Attack of the Beast Creatures

With a title like ATTACK OF THE BEAST CRETURES you're certainly not expecting CITIZEN KANE but even with very low expectations this is a dreadful movie and what let's it down is the technical aspects . " What technical aspects Theo? " Exactly . From the very opening frame of the film you know you're going to be watching a shipwreck of a movie

In fact everything about the film can be summed up by the opening . We have a totally inappropriate soundtrack played on a synthesiser . Michael Mann's THE KEEP also a bizarre soundtrack that feels it belongs to an entirely different movie but at least that film redeemed itself by some great cinematography and camera work . Here it seems the director took his mates on a day trip to the beach . Everything about the movie screams amateur film maker

Perhaps the most noticeable thing is the acting or rather the lack of it . I genuinely thought this was an Italian movie badly dubbed in to English . It's certain ly got that vibe where any emotion or inflexion in the voices is totally negated by other people calmly talking their lines as in " Oh no I'm being attacked by a horde of monsters mercy me " in the same sort of tone you'd expect someone to read out their laundry list

The only saving grace - and I'm being totally charitable here - is the eponymous beast creatures themselves . It would be very easy for the director to get a bunch of extras to don wigs and pretend to be flesh eating monsters . Here we have what effectively fairground gonks that attack the cast and who are less wooden than the cast which means this movie gets three out of ten instead of two out of ten

Totally insane trash movie where a several shipwreck suvivors on a desert island faces strange creatures likes little puppets with black hair who attack them at night and day, this devil puppets are quite well done and disappoint no one as entertainment only, they certainly choose a desert island to saves money of course and this will amuzing everyone, whatever the result after watching deserve a look for those who loves trash movies!! a bit o criticism could be a lack of nudity scenes as appears in this kind of production!!

Resume:

First watch: 2018 / How many: 1 / Source: DVD-R / Rating: 4

After their ship sinks "somewhere in the North Atlantic", the survivors make their way to a seemingly deserted island. Little do they know, they're not alone. Astonishingly, the group splits up, heading off in several different directions. This proves to be... unwise.

ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES, in addition to having one of the greatest titles ever, is low-budget, imbecilic terror at its zenith! It wastes no time at all in becoming as ridiculous as possible! The lack of any funding is an asset, allowing for the title "monsters" to emerge, hitting us like hickory planks to our faces! You'll sit wide-eyed and slack-jawed as these killer dolls begin their onslaught!

The cast, though akin to human furniture, is fun to watch, especially when they die!

AWESOME SCENES: #1- A man dunks his head into a stream for a drink, and comes up a bit... lightheaded! #2- Another man is completely relieved of his skinsuit!

I want a BEAST CREATURE doll for my birthday! You will too!...

I LOVE a good low-budget horror movie. Thing is it needs to be good. Here, we have a movie that looks like it has a budget of $250 and yes that includes the FX.

We enter the story as a group of people have been shipwrecked and so they drift aimlessly through the water in their lifeboat named Obelisk. Soon they hit land after the credits end and due to brutal lighting what looks like angry, spoiled sausages attack them in the night. By first light we see they actually look like ravenous, haunted dolls. Time to try and stay alive.

The music by John P. Mozzi is actually quite effective and way better than this movie deserves. Super bad acting by almost everyone in this movie.

Might be good to sit down with a good friend with some of your favourite beers and/or whiskey and get some good laughs. Otherwise steer clear.

This was a real treat. The film starts off a little slow, so hang in there because once the action starts you will probably choke on your beer or mountain dew out of sheer hysterical laughter. In my journey through "grade Z" movies, it is movies like Attack of the Beast Creatures that make it all worth it. This is the type of movie that I put on that "special shelf" for the friends that don't want to have to think or invest much of themselves into a film. For those friends who you would like to impress with a movie so bad, that it is just beautiful. This was made at a time when bad films were at least still shot on film. Now days "grade z" movies are shot on daddy's new digital camcorder, so they don't have any real cinematic quality. This has some cinematic quality...OK, cinematic quality in a really "grade z" kind of way.

If you want Freddie Kreuger, Jason, or The Ring Meets the Grudge Part 4, then go to your local Blockbuster. Leave the trash to us trashmongers...I love it!