La spada a tre lame

Albert Pyun's minor budgeted sword and sorcery foray is just as amusing now, as I remembered it to be and one of the better (if not one of the best) attempts of the over-flooded sub-genre that skyrocketed in the 80s. Never does it cop out on the ingredients that make this type of b-films fun. The wonderful camp level is high, as blood and flesh (topless mainly) run freely. Pace stays zippy, and while the pulpy story has cut and dry outline, it still has personality and a complex array of schemes to keep it excitingly brash, and not just relying on set-pieces. Don't go looking for a mythical medieval journey filled with a variety of beasties, and obstacles on this one though. It's the standard boy seeks revenge when grown up on the man who killed his family, and took over his father's thrown. The hacked-up script is colourfully tacky, but has an agreeable sarcastic edge and unpretentious novelties streaming off it. Sure there are some untied plot details, but never does it fault the entertainment. Yes its entertainment, that's better not to delve too hard in to. Pyun (in his directorial debut) confidently does a workable job constructing an epic scale treatment, by using his budget wisely. Enthusiastic set-designs, and prop work look respectable and are well-integrated. We get bravado sword fights, busting with adrenaline and guts. It's pure mayhem during certain stages, but commendably executed. Then there's the potent make-up FX that holds a vivid imagination, and brutal punch. David Whittaker spirited score chimes in largely, and overwhelms many sequences. Lee Horsley makes for a charming, brawn heroine and a lively Richard Lynch mercifully eats it up as the clichéd villain of the piece. Kathleen Beller stands tall with her bold performance, and makes for nice eye-candy. Simon MacCorkindale has a strong showing, and Richard Boll (in gooey make-up) stands out too in his role as a monstrous sorcerer. In solid support are George Maharis, Joe Regalbuto and a formidable Robert Tessier.

I had no clue what was happening the entire movie, and I had no clue who was who the whole movie. The plot kept bringing in new characters, and characters whom you thought were the main ones, disappear for 30 minutes or disappear altogether. There's the blonde girl, but apparently she's not the main girl (Kathleen Beller) whom the apparent hero has a love interest in. I was super confused the whole movie and it could not keep my attention. I know it should be a good film, since it falls into the illustrious category of '80s sword-and-sorcery, but it made no sense to me. It felt as if THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING had broken into many different subplots and sub-groups, crossed with THE PRINCESS BRIDE, but to compare this movie with them only sullies their reputation. Honestly, DEATHSTALKER II (1987) makes more sense and is funnier.

"I have a debt to pay" ... for 15 years of viewing pleasure. This film is an absolute joy, untarnished by repeated viewings, sadly overshadowed by Schwarzeneger's vastly inferior Conan movies, and unreasonably critically trashed alongside truly terrible contemporary low budget thud and blunder efforts. The script creaks more than the plot, but reigned in from the curse of camp by director Albert Pyun the actors deliver their lines with a straight face and leave the the audience to find the comedy themselves. Almost a dictionary definition of "ahead of its time", the film is a blueprint for the success of Sam Raimi's Hercules and Xena, right down to the use of Australian bit players. Effects like the demon sorceror's tomb might be managed better technically today, but no more atmospherically, and the closing sword battle is a triumph. The performances are eccentric and electric, and you could not wish for a more motley crew of cut-throats and sidekicks. Richard Lynch eats the scenery with unalloyed zeal, and quite simply more of Lee Horsley as Talon would have made the movie world a better place.

One of the first fantasy adventure flicks to cash in on the success of Schwarzeneggar's Conan, The Sword and the Sorcerer has stuck in my mind over the past 30 years thanks to its relatively high level of gore and female nudity. Unfortunately, what I couldn't remember was just how crap the less exploitative elements of the film are. Lame fight scenes, a confusing meandering plot, half-assed humour, characters with really dumb names, wooden acting, and terrible direction: they're all here in abundance.

Let's concentrate on the positives then...

Pop this one into the player and you'll be greeted by a surprisingly good opening scene in which ancient sorcerer Xusia, resurrected to help villain Cromwell (Richard Lynch) in his quest for world domination, demonstrates his power by using magic to tear the heart from a witch. Some decent splattery make-up effects easily make this one of the best parts of the whole film. Juicy!

Not much later and we get to see the film's titular sword, a truly impressive piece of weaponry—triple bladed, with two of these blades able to be fired from the hilt at high velocity. This is inherited by young warrior Talon after Cromwell ruthlessly slaughters his family and their people. Boo hissss!

Years pass, the story gets awfully convoluted and characters come and go, but at least we get some scantily clad wenches to help take our minds off the sloppiness of the script, best of all being buxom, doe-eyed beauty Alana (Kathleen Beller), who along with her brother Mikah (Simon MacCorkindale) is plotting a rebellion against Cromwell. They hire the now grown up Talon (played by Lee Horsley) to help their cause. Cool!

Talon gets in lots of fairly bloody but badly choreographed fights, encountering more semi-clothed women along the way, but is eventually captured and crucified, large nails piercing both his hands. He gets free, of course, and with the help of Mikah, some friendly seadogs, and a few farmers, defeats Cromwell's soldiers. During this fight, we get a brief but really gory shot of a head being cleaved in two. Nice!

The end of the film sees Talon, armed with his massive weapon (oo-err), chasing down Cromwell only to be confronted by Xusia, who has been masquerading as Cromwell's evil adviser Machelli. Here we get another decent effects scene as the sorcerer sheds his human guise, tearing away the flesh from his face and arms. Yuck!

However, as enjoyable as certain individual moments are, the movie as a whole is a mess, a distinctly mediocre fantasy that I imagine will have many viewers fast-forwarding through in order to get to the next 'good bit'.

An evil conqueror Cromwell (Richard Lynch) revives an even more evil sorcerer Xuxia (Richard Moll) to help him to battle against the king of Aragorn (no kidding) Richard. So short story short, the Vromwell wins and executes the king and the queen and guess who stays alive to seek vengeance? Bingo. The prince Talon (Lee Horsley) and his silly three bladed sword, that can shoot blades as a projectiles.

Now, all things considered, this is a silly movie. In fact, I would dare to go as far, and say it's pretty idiotic. But, from the reasons beyond my poor knowledge, I liked it. not that I'm gonna give it 10 stars or anything, but it was surprisingly enjoyable, as far, that I liked it better than Red Sonja and that dreadful Conan The Barbarian sequel, Conan The Destroyer.

Acting is pretty horrendous in this film, just as the plot. But the film manages to be pretty funny, some times unintentionally (the projectile sword), sometimes intentionally. It keeps its quirky tongue in cheek atmosphere pretty well to the end, so it ain't that bad way to spend a couple of hours.