Flash Gordon

American football star Flash Gordon (Sam Jones), scientist Hans Zarkov (Topol), and pretty estate agent Dale Arden (Melody Anderson) are blasted to the farthest reaches of space to fight Ming the Merciless (Max Von Sydow), the tyrannical ruler of Mongo, who has been subjecting The Earth to a series of violent attacks in the form of freak weather conditions and terrible catastrophes.

Featuring blond pretty boy Sam Jones in the title role, some of the most garish costumes in the history of cinema, cheesy dialogue galore, a catchy pop/rock soundtrack by Queen, poorly constructed props (and a few rather suggestive looking ones), marvellously hammy performances from a fine collection of cult character actors (including Department S's Richard Wyngarde, Rocky Horror's Richard O'Brien and good old Brian Blessed), and spectacularly ropey special effects (all wires clearly visible), Flash Gordon is quite possibly the most gleefully daft, over-the-top, knowingly tacky, and outrageously flamboyant sci-fi film ever made.

Don't be put off by the fact that the film is perfect for a themed night at the local gay bar, though—Flash Gordon might be camper than a row of tents, as the saying goes, but there really is something for everyone but the most joyless of movie pedants: we get fantastical floating worlds that predate those in Avatar by three decades, there's pet dwarfs, crazy laser battles, a whip-wielding dominatrix, assorted sexy bints in skimpy outfits, and even a little 'gore' (both Ming and his henchman Klytus meet nasty fates)—PLUS for every shot of our hero in a tight T-shirt or leather hot-pants, we get several of the gorgeous Ornella Muti (as Ming's sultry daughter Princess Aura) in her figure hugging red catsuit, easily rivalling Buck Rogers' Erin Gray in the sexy Spandex stakes. Melody Anderson as Dale isn't exactly ugly either, and also gets to wear some very revealing get-ups.

Hell, even Blue Peter fans are catered for, with '80s presenter Peter Duncan appearing as a tree dweller whose hand is attacked by a slimy vacuum cleaner bag with a poisonous sting in its tail. Now that's what I call entertainment!

Colorful, silly fun, at times campy, Mike Hodges's 1980 "Flash Gordon" is among those movies that are less than the sum of their parts. Made on shoe-string budgets with C-picture performers and crew for young undemanding viewers, the original 1930's Flash Gordon serials are unintentionally funny to adults today. To recapture the innocence and naivete of those movies with a big budget and trained actors is a difficult task, although Hodges's "Flash Gordon" makes a decent attempt. Lorenzo Semple's screenplay tracks the original serials fairly well; Flash and Dale Arden are taken aboard Doctor Hans Zarkov's spacecraft and flown to the planet Mongo, where they battle Emperor Ming the Merciless to save the Earth. Semple's script has enough classic bad dialog to satisfy seekers of camp; "I love you Flash, but we only have 14 hours to save the Earth." However, the difference between Semple's script and the original series is that Semple knew he was writing bad dialog, while the writers of the serial were unintentionally hilarious.

That difference in intention also applies to the actors; Buster Crabbe and company played the serials dead-pan straight, and those in the remake who play their parts equally straight come off best. The under-demanding role of Flash requires the skills of a Razzie Award Winning thespian, and, Sam J. Jones won a Razzie nomination for his work herein. Although not a super hero in the modern sense, the blonde hunk, who sports nothing but leather trunks in one scene, physically fills the role, and Jones manages to deliver his lines with a convincing lack of conviction as the dim, but well meaning Flash. However, the movie's scene-stealer is Max Von Sydow as Ming the Merciless; appropriately garbed and made-up as the evil emperor, Von Sydow plays the role with majesty and menace, which is all the more fun. Unfortunately, Topol as Doctor Zarkov, does not follow Von Sydow's example and winks and smiles as the mad scientist, telegraphing to viewers that he is in on the joke. But Brian Blessed as the winged Prince Vultan, Timothy Dalton as Prince Barin, and, especially, the delicious Peter Wyngarde as Klytus deliver their lines as though penned by the Bard himself. Although Mariangela Melato is a memorable Kala, Melody Anderson as Dale Arden should have been in the running for a Razzie alongside Jones, which is intended as a compliment.

Besides Von Sydow, the film's other scene-stealer is designer Danilo Donati, who provided the lavish Fellini-esque costumes and sets. While Donati's work tends to emphasize red and gold, which may not be to everyone's taste, his outlandish designs are as entertaining as anything on display and certainly light years beyond those of the 1930's serials. If Donati or another anonymous designer created the Art-Deco spaceships, he or she too deserves kudos as do the creators of the appropriately tacky and obvious special effects, which beautifully evoke the primitive work of the 1930's serials. As contemporary and important as the art direction is the pulsating score by Queen that punctuates the action and enhances the excitement. While "Flash Gordon" is not the high camp perhaps intended, the film has a cult following and enough outstanding attributes to satisfy main-stream audiences. Led by Max Von Sydow's iconic Ming the Merciless, Queen's pounding music, and Danilo Donati's dazzling designs, "Flash Gordon" may not be to everybody's taste, but should be savored by all at least once, just for the sheer fun of it all.

In 1980, science fiction was undergoing a revival of sorts. Some would argue that it is unfortunate that the science fiction appearing on the big screens of the time were more action-oriented than dramatic in nature. Flash Gordon came at a time when audiences were being trained to expect more and more from their films, with budgets skyrocketing and effects becoming progressively more important than the story. It is therefore somewhat disheartening to see reviewers focusing on how camp or low-fi they perceive it to be. Camp, low-budget, low-fi it is, but it has something that Episode 2 of Star Wars in particular didn't. Namely, it has the ingredients of a rollicking good time. From the awesome soundtrack by Queen to the near-ridiculous action sequences, Flash Gordon is almost the last hurrah in an era where filmmakers were expected to spend at least as much time on script and dialogue as they do eye candy. What makes it all the more interesting is that beyond the basic setup, there almost is no story to speak of.

Beginning with a POV shot from some distant planet, we see how the world we take for granted is suddenly subjected to all sorts of destructive weather patterns by its Emperor. Emperor Ming has decided to shift the orbit of the moon in order to make it collide with Earth, leaving a handful of days before all life on the planet is destroyed. Not one to take this kind of thing lying down, a scientist by the name of Hans Zarkov is busily building a rocket so that he might go to the source of the attacks and reason with them. Coincidentally, a plane carrying football star Flash Gordon and some girl called Dale Arden crash into Zarkov's lab. Tricking them into boarding his rocket, Zarkov takes them on a brief trip to a world so barren one wonders where they find the liquid to sustain themselves. Taken captive and escorted to the Emperor, our heroes bear witness to a society in which Lords of several moons pay tribute to said Emperor. With their lives, if need be. The real fun begins when Ming takes an interest in Dale.

Interest is putting it mildly. In a classic script oversight, Ming decides within a moment of first seeing her that he wants Dale to do with as he will. Flash is naturally not one to take such things lying down, so he begins attacking Ming's guards with a series of offensive football-style strikes. This gets the attention of several Lords who have been awaiting the right moment to overthrow Ming, but the fight is lost before it has begun, for obvious reasons. Overpowered, Flash is sentenced to execution, and thus the first of many bondage-like outfits is seen. I am not one to cry out "gay" when I see two men express a powerful bond, but several people I have watched the film with now agree that Flash Gordon has one of the biggest gay, or S&M, themes going in 1980s film. Not that this is particularly important, but the amount of leather underwear and tights on display would have made the Village People blush. Of course, this is all just one adult subtext that will go right over the head of the children in the audience.

One commendable feature of Flash Gordon is the death scenes. Aiming a film at children and dispatching characters in a violent fashion is always a tricky business. This adaptation gets around the issue by showing the alien creatures melting after they are killed. The manner in which this is filmed would probably get Flash Gordon a more restrictive rating if it were released for the first time today. It reminds me in part of a description in Repo Man. Eyes, skin, even bones melt in a manner that tells us how alien the villains are in a way that all the prosthetics in the world cannot. Roger Ebert was right on the money when he wrote that Flash Gordon "is cheerfully willing to look as phony as it is". That he didn't mean it as a criticism shows that he got what the film was about. During action sequences, it assaults the senses and almost bullies the viewer into forgetting that what they are seeing is anything but real. During extended moments of dialogue, it flat out orders you to not take it seriously.

Making it all the funnier is that producer Dino De Laurentiis, that famed bankrupt-wannabe, thought the whole story was serious. As director Mike Hodges phrased it, anyone who watches the film will find that factoid "rather curious". Sam Jones is absolutely terrible as the titular hero, and yet it works because a certain idiocy is what the character requires. Really, the whole thing reeks of being rushed into production, and then rushed to theatre screens, which probably sealed its financial doom. Hodges apparently had to work with a crew whose language he did not speak, with a script that wasn't finished, and no storyboards to boot. Having seen the finished product on DVD after all these years, I have to confess that my respect for Hodges has gone right through the roof in light of this. Forget Flash - Hodges is the one who can rightfully claim to be king of the impossible. Anyway, when all is said and done, Flash Gordon is representative of the direction cinema might well have been better off taking.

For these reasons and more, I gave Flash Gordon circa 1980 a seven out of ten. Excitement and adventure always beat a big budget, as this film proves.

Some childhood obsessions stay with you for life, and Flash would have to be one of them. In fact, Flash Gordon, Star Wars, and Battlestar Galactica began a lifelong obsession with science fiction and fantasy in all of its good (and especially) bad forms. The above summary isn't really accurate; 20 years don't make a difference to how much I like this film, but they have changed my reasons for liking it. With hindsight, I've discovered exactly who Lorenzo Semple Jr. is, and now, fully understanding the camp elements of this film, I can still enjoy it, but on a completely new level. As for complaints about the acting of Sam Jones (who did much worse in the abysmal firefighter series Code Red) and Melody Anderson, you hire actors for what they can do, not what they can't. This is why Keanu Reeves was perfect for The Matrix, and why Arnold Schwarzenegger was perfect for The Terminator. Jones and Anderson serve the same purpose for Semple as Adam West and Burt Ward did in the Batman series; who better than someone sadly lacking in acting skills to deliver a completely ludicrous line with a straight face? Unless your name is Charlton Heston, experienced actors have a difficult time with it. Anyways, I digress. The things that first attracted me to this film still do it for me, and that would be the production values and special effects, not to mention the great soundtrack by Queen (I actually had a friend consider using Brian May's arrangement of the Wedding March at his wedding; his mother, of course, ixnayed it). This is still a great looking movie, even by today's standards, which makes me wonder if DeLaurentiis was in on the joke the whole time. All in all, a lot of fun, unless you get offended by less than faithful revisions, in which case I have to wonder about your upbringing.

Geez, I think my title summed up everything that needs to be said. "Flash Gordon" has all the sci-fi and action as "Star Wars" but blended with an unapologetic campiness and comic bookishness like the iconic 60s Batman series. Throw into the mix, um, QUEEN doing the soundtrack, and you've got yourself an experience that will never happen again.

You might be thinking the blend I just described is as ill-advised as putting pineapple on pizza (seriously does anyone really like that?), but actually the blend is perfect if we take a quick look at the decade that this film wraps up, the 70s. The 70s was the decade of the rock opera: The Who's "Tommy", the doo-wopper "Grease", Motown's "The Wiz", the punkish "Rocky Horror" and bunches of others that swept the box office. While "Flash Gordon" isn't a musical, as defined by characters breaking out into song & dance, the vibe of the movie spells rock opera with a capital Rock. In plain terms this means a very tongue-in-cheek, over-the-top, theatrical and colorful spectacle that is not to be taken as a straightforward drama. If you can grasp that concept, I guarantee you'll love this flick.

The plot? Who cares. Something about saving the universe, I'm sure. But it doesn't matter because, like a good roller coaster ride, or like a good adventurous vacation, we don't care how it's mapped out. We just get a thrill out of each individual twist & turn, each scene, each surprise, and all the while we're taking mental notes of all the horribly awesome lines we can quote to our friends and annoy them for months afterwards.

A serious note about the acting. This production drew the talents of some of the finest actors of stage & screen, and for them to be able to play such campy characters is a testament to their true expertise. I'm talking dramatic & Shakespearean legends like Brian Blessed, Max von Sydow, Timothy Dalton, not to mention the incomparable personality of Topol (Fiddler on the Roof) and the show-stealing, sexually repressed Ornella Muti as the Emperor's daughter--whose mere presence would've kicked the MPAA rating from PG to PG-13 if that designation had existed back then. Even if you don't recognize any of these people, you'll find each one of them to be unforgettable.

"Flash Gordon" is a film that has no equal. You could say it's a distant cousin to 1968's "Barbarella" (another wtf experience that shouldn't be missed), but really it's beyond compare. So hurry up and see this movie ...you only have 14 hours to save the earth!