Flash Gordon

American football star Flash Gordon (Sam Jones), scientist Hans Zarkov (Topol), and pretty estate agent Dale Arden (Melody Anderson) are blasted to the farthest reaches of space to fight Ming the Merciless (Max Von Sydow), the tyrannical ruler of Mongo, who has been subjecting The Earth to a series of violent attacks in the form of freak weather conditions and terrible catastrophes.

Featuring blond pretty boy Sam Jones in the title role, some of the most garish costumes in the history of cinema, cheesy dialogue galore, a catchy pop/rock soundtrack by Queen, poorly constructed props (and a few rather suggestive looking ones), marvellously hammy performances from a fine collection of cult character actors (including Department S's Richard Wyngarde, Rocky Horror's Richard O'Brien and good old Brian Blessed), and spectacularly ropey special effects (all wires clearly visible), Flash Gordon is quite possibly the most gleefully daft, over-the-top, knowingly tacky, and outrageously flamboyant sci-fi film ever made.

Don't be put off by the fact that the film is perfect for a themed night at the local gay bar, though—Flash Gordon might be camper than a row of tents, as the saying goes, but there really is something for everyone but the most joyless of movie pedants: we get fantastical floating worlds that predate those in Avatar by three decades, there's pet dwarfs, crazy laser battles, a whip-wielding dominatrix, assorted sexy bints in skimpy outfits, and even a little 'gore' (both Ming and his henchman Klytus meet nasty fates)—PLUS for every shot of our hero in a tight T-shirt or leather hot-pants, we get several of the gorgeous Ornella Muti (as Ming's sultry daughter Princess Aura) in her figure hugging red catsuit, easily rivalling Buck Rogers' Erin Gray in the sexy Spandex stakes. Melody Anderson as Dale isn't exactly ugly either, and also gets to wear some very revealing get-ups.

Hell, even Blue Peter fans are catered for, with '80s presenter Peter Duncan appearing as a tree dweller whose hand is attacked by a slimy vacuum cleaner bag with a poisonous sting in its tail. Now that's what I call entertainment!

A football player is tricked to travel the planet Mongo and finds himself forging friendships while fighting a tyrant, Ming the Merciless, to save Earth.

Lacking the production values and execution of the comparable Star Wars, Flash Gordon retains its comic-strip and Saturday morning matinée serial feel, possibly thanks to a troubled production and Lorenzo Semple Jr. screenplay.

Peter Wyngarde plays masked villain Klytus elegantly creepy (possibly and inspiration for He-Man's Skeletor) and with Mariangela Melato Kala's (oddly He-Man borrows another character this time Evil-Lynn) leads the assault while The Emperor Ming played subtly by  Max von Sydow takes a back seat. It's this distance between the protagonist and antagonist that hampers the film but on the other hand it's works to its credit allowing an array of colourful characters to line the screen including Brian Blessed as Prince Vultan who's delivers a barrage of classic lines while Timothy Dalton to graces the screen as dashing Errol Flynn alike Prince Barin.

Flash's love interest Dale Arden is played by Melody Anderson Dale is the perfect 1950's style every day New Yorker. Flash lacks Charisma, history may have been different should Kurt Russell had committed.  Either way Sam J. Jones Flash Gordon does the job. There's tones of familiar faces including UK's Richard O'Brien, Robbie Coltrane and Blue Peter's Peter Duncan. Sultry Ornella Muti is perfect as Ming's daughter Princess Aura nevertheless there's no doubt Topol steals every scene as unhinged science 'genius'  Dr. Hans Zarkov.

While characters arcs change pacer than Queen's memorable pumping and notable soundtrack amongst themes of forging friendships, suicide, death, sacrifice and resurrection to name a few there's spaceships, poisonous creatures, red-clad guards and enough sequins to start a cabaret show all the things you'd expect from a science fiction.  Beneath the bright and lustre costumes there's a dark and rebel subtext. 

Director Mike Hodges gives us many stand out scenes including a battle to the death on a remote control tilting platform with retractable spikes, an American football inspired fight, a space shuttle assault, gooey spider-monster and girls cat fight. There's also some nice touches during Zarkov and prince escape that stay in the mind.  The effects are a mixed bag with projection and composites heavy utilised, again it gives it's that hammy serial feel but hampers Flash's longevity as a rounded work of art. Even so it packs in so many memorable characters, lines and moments that it retains a must seem charm.

Flash Gordon is flawed as much as the actor title role, it never fully explores the characters, yet, it's well defined and still is a lot of fun. Gordon's alive!

No other film is like this one, as Sam J. Jones plays the title character, based on the famous comic strip and early Saturday morning serials with Buster Crabbe. Max Von Sydow is the evil Ming the Merciless, ruler of Mongo, who is trying to destroy Earth because he is bored. Melody Anderson is Dale Arden, in love with Flash and coveted by Ming. Topol is Dr. Hans Zarkhov, whose rocket ship took the three of them to Mongo in the first place. Brian Blessed is extremely enthusiastic as Prince Vultan, Pre-James Bond Timothy Dalton is quite serious as Prince Barin, rival of Vultan, and in love with Ming's ultra sensuous daughter Princess Aura(Ornella Muti) All will converge in the exciting finale where Flash must save the day.

Crazy film is nonetheless great fun, no point in taking this seriously, since everything about it is intentionally over the top, punctuated by a soaring score and incredible sets and costumes. Not to be over thought or have all kinds of subtext in it, just sit back and enjoy!

In 1980, science fiction was undergoing a revival of sorts. Some would argue that it is unfortunate that the science fiction appearing on the big screens of the time were more action-oriented than dramatic in nature. Flash Gordon came at a time when audiences were being trained to expect more and more from their films, with budgets skyrocketing and effects becoming progressively more important than the story. It is therefore somewhat disheartening to see reviewers focusing on how camp or low-fi they perceive it to be. Camp, low-budget, low-fi it is, but it has something that Episode 2 of Star Wars in particular didn't. Namely, it has the ingredients of a rollicking good time. From the awesome soundtrack by Queen to the near-ridiculous action sequences, Flash Gordon is almost the last hurrah in an era where filmmakers were expected to spend at least as much time on script and dialogue as they do eye candy. What makes it all the more interesting is that beyond the basic setup, there almost is no story to speak of.

Beginning with a POV shot from some distant planet, we see how the world we take for granted is suddenly subjected to all sorts of destructive weather patterns by its Emperor. Emperor Ming has decided to shift the orbit of the moon in order to make it collide with Earth, leaving a handful of days before all life on the planet is destroyed. Not one to take this kind of thing lying down, a scientist by the name of Hans Zarkov is busily building a rocket so that he might go to the source of the attacks and reason with them. Coincidentally, a plane carrying football star Flash Gordon and some girl called Dale Arden crash into Zarkov's lab. Tricking them into boarding his rocket, Zarkov takes them on a brief trip to a world so barren one wonders where they find the liquid to sustain themselves. Taken captive and escorted to the Emperor, our heroes bear witness to a society in which Lords of several moons pay tribute to said Emperor. With their lives, if need be. The real fun begins when Ming takes an interest in Dale.

Interest is putting it mildly. In a classic script oversight, Ming decides within a moment of first seeing her that he wants Dale to do with as he will. Flash is naturally not one to take such things lying down, so he begins attacking Ming's guards with a series of offensive football-style strikes. This gets the attention of several Lords who have been awaiting the right moment to overthrow Ming, but the fight is lost before it has begun, for obvious reasons. Overpowered, Flash is sentenced to execution, and thus the first of many bondage-like outfits is seen. I am not one to cry out "gay" when I see two men express a powerful bond, but several people I have watched the film with now agree that Flash Gordon has one of the biggest gay, or S&M, themes going in 1980s film. Not that this is particularly important, but the amount of leather underwear and tights on display would have made the Village People blush. Of course, this is all just one adult subtext that will go right over the head of the children in the audience.

One commendable feature of Flash Gordon is the death scenes. Aiming a film at children and dispatching characters in a violent fashion is always a tricky business. This adaptation gets around the issue by showing the alien creatures melting after they are killed. The manner in which this is filmed would probably get Flash Gordon a more restrictive rating if it were released for the first time today. It reminds me in part of a description in Repo Man. Eyes, skin, even bones melt in a manner that tells us how alien the villains are in a way that all the prosthetics in the world cannot. Roger Ebert was right on the money when he wrote that Flash Gordon "is cheerfully willing to look as phony as it is". That he didn't mean it as a criticism shows that he got what the film was about. During action sequences, it assaults the senses and almost bullies the viewer into forgetting that what they are seeing is anything but real. During extended moments of dialogue, it flat out orders you to not take it seriously.

Making it all the funnier is that producer Dino De Laurentiis, that famed bankrupt-wannabe, thought the whole story was serious. As director Mike Hodges phrased it, anyone who watches the film will find that factoid "rather curious". Sam Jones is absolutely terrible as the titular hero, and yet it works because a certain idiocy is what the character requires. Really, the whole thing reeks of being rushed into production, and then rushed to theatre screens, which probably sealed its financial doom. Hodges apparently had to work with a crew whose language he did not speak, with a script that wasn't finished, and no storyboards to boot. Having seen the finished product on DVD after all these years, I have to confess that my respect for Hodges has gone right through the roof in light of this. Forget Flash - Hodges is the one who can rightfully claim to be king of the impossible. Anyway, when all is said and done, Flash Gordon is representative of the direction cinema might well have been better off taking.

For these reasons and more, I gave Flash Gordon circa 1980 a seven out of ten. Excitement and adventure always beat a big budget, as this film proves.

During the middle section of this movie, our hero 'Flash' Gordon, accompanied by Ornella "Most beautiful woman in the world" Muti, witnesses ex Bond Timothy Dalton giving ex Blue Peter presenter Peter Duncan the sweet merciful release of death by putting him to the(cardboard) sword (offscreen). "Its an initiation" purrs the shapely Muti, "I just love initiations".

This 1980 version of the perennial Saturday morning sci-fi cliffhanger is a feast for the senses. That is, if your senses crave lashings of junkfood. With an eye meltingly lurid palette of colours and rocktastic Queen soundtrack Flash Gordon was the perfectly overblown movie for the start of an overblown decade. The costumes are extravagantly cheesy, the effects farcical, the acting hilarious.

Almost every minor character was hammed up to perfection by the cream (or perhaps custard) of character actors of the time including such luminaries as Rocky Horrors Richard O Brien, Phillip "I corrected them" Stone from the Shining and the half-man, half-beast that is Brian Blessed.

The only minor flaw in this popcorn delight is the fact that it is, in almost every way - a terrible, awful movie - I HIGHLY recommend it.