Stridulum

I am relieved to know that other people found The Visitor as confusing as we did. Over the years, whenever my husband and I have had some reason to mention this movie, we always call it "That weird movie with Jesus in a turtleneck." We spent hours afterwards trying to understand the plot; we never got as far as even trying to understand the meaning.

We went to see because it had such a good cast. The previews suggested it had a supernatural theme, which appealed to us. It was a mistake. We should have stayed home and rotated the mattresses.

I can watch really bad movies without a shudder. I even rather like very bad movies. But The Visitor is in a class by itself. It made absolutely no sense - none. I have read that part of the problem is bad editing. I would hope so. I hate to think that so many fine actors would waste their time on this mess as it is.

This oddball midnight movie is getting a re-release and eventual DVD courtesy of the Alamo Drafthouse.

It's about an evil little girl, who is so evil that John Huston and his pacifist army of intergalactic bald yoga practitioners arrive from space to stop her. Meanwhile Lance Henriksen is the evil boyfriend of her clueless, innocent mother, who sold his soul to the satanic forces nurturing her in a Faustian bargain for...a basketball coach position.

Which leads to the early and highly memorable slo-mo basketball set-piece, easily one of the most unique choices of setting for a horror film sequence I've ever seen!

The atmosphere of this weird, weird film alternates between genuinely and oddly poetic (mostly thanks to the music), pure B-movie cheese, and unintentional hilarity. It's one of the strangest films I've ever seen, but that's not a bad thing in this case. If you give yourself over to its strange charms, this is some kind of consciousness-expanding experience.

Will you like it? There are folks who seek out these sorts of bizarre, unique B-movies. You know who you are. At the very least, you should this film an object of curiosity.

Somehow, and for some reason, John Huston, Glenn Ford, Franco Nero (as Jesus Christ), Shelley Winters, Lance Henriksen, Sam Peckinpah, Mel Ferrer and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar are all in this movie.

The plot, as I hopefully understand it, is that Satan (or Sateen, as this film calls him) fathers children with supernatural powers. One of these children is 8 year-old Katy, who has telekinetic powers and a heavy Southern drawl. An intergalactic traveler called The Visitor must battle the child for the fate of the universe....or something like that. There's also some stuff about an evil hawk, some bald aliens, and a crazy-eyed Jesus with a bad blonde wig.

Nonsensical Italian-made claptrap that combines '70s fascinations with the occult and aliens. It's an awful movie that rips off many better movies, made watchable by some striking imagery and interesting casting. John Huston, Lance Henriksen, Sam Peckinpah, Mel Ferrer, Shelly Winters, and Glenn Ford are all in this. That says more about the state of their respective careers at the time than it does about the quality of this production. Incoherent but good for some laughs. Dig that terribly out of place soundtrack, too.

Weird movie, but it appealed to me. It does have plot elements and maybe even scenes that are derivative of other movies, but it puts them in such a strange blend that it comes out pretty original.

The movie opens with an old man on a barren otherworldly surface. It goes from him to a man with his girlfriend and her daughter at a basketball game. He's the team's owner. The editing and music in the scene are odd. The music throughout the movie tends to be incongruously more energetic and dramatic that the scene itself or its context. The young girl lowers her glasses to look one of the players right in the eye. He manages a dunk in the last second, and the ball evidently explodes in fire or light as he does so.

The old man from the opening (I believe he is The Visitor) shows up in an airport carrying a passport where he is met by a man with a shaved head. He's taken to the roof of a skyscraper where there are lots of people wearing identical outfits all with shaved heads carrying up large gray boxes. Later, there are white screens on the roof, behind which people's shadows move.

The basketball team owner has boardroom meetings with mysterious men who are unhappy with him. He is to get married to his girlfriend and have a son, but he is not having much luck with that.

The little girl has a birthday party. She sees the old man there, but maybe he isn't really there. When she opens a box that should contain a toy peacock that talks in a creepy voice (we saw it being bought earlier), it instead has a handgun. She takes it out happily, and throws it on a table, where it goes off, shooting her mother. Her mother is rehabilitated as much as she can be, which is inter-cut with the girl doing gymnastics routines.

The girl's eyes sometimes seem to have a white light in the irises, and she seems to have power over birds. There is a memorable scene with a policeman (who she swears at like a sailor) on a highway when he encounters a bird.

Many more weird scenes follow! The end leaves things a bit of a mystery, to say the least. If your usual horror fare is a remake or the latest installment in a seemingly endless series, best to avoid this one.

I find it hard to believe any U.S. distributor would actually take the time to release this to theaters, though the IMDb says that more than one handled this movie in theatrical release! True, the movie boasts an all-star cast, though looking at their brief screen time, it seems just about all these stars knocked off their scenes in not more than a couple of days.

It must be noted that the U.S. print is cut; I've heard from one source that the Italian print does make somewhat more sense. All I can do is judge this particular cut - which makes NO sense at all! People make schemes that are never explained, weird things happen for seemingly no purpose at all... it's a BIG mess! One example is with Italian superstar Franco Nero, who (because of the editing) only gets to appear for about 30 seconds at the end of the movie!

I will admit that at the very least you can salvage a decent number of unintended laughs. Not only is the movie so insane and incoherent that you can't help but laugh out loud, there are some individual delirious scenes that are wacked-out as well. The skating rink scene... John Huston impersonating a babysitter... John Huston playing pong with the mysterious girl (though it's clear that it's a one player pong game on the TV screen)... Shelley Winters overacting... and more. It's not a constantly hilarious experience, and you're bound to get frustrated to a degree with the garbled storyline, but the experience can't be seen as a total loss as well.