Lumaban ka, Satanas

THE KILLING OF Satan was the first recommendation by this clerk at a brand new offbeat video store in my neighborhood and I fell in love with the movie and the store after that. I told him I felt I had seen everything horror-wise that was good and that I had also seen all the so bad it's good horror/trash stuff - like Ed Wood, Al Adamson, Skip Milligan, Albert Pyun, etc. so they recommend this little opus and my pals and I were laughing our heads off - the special effects and acting are atrocious - the scene where a large boulder crushes someone is so inept and badly done that Wily Coyote would smirk - the boulder looks like a large wad of newspaper, the actor is out of position for the "boulder" to crush him so he literally flings himself in front of it and then after he is crushed they reveal the actor's head sticking up out of the ground and a paper doll outline of his body with some ketchup on it. After that, we were hooked. The fights are bad, the music is bad and yet there are also some really creepy things it - in fact, there was this mute cave boy that totally freaked out my friend - there are scenes with LOTS of real snakes - I mean, this is the Phillipines, I'm sure the film crew just hired some locals to bag snakes and they came back with tons - in one scene - the lead hero is just smashing and tying real LIVE snakes in knots - the finale between Lando the hero and Satan himself has to be seen to be believed. THE KILLING OF Satan is an amazingly bad movie for lovers of great bad International cheese.

A jean-jacket-wearing champion named Lando must travel to a cave to rescue his daughter from the forces of evil. A Filippino amalgam of Christianity and other religions appears to be the basis for this bizarre fantasy adventure. It has a budget as low as Geek Maggot Bingo and acting that makes William Shatner look like a candidate for knighthood. Guys zap each other with magical rays that appear to have been drawn on the film with crayons. Rubber snakes turn into naked people. Nudity, gore and implied rape co-exist quite happily with a child-like innocence that's at the story's heart...I don't have the cultural background to process this film properly, I'm sure, which is what makes it so damn entertaining. I am now hanging my head in shame and questioning my own gratuitous use of the phrase "WTF" up to this point, because this film is clearly what it was meant for all along.

See it.

The Killing of Satan (AKA: Lumaban ka, Satanas) - 1983 (This Films Rates a C ) A crazy super low budget Filipino film where a mustachioed man named Lando fights to save his daughter from Satan. "You're yellow Satan!" But first he is unknowingly summoned by his dead uncle to battle The Prince of Magic and his evil posse. The prince has these rays from his hands that can incapacitate. The dead uncle guides Lando through his journey. Eventually learning of his true superhuman powers and learning he can heal plus withstand bullets. The film gets kind of weird from there. There are fake explosions, fake rockslides down a mountain, snake slapping and tying the body into a knot, shape shifters, phony yet entertaining combat scenes including fisticuffs and hand rays, the defeat of Satan and lots of snakes. The script and acting are not meant to be funny but are, mainly due to the extremely absurd dubbing. There are too many examples of this. Sometimes the storyline gets lost and often times it's just plain bad. The gore and effects are mild and not anything exciting. There are boobs. It is ok for what it is.

The Killing of Satan is a terrible movie with an awful lot of charm because of it, the best kind! If you are into the "so bad it's good" mentality this film is definitely a must see. In a movie production sense this film is criminally woeful, with one of the worst plots and some of the tackiest editing, acting and costumes you will ever see. Despite this, it is highly entertaining with a strong camp appeal. Lando, a 30 something average looking man with an awesome gay porn mustache is the protagonist and the sheer ludicrousness of his plight is enough to have you in stitches. This is only the tip of the iceberg however, get this movie for a rainy day.

"The Killing Of Satan" is a bizarre foriegn film that is virtually incomprehensible. An ex-convict's wife and daughter are stolen by devils and thrown into hell. (Which according to this movie, is maybe 40 feet below the earth's surface.) Now he must save them. Along the way he faces such dangers as deadly styrofoam boulders, a little island kid who only makes cat noises, jumping snakes, and men in spandex outfits who can shoot laser beams. In the end he faces a very scrawny, ridiculous looking Satan. Overall this movie just might be worth seeing if you are in the mood for a very strange Spanish horror flick. (And who isnt?!)