Le avventure dell'incredibile Ercole

"Great deeds make us immortal." - "We can't all be so fortunate." Indeed, so this didn't help anyone's career, I presume. Assisted by two young ladies (Milly Carlucci, Sonia Viviani), Hercules looks for the lost 7 thunderbolts of Zeus. One for example is hidden inside an electric fire monster he must hit on the head to cause a short circuit. Hercules flies around in space a lot (this is after all a movie by the director of "Star Crash") and beats monsters painted by a five year old: Rotoscoping at its worst. The only thing I missed in the 80s video game look was a "Game over" text insert. The gods are beamed to Earth in a flash of green light with a squeaking electronic noise. Glowing shapes that reminded me of advertising for washing powder (cleaning ghosts or something like that) attack Hercules, men in rotten rubber costumes do the same - the adversaries look a lot cheaper than those in the first movie which was already abysmal. This sequel is less fun because it is less ambitious. The huge pathos of the first movie, trying to be monumental, is what made it so funny. Here, it's just a quick rehash, much less entertaining.

Lou Ferrigno returns once again in this demented sequel to Luiggi Cozzi's earlier film; And believe it or not, this one is even more brazenly stupid than its predecessor! - Yes, I kid thee not! This time, our hero Herc is called back to earth on a perilous mission to retrieve Zeus's seven magic thunderbolts which have been stolen by some renegade Gods. Aiding our hero is a pretty, busty heroine who bears an uncanny resemblance to pop princess Kylie Minogue(!) - so much so in fact, that during one particular scene, I could have sworn I was watching the video to 'I should be so lucky'.

Um....anyway, in order to collect each of the thunderbolts, our man must first slay each of the monsters 'housing' them. But by gum, if this wasn't bad enough, Herc only has a limited amount of time to complete the task for, due to the cosmic imbalance caused by the absence of the thunderbolts in the heavens, the moon is now on a collision course for earth!!! Yes, the pressure is very much on and wouldn't you know it - just to add EVEN MORE to problems, King Minos from the first film is resurrected - a villain with an especial grudge against our hero after he defeated him previously.

Like its dopey forerunner, this effort makes the monumental mistake of combining ill thought out sci-fi elements with Greek myths - the end result being a bizarre mess and one rife for ridicule. Having said this however, such ridicule is of course the very reason to watch this in the first place; Yes, this is a gloriously bad film which goes down well with excessive alcohol intake.

Best/worst scenes? God, there's so many to poke fun at but undoubtedly the daftest is the final fight between Herc and Minos which takes place in space(!) and during which, both combatants transform themselves into cosmic manifestations i.e. poor looking animations! Bizarrely for reasons best known to himself, Minos transforms into a dinosaur(!) to which our hero immediately responds by transforming himself into a cosmic gorilla(!) Words sadly can't do this utterly ridiculous scene sufficient justice - you simply have to see it to believe it.

Yes, this is a truly terrible film, no two ways about it, but it is however quiet a hoot and is essential viewing for all self respecting bad movie lovers.

More cheesy badly-dubbed greatness from Cannon. This sequel to the classic Hercules has our hero and his humongous pectorals out to recover Zeus' stolen thunderbolts. To do this he must fight guys in ghillie suits and creatures created with poor computer and stop-motion effects. A full day's work for Herc.

Lou Ferrigno is certainly a physical sight to behold and his stone-serious facial expressions at all times makes the movie that much more hilarious because it does not deserve to be taken seriously in the least. Unfortunately, sexy Sybil Danning does not return from the first movie but there are still some scantily-clad Italian babes to feast your eyes on. The special effects are cheap but charmingly so. Love the obsession with neon. The stop-motion Medusa appears to be made from Play-Doh. Lots of bad but quotable lines coming from voices that are clearly not those of the actors. Look, it's glorious garbage of a movie but there's a good deal of fun to be had laughing at it. I'll take unintended entertainment over no entertainment any day.

From the fertile imagination which brought you the irresistible HERCULES (1983), comes its even more preposterous (read goofier) sequel: right off the bat, we get another unwieldy "beginning of time" prologue which even contrives to completely contradict these same events as set up in the first film!; a condensed montage of highlights from same is soon followed by a SUPERMAN-like scrolling credits sequence. Narrative-wise, here we have four rebellious gods who steal Zeus' seven all-important (but poorly animated) thunderbolts – a crime which, for one thing, sets the moon careening on a collision course with Planet Earth! Faster than you can say "nepotism", Zeus (once again played as a white-haired bearded man by the relatively young Claudio Cassinelli) sends his champion – who has now rightfully taken his place among the elite thanks to, one presumes, the almighty tasks performed in the first film – to find his blooming thunderbolts and avert the calamities in store.

No sooner has Hercules (Lou Ferrigno – as if you didn't know) touched the earthly surface that he comes in contact with two attractive damsels (Milly Carlucci and Sonia Viviani) in need of his getting them out of distress!; the former (who would go on to become an Italian TV personality) seemingly has the ability to talk with the Little People(!) – which look uncannily like the tiny sisters from GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA (1964)!! Just so they can swindle as much unutilzed footage from the first film as is humanly possible, the divine quartet of villains resurrect good ol' King Minos (William Berger again) from his skeletal slumber and pit him once more against his eternal enemy. Typically, Hercules is made to encounter a number of potentially deadly foes including a Gorgon – an awfully underproduced sequence which ought to have led to a surefire plagiarism suit had the film-makers behind the much superior CLASH OF THE TITANS (1981) bothered to watch this flick (complete with the same "reflection in a shield" come-uppance and preceded by the muscleman letting the audience in on his tactics before executing them as if to show us how clever he is)!! And just to make it crystal clear that he wears his influences on his sleeve, Cozzi has Hercules and Minos turn into a cosmic version of "King Kong vs. Godzilla" for one of their battles and later still, Hercules gets to grips with a large snake, an encounter lifted straight out of the classic 1933 original. I swear it: this is the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

As had been the case with the first film, the cast is full of old reliables like the afore-mentioned Berger, Cassinelli and Venantino Venantini (as a sorcerer with a truly bad hair day) and up-and-coming starlets – not just Carlucci but also Maria Rosaria Omaggio (as a younger Hera!), Serena Grandi, Pamela Prati and, once again, Eva Robbins (whose costume here easily outcamps her appearance in the first film); for what it's worth, Pino Donaggio's score for this one is recycled from musical cues featured in his soundtrack for the previous film. If you have stuck with this review so far, you must have realized by now that this is one of those movies that is so unbelievably bad that a reviewer is forced to choose which course to take: either dismiss it in one unflattering sentence or spend an undeserving amount of time dissecting its flaws. I'm sure I've left out some of its ineptitudes but I wouldn't forgive myself if I failed to mention the single greatest laugh-out loud instance in the whole movie which almost made me fall off my chair (yes, it even surpassed the afore-mentioned animated titanic duel for me), namely the décor of the rebellious gods' lair which is in the shape of a giant marble…kettle!!

At this stage, one might well wonder why I gave this film (and its predecessor) a rating instead of a (not entirely unjustified) BOMB; in the past, I've had various protracted online discussions on whether one's star rating of any particular film should reflect the overall artistic quality or its sheer entertainment value… but these are two instances where I deemed it necessary to be consciously influenced by the latter in settling on my final rating. I don't know: maybe it's because I'm in a "sword-and-sandal" state-of-mind at the moment (with some 10 more respectable examples scheduled for the coming days!) but, after all, uncharacteristically for me, I decided to add these two films to my DVD collection simply based on the fun I had with them in this recent revisit – and that alone must count for something, no?

The first "Hercules" (1983) by Luigi Cozzi was a completely incomprehensible psychedelic disjointed mess, unrivaled by any swords & sorcery outing at the time (though I have to admit Lucio Fulci's "Conquest" comes mighty close). In 1985 the unthinkable happens: "Hercules" gets a sequel. And fans of the first one will not be disappointed, because it delivers the same brand of incoherent over-the-top extravagant entertainment as the first film did. You'll be scratching your head numerous times once again with what all kind of adventures our muscular mythical hero gets into this time. Between all the mind-boggling shenanigans, a fairly simple plot can be spotted: The gods send Hercules (once again played by Lou "Hulk" Ferrigno) back to earth again, for he has to locate & reclaim the Seven Thunderbolts, which have been stolen by other more evil gods. Hercules never really has to search for them; he's simply lead on one "mission" after another, battling various creatures (amongst them some fierce & ridiculous-looking mud-zombie things and even one of the Gorgons, a sister of Medusa) alongside two beautiful babes. Every time he defeats a creature, he'll find one of the Seven Thunderbolts within. For some reason the villainous King Minos (William Berger, reprising his role from the first film) gets resurrected by the evil gods too, only to decide he wants those Seven Thunderbolts for himself. Or well, something like that. Or just see him blabbering on about science being the way of all things. The final battle between King Minos & Hercules (in space!) has to be seen to be believed (lots of flashy animated effects, including a giant gorilla vs. dinosaur). If I wouldn't know any better, I'd say both "Hercules" movies were conceived & produced under the influence of some very strong LSD, because that's what they look like: a wondrously cuckoo fantasy trip on acid. Italians making films in the '80s; you gotta love 'em.