La regina dei barbari

An incredibly cheesy contribution to the Sword & Sorcery genre starring the late Lana Clarkson, Héctor Oliviera's "Barbarian Queen" of 1985, is a film that is absolutely ridiculous in almost any aspect, but that shouldn't be missed by anyone who can enjoy the cheesier kind low-budget trash flicks. From a mainstream point of view, Sword & Sorcery (& Boobs) flicks such as this one may be, but they can be so much fun to watch when they're not taken too seriously. "Barbarian Queen" might be described as an unintentional comedy, but it's pretty clear that the funny aspects were at least semi-intentional as the film never takes itself too seriously. I personally can't help it - I love films of this kind, cheesy and amateurish as they may be, and always have a good time watching them.

This little film's thin plot in particular tells the story of 'Barbarian Queen' Amethea (Lana Clarkson) who, together with a few other busty female warriors, decides to free her tribe from slavery and tyranny after their village has been razed to the ground by a ruthless tyrant. It's been stated that this is set in the times of the Roman empire, but the villains really have nothing Roman about them, I'd say the movie is set in a typical, undefinable Sword'n'Sorcery fantasy time, some of the folks look like medieval knights, others like Barbarians from more ancient times...

The whole movie is quite similar to an earlier Lana Clarkson movie, "Deathstalker" of 1983, In which she played a role that was almost the same as in this one. I personally enjoyed Deathstaker more, since it was gorier and the shlock factor was at times even higher, but "Barbarian Queen" is definitely also recommended if you're looking for enjoyable trash and a good laugh. The acting is, unsurprisingly, god-awful, and the set pieces sometimes make you wonder whether the hilarious flaws are really unintentional. "Barbarian Queen" delivers cheaply made but entertaining gore effects and a good amount of sleaze and a busty female cast that gets topless every five minutes.

"Barbarian Queen" may be anything but a masterpiece, but B-Movie and Exploitation fans like myself should enjoy it. Just don't expect anything that anyone who has read the title and seen the poster wouldn't anyway.

I had a theory about movies. For every two minutes of Bad movie you need one minute of Nudity to make it watchable. This movie puts that theory to the test, and disproves it with a glorious vigor.

I think most every female in this movie was topless for the majority of it. The story is milk toast, but what I found the most absurd is just how bad the acting was. I mean it was Tommy Wiseau bad. In fact the nudity and acting are so bad there's almost a shamelessness about it. As though it's proud of how bad it is. And for that I would actually recommend it for anyone who wants to see a lot of breasts in a low budget Connan rip off.

For those who are feeling daring I offer the barbarian Queen Drinking game. This requires two teams, Team One is team acting and Team two is Team Boobs. For ever poorly acted line of dialog, team Acting takes a drink, For every set of boobs you see, team Boobs takes a drink. Please keep an EMT handy and sober as most likely more than one person will almost die of alcohol poisoning. You've been warned

The only reason I can recommend this movie is if you want to see women showing off their tits. Sorry. I had to say it. There is nothing else worth watching here. Sloppy editing, bad acting (Lana Clarkson and Katt Shea shows their acting talents (both of them) and crap music. I have to admit that I fell asleep during the middle of this movie as well. I love sword-and-sorcery, adventure and fantasy movies but this is just tiresome. The story is promising enough (as a revenge flick), but the warrior women only manage to get captured every few minutes so that they can be tortured (topless, of course). Watch something else instead. Is it a sequel you say? Do you think that I'm going to watch it?

I was in college when this film was released and it really made an impression on me. Now, I'm not saying that it moved me to deep philosophical thinking. Rather, this movie is one that can be seen in fast-forward mode on your VCR and you won't miss a bit of the plot (which I'll give in a bit). The impression it made on me was one of Lana Clarkson, who plays the lead role, topless and tied to an upright rack while she's tortured with a needle by a smallish man with large glasses.

Now the reason she's there: Amathea (Lana Clarkson) was about to be married to the prince of her village when soldiers charge in and slaughter just about everyone. The prince is captured and Amathea escapes into the woods where she joins up with 3 other warriors. They plan to go to the city and rescue the prince. Along the way they manage to kill a few straggling soldiers, rescue a woman tied to fence who's topless and has been whipped, and make friends with rebels seeking to overthrow the local ruler. Amathea's sister allows herself to be captured by the ruler so that she can be his concubine and Amathea is captured while trying to rescue her. The king thinks Amathea is part of the rebel movement and orders her to be tortured until she identifies the rebel leaders. After the 5 minute torture scene, Amathea throws the torturer into a vat of acid and escapes, freeing the gladiators and the prince and creating a mediocre fight scene wherein the ruler is overthrown and the people are free.

Don't see this movie for the plot. Don't see it for the dialogue. You'll want to see it because the 4 main actresses in the film eventually have nude scenes in this order: rape, nipple play, wrestling, woman on the fence topless, rape, stripped topless, Lana's torture scene. The rape scenes are weak, the wrestling is short. I'm convinced that the only reason they made a sequel was to show Lana Clarkson on a rack again (see "Barbarian Queen II"). Unless you're into bad barbarian sword-and-sandle movies, mild rape, Lana Clarkson, and/or bondage, you can skip this movie. Me, I saw it for Lana Clarkson.

41 seconds in and you have a topless woman. Thanks to Shout Factory this glorious entry into the 80's Sword and Sorcery trash cinema along with Amazons was just released on a Blu-ray double bill. All I can say is "Thank you." I remember watching this gem when it first came out, along with every other entry into the genre. Roger Corman, you sir were in integral part of my misspent teens. Is it complete garbage, yep but it's my type of garbage. Every single one of these Sword and Sorcery "films" are cinematic gold. Plain and simple. Scoff if you will but I bet I'm not alone.