Weekend Pass

In what sounds like the perfect recipe for an 80s sex comedy, four naval recruits get a weekend pass and head to Los Angeles for 72 hours of fun. Unfortunately, 'fun' in this case consists largely of driving aimlessly around town in a jeep, getting in a scrap with a badly dressed street gang, visiting the world's worst comedy club, and busting some moves at an aerobics themed party (WARNING: this film contains scenes of gratuitous body popping and gaudy spandex outfits which may cause uncontrollable hysteria and/or feelings of nausea).

The weekend's more risqué activities are limited to a quick visit to a strip joint, hiring a topless masseuse (the only one in LA who doesn't offer extras!), and for one member of the group, almost getting jiggy with an ex-girlfriend (the fool chickens out when he realises that she is more experienced in the sack than he is). Not much to boast about when they get back to base, then.

By the end of their not very wild weekend, each guy has successfully hooked up with a 'nice' girl, meaning that they've had zero nookie, and that anyone unfortunate enough to have watched this wretched bilge has had zero fun.

Torture isn't pretty. It hurts, and frankly, I wouldn't recommend it. So, in the same thought, I wouldn't recommend WEEKEND PASS. Four young, nubile sailors set out on a (dare I say?) weekend pass. The aftermath: 88 minutes of sheer, mindless, pathetic, depressing boredom.

How this inescapably bad film ever received theatrical release, is beyond the wisdom of Solomon. Whoever was the studio exec that approved this, has probably moved on to a new line of work.

The acting is appalling. The script seems as if it were written by some fifteen year old students, who really thought they were being clever. I'd rather watch someone tripping on bad acid. Just AWFUL. Gentle viewer, you have been warned.

NOT RECOMMENDED.

1st watched 2/4/2021 - (Dir-Lawrence Bassoff): Mostly boring, unfunny, supposed comedy about a group of Navy younguns getting a weekend pass after their initial training. A geek, a funny guy, a cool black guy, and a "good looker" - pack up their backpacks and head out to Los Angeles for a weekend of freedom. Of course, the first place they go is a strip club and the "good looker" reaches out to a stripper and bets he can get her number and of course, doesn't. Than, of course, they try to get a sure thing for the geek by ordering a masseuse - and this turns out to be another klunker as she walks on him with heels and twists him in numerous ways, but no happy ending. The cool black one gets a crush on a fitness instructor and eventually gets her attention. The funny one has a gig at a comedy club that falls flat but he, of course, meets a woman. Despite the intent to add raunchy scenes the movie actually tries to have a heart as the "good looker" actually says no to sex from an old college friend - primarily because she is more interested in others than him. There is a final Sunday night party where the geek has a setup date with the niece of an officer where everything works itself out for a full-on happy ending with every Navy dude having a partner. Besides the slight heart of this movie - it is not funny, not interesting, and pretty boring. Another miss for Crown International.

The plot of WEEKEND PASS reminded me of those old musical comedies starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra in which a trio of up-for-it sailors come on shore leave for the weekend and engage in all kind of escapades. Unfortunately this is the lame '80s comedy version of the story, put out by trash purveyors Crown International, and it's as dumb and stereotypical as you'd expect.

The problems are tenfold. For starters, the main characters are all jerks, and I mean real scumbags. When you see the way they treat women and find out the kind of humour they enjoy then you'll end up hating them too. Secondly, the adventures they embark on are dumb and designed to titillate than anything else. They end up at a sleazy strip club, allowing for ample nudity from the female extras, and also head to a comedy club and listen to various racist and offensive jokes.

To pad out the running time there are a few sub-plots here and there and some slapstick moments, although surprisingly for a Crown International film, no scene of a dog tearing off a woman's bikini top. Oh well - you can't have everything...

"Weekend Pass" did pretty well at the box office for a low budget youth comedy with no big stars in its cast. However, it's all but forgotten today. Watching it, it's pretty easy to figure out why it hasn't built even a minor cult. There's no real story here - it's just a bunch of vignettes that have little to no relationship with each other. There are a number of attempts at humor, but they all fall completely flat. The musical score is pretty bad - I'm sure even audiences in 1984 thought the music was sub par. And while there is some T & A, none of the characters actually gets lucky, at least on screen.

Still, I have to admit that the movie is not COMPLETELY terrible. The production values are pretty good for a low budget movie, taking us to a number of places that include some L.A. locations you don't usually see in a B movie. The four main characters come across as pretty likable guys, supporting each other and having warm personalities. And the final sequence has a surprising amount of emotion. I'm not saying this stuff saves the movie, but it helps to make the viewing experience less painful than you may be expecting.