The Lost Empire

OK, this isn't a good film by any stretch of the imagination but you don't really get it for that do you? I bought it just to see Raven de la Croix as I remember seeing this when a youngster and her being this incredible figure of white on a horse (white star is her character name).

The plot and FX are laughable but the music was surprisingly better than expected almost sounding like the works of John Carpenter.

Unfortunately the film is only a 15 so there's no real sex but the image of Raven in some kind of very short, dream state when she has a snake draped round her neck is mind bendingly erotic and worthy of the purchase price.

This film was featured on German cable for 6 or 7 times during the last few years and tells the story of three Bond-like chicks which get undercover into the army of super-villain Sin Do who threats the world with laser weapons or whatever...

To tell an interesting or demanding plot is a minor matter, because "The Lost Empire" is trash in perfection! The costumes (none of the female "actress" wears one...), the set decoration and the special F/X are more than lousy (even for the 80s standard!) and will remind you sometimes on the old Ed Wood-movies! The film itself however is funny and entertaining from beginning till the end! Two actors are worth to be mentioned: the one is Raven de la Croix, the unforgotten voluminous actress from Russ Meyer´s cult exploitationer "Up!". The other is Angus Scrimm who performs the bad guy and is still well-known for his role as "tall man" from the "Phantasm"-series. The rest of the film is a silly mixture between nude girls, cat fighting scenes and Z-grade action.

In other words: a must-see for every fan of trash-gems and the lovers of cheesy C-movie homages!!!

Jim Wynorski has created his masterpiece with this!!!

Three bosomy babes go undercover to the island of Dr. Sin Do (Angus Scrimm) to find out why Angel's cop brother was murdered by some ninja looking dudes. The diabolical doctor holds a martial arts tournament, but it also using his conquests for slaves to be sold while staying young by drinking their blood. Oh, and he is also looking to gain world power by combining the ancient Eyes of the Avatar stones, one of which just happens to be in Angel's purse. This was director Jim Wynorski's directing debut and it is delight from start to finish. It is incredibly pulpy and definitely has its tongue-in-cheek. The most surprising thing here is all three female leads (Melanie Vincz as Angel, Raven De La Croix as Whitestar, Angela Aames as Heather) are actually really funny in their roles, showing they were on the same page as Wynorski. Of course, seeing as this is Wynorski, you know that the screen will be covered in busty babes who get topless. Hell, his opening shot is a James Bond-style scope that pans across some boobs! He doesn't disappoint and Russ Meyer would be proud. It is such a strong debut for Wynorski that it saddens me that he basically stopped giving a damn 10 years later and now just cranks out generic action and T&A messes. Co- starring Paul Coufos as love interest Rick, Robert Tessier as evil sidekick Koro, and Blackie Dammett (aka Anthony Keidis' pop) as a corrupt cop.

This movie, although a grade 'B, movie.. warrants viewing ... believe me, if you like MST3k videos, you'll like this one even without robotic comments. There's something about the honesty and simplicity of the actresses that makes it a very wholesome movie ... so watch it, or drop out!

Too many people watch films expecting EVERY SINGLE ONE to be Oscar worthy! In fact statistically you will find that most cannot hope to deliver a product at that level! This is one of those films, shall we call them "Friday Night Films". I usually have a gathering of friends round mine on Friday nights (too old to go out on the town nowadays), where we line up 2-3 titles to pass the time. Some weeks are "serious", some not. Last week we watched 12 years a slave, Argo & Munich, the week before it was this, Troll 2 & Hell comes to frogtown...catch my drift? The Lost Empire is a campy, exploitation piece of cinema with copious amounts of nudity, some hopeless "fight" scenes that have to be seen to be believed (especially the wooden shuriken to the back of the head scene), a craptastic villain complete with henchmen and little/no story. The women all look good, especially the 3 leads, but the extras aren't too shabby either! The story requires little/no attention to be paid to the screen throughout, which is exactly what crap film nights are all about, as more time is spent laughing and chatting than watching.

If you're a fan of trash cinema like Death Wish 3, Street Trash, Tromaville films, etc then you really can't go far wrong with this! Enjoy.