- Porter Reese: You shot it. What a bunch of dumb sons of bitches, you *shot* it! A *machine* - you butt-heads!
- [pertaining to Lyle's modified Yamaha motorcycle]
- Earl: How many different bikes did you use to make this?
- Lyle Swann: Made entirely from farm animals, Mr. Earl. Runs like a rocket up to 60, at which point, I punch this little button here, the whole thing turns into an adult motel.
- Daniels: That machine, these clothes, this here light... Where'd these come from?
- Lyle Swann: Tinker toys, mostly. See, I hang with technoid types. We party, and they come up with all this bundle of boogie. Bike's a bunch of Jap parts. Real zoot, huh? Cyalume from K-Mart.
- [I work hard to steal this stuff]
- [regarding Lyle's motorbike]
- Porter Reese: If General Lee had had that machine, we'd have won the war.
- [first lines]
- Company Spokesperson: Ladies and gentlemen of the press, it is my pleasure to welcome you on behalf of International Computel Corporation to Project Timerider. Project Timerider is the 16th in our series of experiments in time travel, and today will be our first experiment with a live animal.
- [murmurs in the audience]
- Company Spokesperson: A live female Rhesus monkey named Esther G.
- [some chuckles heard in the audience]
- Company Spokesperson: This experiment, once again under the direction of Dr. Samuel Stellar, hopes to send Esther G. back in time to the year 1862 and return her safely. Because of the sensitive nature of this experiment, and because International Computel is not connected with the government in any way, the location of the project bunker and the location of the sendback pad site is secret. I'd like to thank all of you for coming today. And to welcome you to the fascinating and wonderful new world of time travel. Thank you. Thank you.