Creature - Il mistero della prima luna

I have fond memories of "Creature (aka Titan Find)" and I can't deny it. I like it so much, I even want to rate it much higher than 4/10, so I'll just go ahead and do it. I saw it for the first time around the approximate age of 12-13 on a strangely compiled theatrical triple horror bill in one of my two hometown cinemas (together with Lamberto Bava's "Demons" and the Charlie Sheen vehicle "The Wraith"), so it's safe to say "Creature" left a life-long impression on me. Many years later now, I can still say that it is one of the best and most enjoyable "Alien" rip-offs ever produced (judged by cash-in standards, naturally). Sure it's a B-movie with anything but great acting... but there's gore (a wonderful head explosion!), nudity (horny naked undead blonde chick without a spacesuit while she was supposed to wear one), a nice-looking (though pretty rubbery) slimy creature-suit design with red glowing eyes, mind-controlling parasites, nifty-looking miniature spacecrafts and... Klaus Kinski as a German astronaut clearly having a lot of fun on the set and ignoring any guidelines from director William Malone. If you haven't grown up during the 80's & 90's getting acquainted with this type of sci-fi & horror movies, you might have a hard time getting into "Creature" and enjoying its dubious pleasures. Not to say: you're very likely to lack any form of appreciation for this type of (sub)genre cinema at all. I say it's great fun. Even a bit scary and atmospheric in some parts where it actually tries to be so, but that's maybe the kid still in me speaking. Yes, having watched "Creature" at a too young age in a big & dark old theatre, I can say it was a tense ride at the time. Does it matter that it's not anymore? Nah, it remains fun all the same. If you ever discovered it as a kid, that is.

My reaction to hearing about Creature, "Klaus Kinski in a creature feature? Count me in, baby!" My reaction after watching Creature, "Ehhh, sh!t."

The story of Creature revolves around dueling spaceship companies (haha) who end up discovering on Saturn's moon, Titan, a creature who's been in slumber for over 2,000 centuries. That's alotta snoozin. So obviously when this creature wakes up it's gonna be hungry as hell. And low and behold it is. The crew discover that the German Spaceship Company has touched down before they have, and when they land they also learn that may have been a godsend. Because they're all dead. Well, besides Klaus. He managed to stay alive. Yay! Well, Kinksi, the romantic waitress from Pee Wee's Big Adventure and the rest of the American Spacemen are trying to figure out to get off this rock and survive the Creature's wrath while doing so.

Didn't I just make that sound awesome? No? Oh. Well, like my summary the movie isn't very awesome either. But it's not totally worthless. Klaus in his minuscule screen-time plays his part in a pretty likable way. The gore though not a lot wasn't that bad, the sets were pretty good but too dark, and the cheesy writing and decision making were enough to make you smile. The ending especially was chock full of stupidity. Anyways, all these ingredients made a decently cheesy flick. Oh, it was a tad too long as well.

I have to leave my biggest qualm (word of the day) for the end of his utterly pathetic review. The Creature was a total disappointment. By the looks of it on the cover it looks like a freak monster ant-eater type thing. And it's cool. But when it's on camera it didn't shine at all. To make matters worse here the creature may possibly be the slowest villain in history of capable villains. Jason does that slowass walk thing but he manages to keep up. This thing literally takes 2 second steps, but still it manages to keep right up. There was one scene where they had the Creature in the distance trudging forward while the guy's screaming "Hurry up!". The dude's freaking out for no reason because the creature probably made about 3 feet in all the time he was panicking.

What a stupid review, huh? Anyways, if you like Alien ripoffs, Klaus Kinski, that chick from Pee Wee's Big Adventure, little bits of nudity and gore then check out Creature.

Of course, this isn't a very good movie. In fact, it's pretty bad but I'm a whole different kind of movie-critic when I watch movies like this. Everybody needs some brainless and fun films to relax from time to time and William Malone's Creature is the perfect film for that. Creature is an shameless ripoff of Alien and it also stole several elements from John Carpenter's The Thing, but I hardly think that's a reason to ignore it completely. From the beginning of this picture you can easily point out those characters who're going to die but that's ok. You stay in your seat just to see in wich horrible ways they come to an end. These are the moments that make this film worth watching. Especially if you like a good share of blood, guts and gore. I tell you, some of the scenes are rated pretty high on the "vomit-scale". So, if you like to see heads flying around and love to see faces being ripped off...Creature is your cup of tea. All together, there are 2 major reasons to check this film out. The first one is the amazingly good musical score. I wasn't able so far to find out who made it, but I don't think they're big names in the field seeing the status of this flick. The score was a pleasant surprise and worth checking out. And last but not least... KLAUS KINSKI !! This guy is ( was...sorry ) a great actor. Without even trying he beats all the other acting-performances. Klaus clearly amused himself while playing the role of Hans Rudy Hofner and his own German accent really works here. I expected his role to be a little bigger but that's ok, the few times he's on screen are the most memorable ones. But it ain't really a big honor to be the best actor in this cast, though. All the others suck pretty bad. Wendy Schaal is very cute in her role of Beth but she can't act very well. That's ok, the girl who plays Susan can't act at all and above that she looks like David Bowie did during the 80's...and that's NOT a compliment !! I'm not even bothering to mention the rest of the cast. Oh, there is one last thing worth checking out on Creature. The very very stupid confession of Mrs. Bryce (Diane Salinger)at the end ...man, that's got to be the most ridiculous plot-twist I ever saw!! I laughed silly with that....4 out of 10

The main problem with this movie is the poor photography. It's just too dark. I'm guessing the darkness was used to hide the low budget set pieces. The other problem is slow pacing, but the decent gore keeps you watching.

The big question I had: what is Klaus Kinski doing in this thing? Just three years earlier he was in 'Fitzcarraldo'. What happened? That would be like Tom Hanks going from 'Forest Gump', to three years later starring in 'Leprechaun 4: In Space'.

The director of the creature feature SCARED TO DEATH (1980) returns to familiar territory with this monster(s)-in-space flick; one of many similar films released in between the hits ALIEN (1979) and ALIENS (1986). Some time in the near future, rival corporations Richter Dynamics (out of Germany) and NTI (out of the U.S.) are competing for new materials to advance their manufacturing technologies. A geological research team stationed on Titan, Saturn's largest moon, runs into trouble in the form of a vicious alien creature, who makes short work of the team. Not long after, an alien-controlled ship flies directly into the space station Concord and blows it up. Suspecting an other worldly force is perhaps responsible, a seven- member group of volunteers from NTI - headed by corporate honcho David Perkins (Lyman Ward) - hope to make the archaeological discovery of the century by discovering alien life on Titan.

Upon approaching their destination, Captain Mike Davison (Stan Ivar) is forced to crash land their ship, the Shenandoh. Suffering extensive ship damage and facing a quickly-dwindling oxygen supply, the crew set out to get help from a German ship stationed nearby but discover it littered with the corpses of the crew. A big, blood-thirsty creature soon pops in for a visit and makes short work of crew-woman Susan (Marie Laurin). And that large, somewhat awkwardly-designed alien isn't the only odd creature inhabiting the planet. Outside, they stumble across the remains of a crashed alien ship and it was hauling a collection of different alien life forms; some of which are still living. One species is able to use "collective intelligence" to impersonate its victims to lure the others to their doom, which mechanic John (Robert Jaffe) soon finds out first hand when the dead "Susan" pays him a visit and strips off her clothes. And then something truly weird and terrifying happens: Klaus Kinski shows up. Ahhhh!

Kinski's character - Hans Rudy Hofner - is the sole survivor of the German expedition, and he acts extremely weird and hilarious childish and giddy as if he's not taking a second of this seriously explaining that the aliens have "vaited fer dem fer two tousan zenturres." I've watched three Kinski movies this past month and in all three of them he plays a character who grabs one of the female cast members and then squeezes their breasts! The victim this time out is Diane Salinger, who plays a potentially fun character - a tough security officer - but, like Klaus, she's not given enough to do and vanishes from a large portion of the film. Most of the action centers around the two male leads and the cute Wendy Schall (who now voices the mom of the animated series "American Dad"), who plays some kind of electronics expert.

Overall, this is a watchable, albeit clichéd and wholly forgettable, movie. The script is generic but otherwise it's well-made, the cast, art direction and special effects are all competent and there's some nudity and some gore, including a face getting ripped off, an exploding body and a female doctor (Annette McCarthy) getting her head ripped off. But at the end of the day, it's really nothing more than a passable time waster. I guess there are worse things.

Despite being pretty mediocre overall, this 750K-budgeted film ended up becoming quite profitable; making back its entire budget opening weekend alone in less than 200 theaters. As a reference point, Tobe Hooper's messy LIFEFORCE, released just a few months later the same year, didn't even make back half its huge 25 million budget in 1500+ theaters.