Satomi hakken-den

This is not a bad movie by any means. It's a good story and the acting isn't as bad as some people indicate. The movie does suffer from a big 80's "new wave" influence and the English dub is horrible. I gave up on that version after 10 minutes. However, watching the remastered HD 16x9 version in Japanese with English subs made this actually an enjoyable movie.

This is one of many Japanese sword and fantasy films, but in that genre it stands out. This comes as no real surprise since it is directed by Kinji Fukasaku, who is one of the masters of Japanese cinema. But if you are looking for a masterpiece here, you won't find it. There are many flaws. The character development is non-existent and even silly. One character, who had been a bloody killer of women and children, suddenly reforms. His explanation: "I heard a flute and it awoke something inside me." Well, don't let that or any of the many plot holes bother you. It is simply not that kind of movie. And you probably won't notice these flaws anyway, because you will be so wrapped up in the excellent action sequences that you won't care. Fukasaku uses his considerable skills to pull out all the stops on pure entertainment. Aside from the action sequences, the special effects are excellent and the production values are high.

Fukasaku was known for getting the best from his players and this is no exception. Among the actors, Sonny Chiba is up to his usual antics here, but Fukasaku brings out a certain charm that makes him a plausible romantic lead. Hiroko Yakushimaru plays the female lead. In this type of film, her type of character is usually just a pretty face that other, more interesting characters revolve around. But she takes the role beyond this and is not only beautiful, but charming and exciting. She gives the character a kind of positive energy that makes her character interesting and can't help but make you smile. The other characters also represent themselves well.

What really makes the film work is the pace. It is quick and pulls carries you through the story so that you don't notice its flaws. And really, do these flaws matter that much? To a purist perhaps, but a purist would miss the obvious good time of watching this film. So just let the film carry you away into that fantasy land that we all need to go to once in a while. It is fun and refreshing. Enjoy - it is one of the best rides like it that you can find.

Satomi Hakkenden will be understood the moment the viewer realizes that the soulful, classically Japanese score is being played on a cheap Casio synthesizer, and that somehow that is good. Being one of the country's very traditional legends (stolen from China), the writers drew from literary sources to make their movie, and it shows. The movie has heaping doses of melodrama, decapitations, and dead children. It also has characters dressed like a costume shop exploded, giant flying snakes hanging by ropes, a truly terrible 70's power ballad love song, and a plot so stereotypically Japanese it can be considered prototypical.

None of that is to say that the movie is bad. All of those things add to the ambiance of the movie. It also contains incredible special effects for 1983, some of the moments are surprisingly poignant, and the fight scenes are great. The plot may be telegraphed from a mile away, but it is still entertaining to watch it all unfold. If you are at all a fan of Japanese culture, you have seen this movie before, in one way or another. Yet if this sounds at all appealing to you, you owe it to yourself to see the original. Satomi Hakkenden deserves a larger spot in great camp history.

LEGEND OF THE EIGHT SAMURAI, on its most base level, is every kid's dream movie: it has eight (count 'em!) mystical warriors, immortality, monsters and evil deities, sacrifices and heroic deeds, and a pointless breast or two. Unfortunately, the elements of the film fail to tie together into a good, coherent film.

The movie deals with a princess destined to destroy some evil undead guys (unfortunately, they're not zombies, which are always B-movie gold). Told through a confusing Chinese manuscript back story, she is apparently the reincarnation of a martyred girl from generations ago. Over the course of 133 long minutes, she is joined by the titled eight warriors (although I think only two of them even come close to being samurai...), including Sonny Chiba as the typical fighter-dude, a huge cave-dweller and his son, a female ninja assassin, and an evil general who sees the light side...or something.

As earlier mentioned, this movie is one of those martial-arts epics that attempts to cram everything that should be cool into one two-hour feature. This story might work exceedingly well as a video game (Final Fantasy, anyone?) but just as FINAL FANTASY: THE SPIRITS WITHIN failed to convey a sense of a coherent world, LEGEND OF THE EIGHT SAMURAI also tends to focus more on (poorly conceived) set pieces and monsters than atmosphere and action. There are a few good moments to be found in the ending storm of the bad-guy fortress, but the sacrifices made and the triumph attained mean nothing to the viewer due to the huge amount of material thrown in their face. My rating: 6/10

Legend of Eight Samurai...aka...Japanese Ripoff of American Blockbusters of late 70s and early 80s.

The majority of the plot stitched together by the patchwork of the first three Star Wars films.

So bitterly ironic since Lucas has credited the Japanese classic The Hidden Fortress by the late, great Akira Kurosawa as a heavy influence for his first Star Wars film.

Open as an evil empire converges at their fortress to solidify their evilness with the heads of the entire royal family. All save for one! A Princess?! They need to find the princess to complete their task!

And of course, that feisty princess is on her way to meet up with her uncle.

But runs into a feisty, bratty pretty-boy who wants to be a fighter like the others. As well as her older protector who will unite a band of special warriors to defeat the Empire... Sound familiar?

This flick is chock-ful-o-Lucas-clichés:

Darth Vader...err... I mean, the evil queen proclaiming the pretty-boy is her son. NOOOO! I'll never join you!

The group fighting a serpentine creature in the trash compacto...err... I mean, bowels of the Death Sta...err... I mean, Castle.

Obi Wan...err... I mean, Sonny Chiba's character constantly being the sage leading the feisty princess... all the while knowing his time is finite.

There's even rip-offs of the other great Lucas franchise, Raiders of the Lost Ark:

The re-creation of the famous boulder opening. Snakes, why does it always have to be snakes. And the over-abundance of pistols... even though everything else in the film dates it to a time long before pistols were even invented. Speaking of which, you gotta dig the times when they failed to eliminate modern elements from the shots. Like telephone poles.

Still, campy fun. Thought truly painful at times. Like the love scene with the cheesy early 80s rock ballad score. They keep cutting back and forth between some painful, badly framed love-making shot and one of the eight samurai statues. So you keep counting off each Samurai statue shot, urging the editor to cut to another statue fast in order to end the painful scene.

And as far as that other review I read that claimed video games ripped THIS movie off?! That is giving this little seen flick far too much credit.