Doposcuola proibito

I remember seeing trailers for "Homework" when it was released in 1982, hyping it as an older woman-younger man sex comedy à la "My Tutor," "Private Lessons" or "Class." I didn't want to see it in 1982 but sought it out recently thinking that, if nothing else, it would be fun to watch Joan Collins go into full-on vixen mode and make teen-age boys squirm. And that would be fun were "Homework" made as a Joan Collins vehicle designed to capitalize on/poke fun at her "Dynasty" fame. But it turns out "Homework" was made in 1979, when Collins' career was in a free-fall and she was appearing in movies like "The Stud" and "Empire of the Ants." She may be one of the biggest names in the cast, but not big enough to ensure this turd got distributed… until 1982, when Collins was the queen of prime time.

The actual star of "Homework" is the late Michael Morgan. Morgan, who brings to mind a very young (and less interesting) Owen Wilson, is Tommy, a whiny teen so preoccupied by his virginity that he's failing his classes and needing to see a therapist (Carrie Snodgress, another slumming actress in the cast). Not helping is Sheila (Erin Donovan), the girl to whom Tommy wants to lose his virginity, if he could just get her to stop her obsessive quest to make the swim team. While Sheila swims Tommy and his friend Ralph (Lanny Horn) decide to form a band, The Flies ("The kind on your pants!"). It's the forming of the band, not Tommy getting laid, that is the main driver of "Homework"'s shambling story. Sprinkled throughout the movie are fantasy sequences (the only parts of the movie that appear to be shot in the 1980s) that seem to exist solely to pad the runtime with some extra T&A, using an obvious stand-in for Morgan. Joan Collins plays Sheila's mom, by the way. She spends most of her 15 minutes of screen time reminiscing about her teen years (flashback to the 1950s for more bare breasts!) while her husband takes a shower off camera. A stand-in takes over when Collins' character finally gives in to her awakened desires, a sex scene that would have been anticlimactic, so to speak, even if Collins had done her own nudity. (Though she was not averse to doing nude scenes in other movies, Collins refused to take anything off for "Homework," a choice made because of money rather than modesty, I imagine.)

Despite being totally inept, "Homework" is intermittently entertaining, like a scene in which a class is shown a poorly animated, 1960s-era V.D. scare film. There are also some surprising dark moments, such as when it's revealed that The Flies' drummer is abused by his father. Dan Safran and Maurice Peterson's mess of a screenplay doesn't seem to know which direction to go — teen sex comedy? coming of age dramedy? let's put on a show-style semi-musical? — and director James Beshears only makes things worse. Were this movie a little more tasteless and a lot more memorable it could easily be the "Myra Breckinridge" of teen comedies. Instead, it's a reminder of just how dire things had become for Joan Collins before she joined the cast of "Dynasty."

It wasn't perfect, and that's why it's so cool. Lots of emotion, and you can tell it's from a true story. And catch Betty Thomas! I saw it on Showtime a long time ago but I just rented it and it really brought back memories. Joan Collins' role is short but bitchin.

This has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I assume that was supposed to build on movies like Fame as well as your usual teen high school comedy, but this movie fails in every aspect. At less than 90 minutes, the film is still too long and boring, the dialogue is rather silly and the music/rock star image being portrayed is quite odd, even for the time. The movie features some gratuitous nudity, but even these scenes are rather dumb. The whole styling reminds me of Boogie Nights era adult movies, but is seriously lacking in appeal. Most of the actors were (and stayed) unknown, at least one scene is done with a body double.

If you see this movie advertised in your TV program guide, my suggestion is change the channel immediately and watch Class instead.

I liked the really good acting and the bits where you could see the boom mic

My review was written in August 1982 after a Times Square screening.

"Homework" is a very poorly-made sex comedy about a high school boy's problems in losing his virginity. Filmed circa 1979 with the alternate title "Growing Pains", picture predates Jensen Farley's hit pickup "Private Lessons", but offers exploitation possibilities as a followup release.

Evidencing plentiful post-production doctoring (mainly in the form of added nude scenes), "Homework" is truly a mixed bag, alternating dead-serious (bordering on pathos at times) depictions of the problems young teen Tommy (Michael Morgan) with poor-taste gags and softcore sex. Episodic screenplay also covers his pals' antics: Ralph (Lanny Horn) with a crush on the cute substitute French teacher (Lee Purcell); g.f. Sheila (Erin Donovan) obsessed with swim team practice and Lisa (Shell Kepler) hoping to use their vocal group The Flies as a stepping stone.

Plot payoff has Sheila's mom Diana (Joan Collins) lusting after young Tommy and finally introducing him to sex (with the aid of poorly matched double Joy Michael, who also portrays Diana at age 16 in several crudely inserted flashback scenes).

"Homework" ironically also strikes a blow against serious-minded efforts in the exploitation field. While out-and-out silly and frivolous teen pics are easy to watch (viz., the many American International and Crown International hits of the last two decades), this film's serious scenes clash with viewer's expectations and the rest of the package. It is dreary and tedious to see Tommy pouring his problems out to school psychologist Dr. Delingua (Carrie Snodgress) or traipse around the seamy Sunset Strip, forlorn amidst a barrage of sexual enticements. Instead of being funny, his bed scene of impotency with a hooker is distasteful. Documentary-trained lighting cameraman Paul Goldsmith stresses source lighting for a "realistic" look, which runs counter to the comedy and results in dim, ugly interiors.

Well-known adult cast plays second-fiddle to the kids, with Collins a steady trouper even when assigned to staring at a kid's jeans-clad crotch for a whole scene. Purcell is winning as the nervous teacher, though her role and that of the psychologist played by Snodgress are peripheral. Betty Thomas (later of "Hill St. Blues") has a ten-second bit part as rock star Wings Hauser's secretary. Biggest laughs of the film go to Mel ("Little Shop of Horrors") Welles and Beverly Todd, as doctor and clinic receptionist.