" schtick.
The lead though is not Quigley but her "daughter" played by one Tamara Taylor, who never appeared in another movie but is pretty memorable in this one. She faces off against her old crone aunt and protects some other children from her (with the help of the obviously drunk headliner Aldo Ray). She's not a great actress by any means, but she fits THIS movie perfectly. Just as this movie at times resembles a deranged children's fairy tale with it bizarre storyline of witches and endangered youngsters before it suddenly launches into some unconvincing but very graphic gore(which got it put on the "video nasty" list in Britain), Taylor seems like a young, innocent girl but also has surprising and disturbing scenes like where she ends up in a van being pretty graphically groped by a group of would-be rapists(including, ironically enough, the director). This is followed by the most unintentionally funny scene in the movie where a protective amulet she is wearing causes the van to run off the road and explode in a near-nuclear fireball.
Is all this meant as a recommendation? Well, maybe not. But you have to admire the fact that something like this was ever made in the first place. There's never been another movie like this--and there probably never will be again.
The plot is something about 12,000 year old brother and sister witches who have survived by cannibalizing young children, but cannot actually become young unless they have a kid and then--oh, who cares? Anyway, the brother chooses a young Linnea Quigley to be the bearer of his child. A comment here on Quigley: this is the kind of role she was meant to play--she provides some nudity (full-frontal, full-dorsal, lingering breast shot)and then exits stage left. Her nude scenes certainly add to the movie, but they are not cynically expected to carry the whole movie as was the case in a lot of the roles she did after she became a "scream queen". And maybe she can't act, but at least she tried in the early days before she adopted her intentional "bad acting" schtick.
The lead though is not Quigley but her "daughter" played by one Tamara Taylor, who never appeared in another movie but is pretty memorable in this one. She faces off against her old crone aunt and protects some other children from her (with the help of the obviously drunk headliner Aldo Ray). She's not a great actress by any means, but she fits THIS movie perfectly. Just as this movie at times resembles a deranged children's fairy tale with it bizarre storyline of witches and endangered youngsters before it suddenly launches into some unconvincing but very graphic gore(which got it put on the "video nasty" list in Britain), Taylor seems like a young, innocent girl but also has surprising and disturbing scenes like where she ends up in a van being pretty graphically groped by a group of would-be rapists(including, ironically enough, the director). This is followed by the most unintentionally funny scene in the movie where a protective amulet she is wearing causes the van to run off the road and explode in a near-nuclear fireball.
Is all this meant as a recommendation? Well, maybe not. But you have to admire the fact that something like this was ever made in the first place. There's never been another movie like this--and there probably never will be again.
I have a certain prejudice for this cheapie because it was the only film i saw at a drive-in. I was a kid and i saw this small ad for the film showing at the drive-in and i asked my dad if he could take me the following night to see it. This is in Austin,Texas on Saturday, July 3. During that afternoon we took a boat ride close to where Hippie Hollow is. Hippie Hollow is a retreat where nudists hang out. Imagine my shock as a young boy seeing nudists in boats and getting a distant view of completely nude women! As we finished our trip i had convinced my dad to take me. He told a friend who accompanied us, "Last night we watched WOLFEN on HBO. This movie had a head come off...,i don't see how DON'T GO NEAR THE PARK could be any worse". That evening my dad saw one of the worst films he ever saw! I was bored,so i strolled along the pavement for a few minutes. Before, i was worried i was going to be scarred. When i got back to my dad's truck, he asked, "Are you scarred?" I replied i wasn't and when i asked him the same thing,he retorted "Nope". Afterwards,i was greatly disappointed. As few of you who've seen the film know, it is an ultra low-budget,unsavory schlock fest. However, as i approached adulthood,i had a dream this was showing on my local station in the daytime! This made me want to take a look at this film again. It was a nightmare to find and i only saw a videocassette of this in a Kingsville videostore! I rented it and saw it at a friend's house. I was caught off-guard that Lineau Quigly was in it! Last year i looked for an Amazon copy and they didn't have one. For some reason i stumbled on another site and it had a rare DVD! I purchased it. I now have this childhood memory on DVD!
"Don't Go Near the Park" is one of the most bizarrely incompetent movies I have ever seen. I've watched it twice now, and still don't really know what it's about. There's something in there about cavemen being cursed to never die but continue to age. The only way the cavemen can stave off this awesome decrepitude is to eat the guts of children. They also hang out in a park, I think, which sort-of-explains the title. (?)
Other than that I can't really make head nor tail of this movie. There are a few scenes where people's guts are ripped open, however unconvincingly. Why do they just do it with their hands? Wouldn't it take incredible strength to rip through the stomach muscles to access the gut?
There is an attempted rape scene where a girl has her shirt ripped open and then makes a van crash.
Also Linnea Quigley shows up in one of her earliest roles. She shows her breast.
There's also a curly-haired kid, whose presence in the movie I didn't understand, and a guy named Cowboy.
Can anything be made of all this?
I'm not the asinine type of film viewer who needs everything to make sense. Some of my favourite movies make no sense and I love them for it. But "Don't Go Near the Park" has another fatal flaw: it's boring.
Other than that I can't really make head nor tail of this movie. There are a few scenes where people's guts are ripped open, however unconvincingly. Why do they just do it with their hands? Wouldn't it take incredible strength to rip through the stomach muscles to access the gut?
There is an attempted rape scene where a girl has her shirt ripped open and then makes a van crash.
Also Linnea Quigley shows up in one of her earliest roles. She shows her breast.
There's also a curly-haired kid, whose presence in the movie I didn't understand, and a guy named Cowboy.
Can anything be made of all this?
I'm not the asinine type of film viewer who needs everything to make sense. Some of my favourite movies make no sense and I love them for it. But "Don't Go Near the Park" has another fatal flaw: it's boring.
Lo sapevi?
- QuizScream Queen legend Linnea Quigley's first horror movie role. She talked about it in a 2015 interview with AV/Club. "[My first horror film was] a movie called' Don't Go Near The Park', and it was done by Lawrence Foldes. He was probably 19, not much older than me. I went in, and it was when they had this [casting call publication] called Drama Log and they had 'looking for a 19-24-looking woman.' I sent my picture in, and they called me and I read for the part of this woman that bears a child. They're supposed to age me, like she's all grown up and everything, and I had a real babyface then, but they used the worst makeup, and I just looked like I had stipple on. It was crazy. It looked so bad. The movie was terrible."
- Versioni alternativeFor the U.S. release, several snippets of gore from the cannibal scenes were cut to earn an "R" rating instead of an "X".
- ConnessioniFeatured in Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship & Videotape (2010)
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Dettagli
- Data di uscita
- Paese di origine
- Lingua
- Celebre anche come
- Don't Go Near the Park
- Luoghi delle riprese
- Paramount Ranch - 2813 Cornell Road, Agoura, California, Stati Uniti(Exterior & interior scenes in Western town; roads and open landscape areas)
- Azienda produttrice
- Vedi altri crediti dell’azienda su IMDbPro
Botteghino
- Budget
- 110.000 USD (previsto)
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By what name was La collina dei morti viventi (1979) officially released in Canada in English?
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