Future-Kill

FUTURE-KILL! Holy crap, I revisited this one last night and was shocked at the disconnect between my childhood memories of it and reality. I thought it was cutting edge stuff at the time, but it is just awful. The setting is a futuristic Austin, TX (I assume, they never say) where a gang of painted up punks protest nuclear armament. A bunch of college frat guys head down to the ghetto to play a prank on them, but end up running into radiation-mutated Splatter (Edwin Neal, TCM's Hitchhiker). Splatter kills pacifist anti-nuke leader Eddie during a scuffle and blames it on the frat boys. After that, the film is THE WARRIORS with a $50 budget as they kids try to escape and get help from sympathetic punks including Dorothy Grim (Marilyn Burns). From 30-year-old frat guys to laughable punks, director Ronald Moore gets everything wrong. One would think the re-teaming of CHAINSAW stars Burns and Neal would lead to some interesting moments, but the film has none.

"Future-Kill," with its menacingly hyphenated title and H.R. Giger-esquire (turns out Giger himself actually did it) box art, was a film of quasi-mythic cult attraction in the time of VHS. Its real claim to any sort of notoriety? The participation of two actors from "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (Edwin Neal and Marilyn Burns, the latter of which basically has an extended cameo). I rented the film years ago for that very reason, and didn't find it great, but didn't hate it, either; at best, it felt like a semi-coherent mix of "Porky's," "Repo Man," and the early works of Sam Raimi. After viewing it a second time, I can genuinely say I liked the film. While the current DVD version (via Subversive) doesn't perform any alchemy on the film's murky cinematography (it's essentially a port-over of the old VHS), it adds to a strangely nostalgic feel for '80s "No Nukes" protests, New Wave fashions (gotta love the Bowie-esquire eye makeup!), and no-taboo sex comedies that weren't afraid to show a lot of skin. Director/co-writer Ronald Moore has crafted an erratic, borderline-amateur feature that starts like one of the endless rip-offs of "Animal House" (pampered frat guys spurn a rival frat leader), abruptly shifts into a variant on "Escape from New York" (frat guys run afoul of a radiation-poisoned psychotic, aptly named Splatter (Neal), and even finds time to reflect on the socio-economic differences between the bourgeois frat guys and the urban "mutants" looking to live nuke-free (with the final conclusion being that neither is all that different). While Moore's directorial flourishes are minimal, the periodic use of muted slow motion during violent scenes seems to tie in with the film's contradictorily anti-violent philosophy, and is employed to good effect; and while the frat guys aren't very well-defined, some are allowed to develop as characters, to the point where the suspenseful climax actually carries a surprising (albeit low-grade) impact. While "Future-Kill"'s philosophy might not be the most thought-out, and while it may not be a model of superior film-making, it should be given credit for at least attempting to go about its slaughter with some semblance of brainpower. (The funky vintage synth score also deserves a shout-out.)

I picked up Future Kill because of the Giger artwork on the box and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre alumni in hopes that it would be good crappy film (you know, like Ghoulies 3). What I got was a hybrid of genres, and something that I had already seen when I was younger. Look at the storyline: A group of teens running from a gang in the city because they have been framed for murder. It wanted to be a futuristic version of the Warriors so bad (it even starred someone who was featured in The Warriors). It's certainly no Warriors or anything to write home about, but it's not as bad as you'd think. With no budget whatsoever the filmmakers actually made a credible feature. It never once gets boring and the characters are fun to laugh at. What was up with the beginning though? It's like they were trying to make the next Porky's and then realized that the movie was titled "Future Kill." It doesn't really fit with the rest of the flick. I couldn't really decide whether the movie was sci-fi, horror, or comedy, but it does star Edwin Neal and Marilyn Burns from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and features Bill Johnson who played Leatherface in TCM 2. With that cast, how could it not be a horror movie? But the real question is, why is one of the alternate title Night of the Alien?

Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Future-Kill; here's the breakdown of my ratings:

Story: 0.50 Direction: 1.25 Pace: 0.50 Acting: 0.50 Enjoyment: 0.75

TOTAL: 3.50 out of 10.00.

Future-Kill is one of those IMDb-listed films where you have to query the genres listed. Sci-Fi - just: Adventure - not quite: Comedy - NO! - not unless the awful acting, dire dialogue, feeble FX, and mad makeup give you a fit of the giggles.

Writer and director Ronald W Moore delivers a stinky wet fish of a story to the audience. There's nothing new or eye-opening in the narrative. However, there was an obvious opportunity at the start of the movie to make the story more powerful and emotional. Unluckily for the poor viewing public, Moore chose not to pursue this fascinating avenue. Instead, he opts to tell the tale of a group of frat boys taking their pranks to a new level by kidnapping a mutant from their part of the town. Of course, frats are not known for their wisdom: I mean, what could go wrong? Well, a mutant leader gets killed, and our lucky lads are in the area to get framed for the murder. Now the boys are on the lamb from the rest of the muties: Who, in turn, are hunting their pretty norm arses. This plot should've been engaging and thrilling. Sadly, Moore is unskilled at creating the atmosphere to entice and engage the viewer. His dialogue is trite and cringeworthy. The characters are so flat you could use them as the perfect ironing board. And it's here that the opportunity reared its head. Splatter is the lead villain. However, in the opening scene, we see him chatting with another member of the group he's associated with, and it's a non-violent group. This scene shows Splatter is attempting to go straight. Now imagine how much better the story would've been to display his inner conflict in addition to his basic compulsion to hurt people. But, as I stated before, Moore didn't possess the skills to make it happen - just look at his bog-standard stereotypical frat boys. The severe lack of individual personalities definitely adds to the yawn factor - and yes, I nearly fell asleep watching this flick.

Moore doesn't improve when he moves behind the camera. Though you can see that he's endeavouring to make the picture more engaging by employing lighting, colour, and compositional shots, he never entirely makes it work. I would put down his unfortunate miscarriages on the terrible script and his lack of skill at pacing a film. The dullness originates from his capacity to hold a shot in frame for too long. And there are too many of these. One of the worst, and the best example, is when the frats are sitting around discussing their plans. The dialogue is claptrap, and the performers appear to know that as they put in one of their most shoddy performances. However, Moore does his best. He uses upward angles and close-ups to add interest, but he holds them too long. There's a segment where one guy on the sofa is gabbling away, for a good minute or two, before his friend replies. He filmed the two minutes plus conversation from one position low to the floor at an upward angle. The screen showed everyone sitting around, hardly moving. It is the worst scene in the film. Regrettably, there are many similar overly-long scenes in Future-Kill.

The cast is a mixed bag. Each of the performers has their problems throughout the picture. Not one of them delivers a stable or entirely credible performance. However, this drawback may stem from either the script, which is poor, or the director, who isn't totally on top of his game; but in this case, I believe it's the lack of talent on the performers' part. It doesn't help matters much when you consider that most frat boys are way too old. A couple of them even possess a reclining hairline. Didn't Moore know any teens, or had he merely given the parts to friends and family?

All in all, Future-Kill is a dull dud of a Sci-Fi Action film. Every fan of the genre should steer well clear of this flick. Unless you're looking for a cure for insomnia, then feel free to give it a try...oh, and pleasant dreams.

I may be an aggressive a-hole of a mutant, but I'm trying my best. But By God, if you don't read my IMDb lists - Absolute Horror, Killer Thriller Chillers, and The Final Frontier to see where I rated Future-Kill, I swear I'll rip your head off and (Expletives redacted for the sake of human decency. Please think kindly of your fellow man, be they mutant or otherwise.)

Take Care & Stay Well.

The best part of this movie.... the cover art created by H.R Giger

I got sucked in by the cover when it first came out and I was to STOOOPID not to watch it!

Do spend time looking at Giger art if you aren't familiar with him.