C'era due volte...

John Cacavas' idea of a James Bond theme plays over the opening credits of this TV-movie spy flick which even features silhouetted buxom women posing in various contortions the same way the Bond films have done for decades. (The film also features a certain musical motif that is exceedingly close to what is found in all the Bond films.) Danson plays a computer expert who is coerced by the government into rescuing a super-computer from the clutches of evil, wheelchair-bound Lee, who intends to rule the world with it. The agent assigned to brief Danson is curvy, smart-mouthed Weller who reports to the authoritative and no-nonsense Parker. Retrieving the computer is only part of the job. Danson also hopes to rescue his doctor friend (Stone) and the doctor's daughter who are being held against their will, a task Parker is only mildly concerned about accomplishing. There is a lot of pseudo-witty banter and quasi-dangerous espionage as the film plays out with Danson and Weller straining for romantic chemistry while carrying out various aspects of a mission in which no one is ever killed. It's James Bond Lite, almost for kids. The whole enterprise reeks of "unsold pilot" with the credits even playing like a TV show opening and the ending setting the scene for possible future escapades. Danson is fairly solid throughout and manages to balance his character's brains and lack of experience pretty well. Weller is often very annoying, chirping Danson's character's name frequently ("Chenault!") and trotting around in foolish skirts, shoes and hairdos, acting like she's some big deal when really she's rather a lightweight herself. Lee is somewhat interesting at times, but could play this role in his sleep and sometimes seems like he's doing so. Parker (an unjustly forgotten actress who graced the silver screen with many wonderful, powerful performances in the 40's, 50's and beyond) is on her last legs here. She looks okay, but does all her scenes seated behind a large table and rattles out loud orders with very little timing or finesse. It's a sloppily done production with many continuity errors (notably in the costuming) and cheap sets. One notably intriguing sequence involves an elaborate maze in which Weller must fight for her life, but it is undercut by the fact that she is really in the same old section over and over with just angle and lighting changes tossed in occasionally. Lester, who plays a henchman here, would soon begin a memorable nine-year stay on "The Young and the Restless".

"Once Upon a Spy" is a TV movie featuring Ted Danson as a computer genius and Christopher Lee as an evil computer genius, Marcus Velorium, bent on controlling the world...much like a Bond villain. But unlike Bond, there is no super-spy to stop the madman...only nice-guy Jack (Danson).

Being 1980, the concepts of computers sure isn't what we think of today. So, when a supercomputer that is the size of a city block is stolen, folks take notice. As a result, one of the foremost NICE computer scientists, Jack, is brought to a top secret location to talk to some humorless woman...and she recruits him to help investigate the theft. Naturally, the computer is being used to vaporize things from space...and I hate when that happens.

As I said above, in many ways this plays like a Bond film....a really bad one featuring a leading man who seems completely out of his element. I think this might have worked had it been more of a parody. Instead, however, it just seemed annoying and childish....and would not appeal to most adult viewers...unless you are curious what Danson was doing before he became famous. Even with the scene-chewing Lee as the baddie, this is pretty limp and dated.

Neat little TV movie, in the spirit of "The Men From U.N.C.L.E." A pre-Cheers Ted Danson is partnered with an athletic female lead, and Christopher Lee is always good value as the villain. Former Hammer scribe Jimmy Sangster had a hand in the story.

I guess this television Movie of the Week planned to be back-door series pilot. A hokum version of The Man from Uncle with the James Bond like theme after the opening titles.

It stars a young Ted Danson as a government computer expert called in by a mysterious American intelligence service to track down a supercomputer stolen by dastardly Christopher Lee.

The reluctant Danson is paired up with attractive, blonde agent Mary Louise Weller and they make a good pair and Danson does well with the comedy and drama and has some literate lines although the plot is tosh. The final challenge set by Lee is called the Cat and the Canary with some Pacman type graphics.

As it was shown in 1980 a few years before films like Wargames and just before the Home Computer boom of the early 1980s, you have big computers the size of several walls that play a nifty game of chess just like the supercomputer in Wargames.

Danson shows talent which would make him a star a few years later in Cheers, but the the film was rather flimsy. It lacked the spark of the Man from from Uncle and I could not take seriously the secret entrance to the agency's office via a Tunnel of Love ride. From the short of the big wooden roller coaster, it looked like Knott's Berry Park!

Not great but there are some elements available today in 2021 (the film is made in 1980), they mention terms like "new world structure", "reset", "new order".

Ted Danson has neither salt nor pepper, the script is predictable and boring, Mary Louise Weller is beautiful and sexy in body-hugging costumes, either black or yellow. And Christopher Lee doesn't have the dominating force as in other movies. But his character fits Bill Gates perfectly.