Blood Beat

You could call Blood Beat a slasher film, but that would be too easy. It might have all the trappings of one (mostly one secluded location, a sword twirling villain, a decent body count), but it marches to the beat of its own wonky drummer.

I'm not saying Blood Beat is good, but nothing this unique and odd can be totally bad. I was riveted from start to finish, so it must have done something right. Mostly, I just couldn't believe my eyes. I found it all rather well shot and appealing looking and the addition of a Japanese samurai as a villain is certainly not something you see a lot of. There's also an incredibly odd sequence (in this movie? Shocker!) where a young woman's masturbation seems to beacon the killer to her location. It sorta felt like a similar moment in High Tension.

Blood Beat is a hard one to recommend, because everyone's threshold for strange, artsy trash is different, but it's worth giving a shot. You might enjoy it.

Bloodbeat is an odd tale about a brother and sister who come home for Christmas...only to end up fighting for their lives in a battle of light vs darkness.

The kids grew up hunting deer with their father, but their mother is a psychic artist, sorceress and prophetess, who paints what she forsees.

Thus, when her son brings home his new girlfriend for Christmas, to meet the family, she senses that something isn't right with her.

They make the mistake of bringing the girl deer hunting with them.

Where she ends up freaking out and running away...right into the path of a dying man.

Later that night, she has a dreams of finding a suit of samurai armour in a chest.

Now, every time she gets riled up- or has an orgasm- this rogue samurai comes to life...and attempts to hunt down and kill any and all of the deer hunters who happen to be in the vicinity.

After killing all of the neighbours...the ghost turns his sights on the family itself.

The mother- having been privy that something was awry- tries to intervene, and use her magic to stop the entity.

But it's vengeful spirit is just too powerful.

It's not until the two siblings combine their powers- which they have inherited from their mother- that they are able to stop this dark ronin once and for all.

The film doesn't do a very good job of explaining exactly who the ronin is, where it came from, why it was attached to the boy's girlfriend, or where the mother had "seen (the girl) before", despite those being central elements to the plot.

It all just kind of goes down...and then ends.

So you're left kind of confused in the end, other than, perhaps, to read into it, that the ronin is the devil, who, for some reason, has become attached to the girl, so as to attack this family that possesses powerful spiritual abilities.

But, really, that's all just reasoned speculation, based on a few subtle elements of the storyline.

It's not the worst supernatural Christmas slasher out there, but, they certainly could have done a better job developing the plot structure a little better...

4.5 out of 10.

I was quite surprised by this movie. Obviously it was made with no money at all, but acting, photography, editing and story are well done. Proves once more you can do an entertaining movie with very little. "Blood Beat" owes a bit to "Poltergeist", "Witchboard" and "The Shining" maybe, but has a good storyline of its own about the ghost of evil (dressed up as a samurai warrior, also incarnated in one young lady) against a family whose members seem to have a certain talent for (good) magic. The special FX to show the magic (red powerlines vs blue powerlines) look ridiculous by today's standards, but hey, this is just a cheap little horror movie to waste a Sunday afternoon with, okay? The movie has a couple of memorable scenes (e.g. the samurai slaying the older woman, while the possessed young lady is getting more and more "excited", I thought the rapid cutting was breathtaking). If you see a copy on a probably dusty shelf, give it a try, as the video tape will be cheap I bet.

A family's Christmas reunion gets off to a bad start when the son brings home his girlfriend, leading to an awkward feeling of deja-vu between her and the boy's psychic mother. Weird things begin happening, the weirdest of which happens to be the presence of a glowing samurai warrior who's murderous tendencies appear to be linked to the girlfriend's orgasms.

"Bloodbeat" is one of the more bizarre films you could ever see. What we have here is a slasher shot in Wisconsin by a French director with a ghostly samurai as the killer. It's actually pretty effective for the first two thirds of the running time, particularly a creepy home invasion and ensuing chase. Through some splendid editing, this sequence is interspersed with the girlfriend's writhing and upward-thrusting in bed. It's also undeniably cool seeing a samurai as the villain in a slasher. During the final third, however, the film veers off in an unsatisfying direction with over-the-top antics and ridiculous special effects. Disappointing, but not enough to ruin the film for me. Oh yeah, excessive overuse of violin chords too.

So, following the very much perfect Deadly Games, things took a turn for the weird, but I couldn't really say bad. Now, let me preface my review by saying that Blood Beat is one of the weirdest films that I have ever seen in my life.

From the extremely awkward close ups, to the really awful dialogue, to the terribly loud classical music that pretty much conceals any real words coming from the actors, to some really weird female orgasms, to a Japanese samurai killer, this is all just really weird.

The plot, from what I could tell was this: A brother and sister return from college to visit their parents in Wisconsin. The family is very fond of deer-hunting by the way. Anyways, the brother decides to bring home his girlfriend to stay with him at his parent's house. As soon as the girlfriend meets the mother, she gets this really peculiar look on her face. The mother starts to become really erratic, draws really abstract paintings, and becomes mentally unstable. She somehow can see that the girlfriend is evil, even though she is actually really sweet. The girlfriend is creeped out by the mother. Regardless, a samurai ghost starts to kill people throughout the area. And whenever the ghost kills people, the girlfriend gets a massive orgasm that practically makes her levitate.

Like I am not even kidding. Whenever the ghost stabs someone with the sword, the girlfriend has the most incredible orgasm that people could only dream to have. Like what in the actual hell? It was so weird, but was kind of cool too? Anyways, the samurai ghost causes the house to have an earthquake, people start dying, the family obtains really weird mind-trick powers (that have horrid special effects), and an epic mystical fight between the mother and the girlfriend happen.

Now, this may sound confusing. But I would try to urge you to watch the film, because it was one of the most unique cinematic experiences I have ever had. The filmmaking wasn't bad at all (except for the cheesy effects), but the acting, although horrendous, was probably intentional. Nothing made sense at all, but it was highly entertaining.

While many people left the theater, about thirty of us remained, and we laughed, loudly expressed our happiness or anger, and ultimately had a blast. I have never screamed out "WHAT?!" in the theater so many times in my life. It was so weird and made no sense, but it was totally enjoyable.

I would highly recommend this to anyone who wants to enter a cinematic void, and escape the mass amounts of horrendous blockbusters that consume every AMC theater. Also, if you enjoy female orgasms from ghost samurais stabbing people with their sword, then here you go.

PS: Despite how horrendous the special effects were, I will rest my case that it beats a lot of modern CGI, especially in Justice League.