The Being

This isn't a magnificent movie, though it isn't a bad one either. This is pretty much as average as they come. A year before Toxi the Toxic Avenger graced out screens there was The Being.

This is a story about a boy who falls foul to a greedy Mayor who sells his soul to a corporation so they can dump pollution in his township. Once the boy is mutated, his damaged brain send him on a killing spree. As always, with the plethora of horror films, this could have been better, especially the story which is only there to create The Being.

What this film has in its favour is it's cast, though not the cream of the crop there are some very good masters of their craft involved. Both Martin Landau and Jose Ferrer in their respective roles of Dr Garson Jones and Mayor Gordon Lane, who is nice and sleazy. In fact, most of the cast give good performances with the material they have, even Roxanne Cybelle Osco, who is the little girl in the Easter Egg Hunt scene (one of my favourites in the film). The only person who seems miscast is Bill Osco as Detective Mortimer Lutz, his style is that of a Chippendale chair... Oh, and there's even a naked Traci Lord painting her toenails before being attacked by a rubber monster (sorry I couldn't resist - though it is true).

So why didn't this get a higher rating? For me, it's the directing. Though Jackie Kong's story isn't too bad for an '80's horror film his directing skills aren't up to the same standard. That said there are some good scenes. As I stated I liked the Easter Egg Hunt; I liked the opening sequence where you hear a radio broadcast informing the town that the storm has passed, this creates a nice atmosphere... which is then spoiled by a narration. The narration isn't required as everything is explained throughout the movie. I don't know if this was requested to be added later, it feels that way, or if it was the original plan, but what I do know is that it kills the atmosphere and spoils the feel of the film. This may even get a few people turning off. Kong is also good at filming in the dark as he opts to make everything visible (there's nothing worse than when a scene is so dark you cannot see what's happening). He can even build up the tension as the scene in the dinner shows, nice and creepy. If he could have kept this up for the entirety of the film it would have been so much better.

Then there are the effects. The ripping out of a heart is well done as is the oozing pollution which comes through the car's vents and radio. However, the monster itself is laughable and it's a good thing that you don't see it fully until the finale. It resembles a box of goo on a skateboard and the one eye it has doesn't look at all realistic; I was waiting for the glue to go off and the table tennis ball to fall off.

If you like, leave your brain at the door '80's horror and you've not seen this one yet then give it a gander as it's at least worth one viewing. It should be said that it would be better viewed in the dark with a nice cold drink... or two... or three... while the rain outside is spattering your window.

The first thing that struck me when watching this was how on earth the lead actor got the job. He has to be one of the worst I've seen, honestly, he delivers his lines like he's in a school play. Then I found out he's married to the director, who is also the writer. Aside from all that this very much wears its influences on its sleeve, it's mostly 50's style B-movie horror. A monster movie that begs and borrows ideas from its predecessors. It's not very good to be honest, it's badly edited, poorly lit, wastes its location, has weak monster design, and of course the terrible wooden acting from the main character. There's also out of place voice-over moments early one where we hear the lead characters inner thoughts, really odd. Also, we hear a radio broadcast every now and then telling us about a storm that is never actually in the movie, completely pointless. Landau, Ferrer, and Buzzi are actually ok in their supporting roles and ultimately carry the movie. Not surprisingly the director didn't go on to have much of a career, a case of too much imitating over innovating it seems.

This movie is almost like CHUD except not as good. It was somewhat disappointing in its first half, and then I realized that it wasn't going to get any better after that. The movie is on the par with cheap 1950's B-movie horror flicks, and is worth a watch on late night TV when nothing else is on. It's main problem is that it is rather un-inspired in its use of the overplayed theme of radioactive waste turning things into monsters, and is slow. It is quite funny, though and frightening in places. I rated it an embarrassingly high 5 -- Hey, so I'm easy to please.

I actually enjoyed "The Being" for the most part. Obviously it's awful but isn't that the point? The basic plot is a small town in Idaho is victimized by a big, blubbering, wet and greasy, reddish-pink blob with one eye. He kills people at random and a determined detective is going to get to the bottom of it. Martin Landau plays a 'scientist' who is heading up a toxic waste dump research project who tries at first to stand in the detective's way, but then conceded that 'yes in fact, there is a problem in Pottsville...' Along the way we meet some awful actors and actresses and we are treated to many cheeseball performances and some lame killings. We get a nice view of the monster in the end and it actually is a little creepy. One thing we can say about this flick is that it is never really boring, no; it moves along pretty quickly with a decent amount of action.

All in all, I've seen worse, but I've definitely seen better within the genre. The genre of whence I speak being 80's drive-in trash, I mean what do you want?

5 out of 10, kids.

Okay, "The Being" is probably one of the absolute crappiest and cheesiest low-budget horror productions the 80's decade ever spawned (and that is saying a lot), but who can honestly bring him/herself to slamming it so harshly and even discourage other people to watch it? If nothing else, this film guarantees tremendous fun and it's never boring; not even for half a second. Surely the basic concept is unoriginal, the script is unimaginably incoherent and the acting performances rank among the absolute hammiest we have ever witnessed, but you could pretty much derive all that from one short peek at the DVD-cover, so don't come complaining afterwards! "The Being" is (unintentionally?) hilarious, with insane and totally irrelevant sub plots, unnecessary narrative voice-overs, stereotypical small-town USA rednecks, and grotesque splatter effects. The small town of Pottsville, Idaho (self-acclaimed potato capital of the world, mind you) has an unwelcome new arrival in the shape of a gooey & bloodthirsty mutated monster. He clearly likes cars, as he always hides in them, and he's undeniably the result of years of pollution even though the local scientist openly claims that it's safe to dump toxic waste in the water reservoirs. But Pottsville is dealing with more issues than just the slimy monster. The mayor's wife is on a sole mission to banish all pornography, the potato export business may under no circumstances get in danger, there's a lonely woman wandering around the streets without apparent motives, the deputy is too busy arresting Mexican immigrants who're fishing without a license and the local radio DJ blames all the missing person files on the tornadoes even though I didn't notice the slightest sign of bad whether. At one point, I was even suspecting the DJ to be the monster in disguise, because he seems to know who vanished before they're even reported as missing persons. In case cheesy gore and bad dialogs is what you crave, "The Being" certainly won't disappoint! We're already treated to a fabulous decapitation moment during the first five minutes, and there are several more delightfully gross massacres to enjoy throughout the rest of the film. Martin Landau receives top billing but his role is rather small. Good call, because he clearly wasn't very interested in the lines he had to speak and I suspect he just signed up because he had nothing better to do. Rexx Coltrane – his name makes him sound like a porn actor – is probably the most wooden actor I ever saw and his lack of talent particularly becomes transparent when he tries to convince the mayor something stinks in Pottsville. Honestly, feel free to watch this demented sick puppy in case you're looking for a couple of laughs and a handful of undemanding smut effects. Please do avoid if you have low tolerance for poorly scripted and inane 80's trash movies. "The Being" anonymously remained lying on a shelf for three years before it got released and the same director was also responsible for "Blood Diner" … How's that for bad omens? I guess the term "guilty pleasure" was invented exactly for movies like this.