- Queen of Hearts: Sentence first, verdict afterwards!
- Alice: Are you crazy? You can't have a sentence first.
- Queen of Hearts: Hold your tongue!
- Alice: I will not hold my tongue! Why don't you hold yours?
- Queen of Hearts: Oooh! Off with her head! Off with her head!
- Alice: [reading] 'Twas brillig and the slithy toves. Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogroves, And the mome raths outgrabe. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch!"
- Queen of Hearts: In that case, would you be good enough to grovel?
- Duchess: Grovel?
- Queen of Hearts: Yes. Right here on the gravel!
- Conductor: Where's your ticket?
- Alice: [searches her pockets] I'm afraid I haven't got one. There wasn't a ticket office where I got on.
- Conductor: No excuses, please! You should have got one from the engine driver!
- [he leaves in a huff]
- Gentleman in the Paper Suit: He means the man that drives the engine also sells the tickets! You should have known that!
- Cheshire Cat: [in song] Somehow you strayed and lost your way, and now there'll be no time to play, no time for joy, no time for friends - not even time to make amends. You are too naïve if you do believe life is innocent laughter and fun. There are things to fear. So you see, my dear, your adventures have only begun.
- [the disembodied head of the Cheshire Cat appears]
- Alice: It's the Cheshire Cat! Oh, hello, Cheshire Cat.
- Cheshire Cat: Hello. How do you like the Queen?
- Alice: Not at all. I don't like that of losing my head. Would you?
- Cheshire Cat: I could hardly afford that.
- White Queen: Tuppence a week and jam every other day.
- Alice: I don't want you to hire me, and I didn't come for jam.
- White Queen: Well, it's very good jaaaaam.
- [sic]
- Alice: Well, I don't want any today any way.
- White Queen: You couldn't have it if you did want it. The rule is, 'Jam tomorrow, jam yesterday, but never jam today.'
- Alice: Is not ever sometime, to jam today?
- White Queen: No, it can't. It's jam every other day. Today isn't any other day, you know?
- Mad Hatter: Do you know "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?"
- Alice: Yes I do.
- [singing]
- Alice: Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are.
- Mad Hatter: No, no, no, no, no. That's not good at all. I prefer... Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder what you're at.
- The Dormouse: [startled] Twinkle twinkle little skunk, how I wonder if you're drunk!
- [falls over]
- The March Hare: Twinkle twinkle little ant... you do look strange without your pants.
- [laughs]
- Alice: Now look, little baby, if you're going to turn into a pig, I'll have nothing more to do with you.
- The Queen of Hearts: [as one of the cards bends over to make a wicket too slowly] Oh, you oaf! You move much too slowly. That's it! Off with his head!
- [during the Knave's trial]
- The King of Hearts: [to the jury] Have we a verdict? Have we a verdict?
- [as the jury is deliberating, Alice stands up, indignant]
- Alice: You haven't gotten the evidence yet!
- The King of Hearts: Silence!
- [bangs gavel]
- Alice: [Alice is silent for a moment, then clutches her stomach] Oooh.
- The Gryphon: [concerned] What's the matter? What's the matter?
- [the court's eyes are on Alice as she stands worriedly; suddenly she begins to grow]
- The Black Cat: [astonished] You're growing, young lady!
- Alice: But I didn't eat a piece of mushroom or drink anything!
- The Gryphon: There's no doubt about it... you're growing up!
- [Alice now stands at 50 feet tall]
- Queen of Hearts: Didn't I tell you this morning that heads would roll?
- The King of Hearts: Yes, indeed you did, dear. But, you know, it's an extraordinary thing. Heads do not roll as they used to. Nowadays they just plunk down on the ground and stay there.