A Touch of the Sun

This film reveals that Edward d wood was a genius auteur after all. Unlike wood's work, this film reveals a total lack of charm, wit, strange beauty and oddball imagination. All prerequisites for a film if it is to be considered to be so bad it's good. This is an embarrassment to all concerned. Absolutely unfunny, unsexy, unimaginative and totally pointless.

Even the feeble special effects don't make you laugh - TV monitors in Mission Control which are supposedly showing rockets in flight are actually just colour photographs glued to the wall - it SHOULD be funny, but it isn't. Just one of the turkeys Reed mugged his way through for the cash. Does anyone know who commissioned this sorry waste of celluloid? AVOID AT ALL COSTS!! I know just writing about it gives it a mystique but I assure you it has none.

A very weird spy/adventure comedy starring Oliver Reed who looks like he's in trance (or more likely drunk) all through the proceedings. Peter Cushing co-stars and tries desperately to be funny. The beautiful Sylvaine Charlet plays a modern-day Mata Hari and has an out-of-the-blue fullfrontal nude scene every fifteen minute or so to keep the audience awake. Wilfred Hyde-White does a sort of cameo (but why??). There's even a brief scene from the b/w "KING KONG"! However the main attraction must be local actor Edwin Mamba (the film was shot in Zambia of all places) who delivers such an outrageously hammy performance that it almost saves the film. Almost.

Now this REALLY is a terrible movie. Badly directed, shabbily edited and boasting some of the cheapest dialogue and worst acting ever committed to celluloid. Why actors like Peter Cushing and Oliver Reed (the latter with a phoney American accent) ever appeared in this load of old rubbish is extremely puzzling. They must have been desperate for work. Director Pete Curran even throws in a bit of gratuitous female nudity just to keep viewers awake.

For some strange reason this diabolical movie (under the title 'No Secrets') is regularly shown on late night British TV, year after year, so somebody, somewhere must love it.

I say, don't go near it!

This is an absolutely awful "comedy" about an African dictator who steals an American space rocket. Various bumbling fools are dispatched to retrieve it. Oliver Reed mugs away embarrassingly in a career low performance (he probably figured that nobody would ever watch it)and is supported by Peter Cushing and Keenan Wynn in equally inept roles. Cushing has been quoted as saying that The Blood Beast Terror was his worst ever movie.... surely not as bad as this, Peter?

The actors have all done some poor movies, as well as some very good ones, but this is perhaps the worst of all. Its sense of humour is so infantile that even 7 year olds would be hard pushed to find any laughs, but it isn't suitable for 7 year olds anyway, as it features some needless full frontal female nudity. Why is there nudity in this film? I don't know. Why are there some good actors in this film? I don't know. Why did this film ever get made? I don't know and I don't care!

I seen this movie years ago on TV. It was called No Secrets then. It's a ridiculous comedy and isn't meant to be taken seriously at all. Give it a watch you won't be disappointed. A hidden gem of a movie.