Commando

John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) was an elite special op who is now retired living in his mountain home with his daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano). His men are getting killed one by one. One of his former group Bennett (Vernon Wells) joins warlord Arius (Dan Hedaya) to start a coup in his home country. They kidnap Jenny to force John Matrix to fly down to that country to assassinate the president. However he escapes from the flight to track down Jenny with the help of Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong) who he grabs at the airport.

The best thing about this movie is that it doesn't take its time to get started. The action gets going right away. The bad guy has barely gotten one line out about his kidnapped daughter before he gets a bullet in his head. It's all action from Schwarzenegger. There is no negotiations. He delivers some delicious one-liners. The most memorable is "Remember Sully when I promised to kill you last? I lied!!". And who could forget the Jamaican steel drum music. It's just a fun movie.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the embodiment of 80s-90s muscle-man action cinema, an era we can now look back on with nostalgia, mostly for its unabashed mixture of macho ultra violence and out-of-control kitsch. It's interesting to note that the Austrian Titan's first great commercial disappointment - Last Action Hero - was a parody of the genre he dominated. How do you parody parody itself? The man's best films, the first two Terminator films and Predator, rise above that, but most of his work is inches from being one big spoof.

While you can't parody the genre outright, you can take it to its extreme, and I'm not sure what Commando is or who it was meant for, but that's what it does. Schwarzenegger's John Matrix (a typical Austrian name, that) lives a life of mono parental bliss with daughter Jennie (or, as he calls Alyssa Milano, "Tchainee") until she is kidnapped and he is forced to throw all his retired killing machine skills into saving her.

We can run through the ingredients, it's actually worth it for once: - Body fascination. The film never hesitates to glory on Schwarzenegger's body, and while he isn't showing off with impossible feats (carrying a tree or busy phone booth) he just sits there, bare-chested, for the camera. - Homo-erotic subtext. If it's that in-your-face, it can't really be subtext. Beside the fact that this is probably an affront to gays everywhere, the tension between Ahnuld and main villain Bennett would be interesting if it weren't for... well... Bennett himself. I'd describe the world's most ill-conceived blockbuster villain for you, but I'd rather not ruin the surprise. Just youtube "Last Fight Scene - Matrix vs Bennett". - Gratuitous violence. Not much blood here, but every bullet that grazes the floor creates its own explosion. And the stunt-work reaches miraculous levels of retardation. - "Clever" One-liners. If that's your thing, you're in for a real treat. - Outrageous music: oh boy, you can't imagine... - Sexy but severely underused damsel in distress. Underused? We wish. Sexy, not quite.

It's hard to even rate this film. It makes for a delirious group viewing experience, but then again, nobody could ever honestly call it a good a film. And unlike True Lies, another very silly film, this hasn't aged gracefully at all, hence much of its "charm" is down to nostalgia. It's the only way to forgive the film's confounding technical ineptitude (the number of goofs and continuity disasters sets a record).

You have to see it to believe it. Then again, maybe not. Just check out the wildest bits and watch Predator instead.

Thank you YouTube!

Commando is directed by Mark L. Lester and written by Jeph Loeb, Matthew Weisman and Steven E. de Souza. It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Dan Hedaya, Vernon Wells, James Olson, David Patrick Kelly, Alyssa Milano and Bill Duke. Music is by James Horner and cinematography by Matthew F. Leonetti.

John Matrix (Schwarzenegger) is the former leader of a special commando strike force that always got the toughest jobs done. He is forced back into action when his young daughter (Milano) is kidnapped by kingpin criminal Arius (Hedaya) and his gang of thugs. They want Matrix to carry out an assassination, but all Matrix has on his mind is to save his daughter - he has half a day to do so before the thugs will kill her - so it's now a private war...

After playing "Conan" and "The Terminator", Schwarzenegger slipped into a role that would prove to carry all the hallmarks of the big man's action movie career. Commando is awash with outrageous action, pure carnage and gruesome deaths, plenty of quippy one liners, and of course over the top villains.

Clocking in at just 90 minutes in length, it's the perfect "leave the brain at the door" popcorn crowd pleaser. Chong gets a well written lead lady part, giving us a spunky heroine who evolves as the plot grows ever more chaotic, and young Milano gets to play a resourceful child character.

High art it is not, but who cares if you want to just watch Arnie waylay a whole army on his own. Great fun. 7/10

When I was growing up, I had two heroes on the big screen. One was Rambo and the other was Indiana Jones. They were two relentless characters that would never stop, never give up and their tenacity was stuff that kids or teens would swear by. When we were playing adventure games those were the two characters that always got chosen to play first. But the same year that Rambo II came out, a new hero was born. We all knew who Arnold was, he was the Terminator. But when Commando was released, one of my best friends said to me, " Hey Dan, I think this guy could take Rambo." After all Matrix says to Cook, " I eat green berets for breakfast and right now I'm very hungry!" I would maybe have to concur. Matrix was the toughest man alive ( until MacGyver came out ). And Commando is one of the best memories that I have as a young man growing up in the 80's. Besides it being a damn fine, fun movie, it also has two other elements that began to teach me about film. First a young Bill Paxton was in it and secondly I began to notice the name Joel Silver. He is the producer extraordinaire that is the man behind hits like Die Hard, Predator, Weird Science and more recently The Matrix. Now I look for his name in the producers chair and when he is on that poster as producer, I'll run to that movie.

Commando doesn't pretend to be something that it's not. The Rambo character was more into politics and it took itself a little more seriously than Commando did and that's fine. But this film is nothing but entertainment. It starts fast and violent and it ends hard and violent. You think Rambo kills a lot in Rambo, then count the bodies in this one. But it is so much fun because not only does Arnold have fun with it, but the script, as cheesy as it may seem is actually brilliant. Arnold's one liners are now a staple of his film persona and I think you can look at this film as the root of that persona. For example " Any carry on luggage? " the stewardess asks Arnold, " Just him," he replies pointing at the thug that is escorting him onto the plane. After he beats the hell out of Bill Duke he says, " We'll take Cooks car, he won't be needing it." And of course, to Bennett when they are about to fight mano a mano, "Come on Bennett, let's party!" Commando is littered with small moments like that you won't soon forget. It has stayed with me for 15 years and me and my friends rent it every now and again to laugh and cheer. If this a film that you haven't seen yet, then do so. If you haven't seen this film in quite a while, you should treat yourself to it. It is fun fun and more fun. And this is the first film that Arnold reprises his famous line " I'll be back!" So what's not to like about it?

'Commando (1985)' is slightly camp, a bit cheesy and ever so slightly sub-par and it knows it. This action flick aims solely for that 'turn-your-brain-off' guilty pleasure crowd and hits its mark dead-on. It's hard to watch without a smile on your face. Though it is silly - even stupid at times - and incredibly over-the-top, it is also ostentatious, or just toeing that line, which means you can laugh with the picture rather than at it. You do get the undeniable sense that a cringe-worthy one-liner combined with an outlandish, infinite-ammo action-sequence is just kind of awesome. 6/10.