L'ultima chance

Notable actors: Ursula Andress! Eli Wallach! Fabio Testi! Barbara Bach! Howard Ross! Carlo De Mejo!

Most of the plot of this film occurs because Fabio Testi's character is such a dumbass. Really, if you were just released from prison and told to leave Canada, then take part in a jewel heist and sent over the border by your violent partner, would you then start making your car 'dance' all over an icy road because you heard a song you like on the radio? That's what Fabio does, and of course he crashes and ends up not meeting his partner and even more stupidly losing the diamonds he had with him.

The young Ursula Andress stays in the hotel with older husband Fred and step-daughter Barbara Bach. Barbara is going out with a local cop and Ursula seems to be getting it on with a local mechanic (Howard Ross), so Fabio's just walked in on a bloody soap opera. Ursula also makes a beeline for Fabio once he shows up, but when everyone in the hotel catches a news report detailing the heist, some folks figure out what's going on...and violent mobster Eli Wallach is getting impatient for his share of the loot...

Part Eurocrime film, part old school giallo, this one might not have enough nakedness and gore for more folk, but it's an interesting film anyway. It's one of those 'someone has loads of money and everyone is out to get it one way or another' films, like those late sixties Umberto Lenzi gialli. It's got a fair few twists and turns but might just be a wee bit too laid back for its own good.

It probably didn't have enough Eli Wallach when I think about it. How can you underuse Tuco? Especially with that mighty combover he's sporting in this one.

For reasons wholly obscure, and not just a trifle baffling, most appraisals of, Maurizio Lucidi's profoundly entertaining Poliziottesco, 'Motel of Fear' (aka) 'L'ultima Chance' (1973) are somewhat lukewarm affairs, this is a dismissive reading I happily don't share, since, Lucidi's lively, jewel-heisting, dangerously double dealing actioner remains a prime example of punchy Italian exploitation, with solid performances from two legitimate icons, the eternally sleek and moistly fabulous, Fabio Testi, and indelible cult hero, Eli Wallach playing a querulous pair of hard-boiled jewel thieves on the lam who discover to their considerable cost that hot rocks and a hotter blonde are too much for them to handle!

Tougher than a butcher's stropping belt, 'L'ultima Chance' is all about the devious machinations of hard-nosed wise guy, Joe (Eli Wallach), and slickly scheming, funky-looking baller, Floyd, played with a singular machismo by the tremendously testicular tearaway, Testi! The hopped up hoods fretful flight to the Stateline Motel is propelled by robust filmmaking, and a booty-boppin' deluge of righteously funky 'action-riffs' from the funk-master general of B-Movie cool, Luis Bacalov! While much of the amusingly pulpy narrative feels overly familiar, its reliance on all the bellicose, bullet-blasted poliziotteschi clichés works to its advantage.'Stateline Motel' is well worth a visit, the decor's a bit dingy, but who cares about the skeevey upholstery when you can eyeball dazzling screen sirens, Barbara Bach & Ursula Andress?

Stateline Motel is an Italian crime film shot in Montreal, featuring Fabio Testi and Eli Wallach as the criminals, and Bond girl Ursula Andress as the femme fatale, who throws a wrench into their plans.

After being released from a Canadian prison, where he was holed up for stealing a car, Floyd (played by Testi) is picked up by his partner Joe (Wallach), as the two petty criminals plan on robbing a bank before fleeing back over the border to America.

They manage to pull the job off, but Joe shoots a guy in the process.

So they split up, with plans of meeting back up in New England to split the loot.

However, on his way to the unattended border crossing, Floyd crashes his car, and ends up stuck in the Last Chance Motel, as he waits for his car to be repaired.

But things aren't exactly going smoothly.

Because after a news report airs, with CCTV footage of the robbery, a number of people in the town begin to suspect him of the crime, and want to cash in on the reward for turning him in...that is...if they can't manage to steal the jewels from him, for themselves.

Meanwhile, the wife of the motel owner (Andress) becomes infatuated with the dangerous allure of this mysterious man, and instigates an affair with him, in hopes he will whisk her away from her mundane life in this small border town.

But before he gets a chance to leave, the jewels mysteriously disappear from his room.

He thinks the promiscuous young woman has honey trapped him...but he can't be sure.

While he's trying to figure out who the culprit is...his partner Joe returns in an attempt to track him down.

Thinking he is trying to take the whole score for himself.

So a situation has developed where everyone is paranoid of everyone else, and trying to play each other, in one way or another.

Floyd thinks that if he and Joe work together, they can solve the mystery as to who actually stole the jewels, get them back, and make their escape over the border.

But Joe is suspicious, and thinks that Floyd is trying to make off with the jewels- and the motel owner's wife- for himself.

Now Floyd thinks their lives are at risk.

Believing that Joe is willing to kill them both, so that he can take the whole cache for himself.

So, thinking the motel owner's wife has the jewels- but won't give them to him unless he runs away with her- Floyd agrees to do so, after trying to distract Joe.

But everyone is way off.

As the whole thing ends up a comedy of errors, with a bit of a twist at the end, that leaves everybody a loser.

It seems like this film was shot in both English and Italian, dubbed for the Italian market, then redubbed in English for the American market...and poorly at that.

Because the audio is so out of sync with the video, that it's kind of distracting.

On top of that, none of the acting is very good.

And the twist is rather predictable.

So the whole thing comes off as rather bland.

4.5 out of 10.

This Italian crime film is interesting at first, but the pace never picks up. Fabio Testi is a good-hearted robber stranded at the "Last Chance Motel", Ursula Andress is the beautiful (but somewhat stiff) wife of the motel's owner, and Eli Wallach is Testi's partner, who comes after him when the diamonds they stole somehow disappear. You'd expect that the appearance of Wallach would help increase the tension, but that doesn't happen. Some of the night scenes (including the sex scene) are so dark you can't see anything! (**)

So who's got the stolen jewels and what's with the motel owner's glum-looking wife. She may be sexy but she's a little weird. Seems someone at the motel has stolen the jewels from Floyd who's stolen them from a jewelry store. So Floyd better figure it all out or his crime partner Joe will figure a double-cross and use that pistol he's always caressing. If this sounds a little difficult, so's the screenplay. Reviewer sol-kay does a good job pointing out holes in the narrative, which undercut logic.

In terms of the cast-- well-known actor Eli Wallach may be headlined, probably for marquee purposes, but he really only turns up in the last third, bringing some much needed energy. Instead, bland Italian actor Testi gets the most screentime among the male performers. And of course there's Andress who gets to show her sexy body (as expected), plus a shot at being more than just that. Then there's cutie Barbara Bach who could have stolen the movie with a little more screen time.

For all the plot holes, the mystery surrounding the jewels manages to hold interest. Also, Michelle's dark psychology forms something of the movie's subtext. Unfortunately, Andress is not quite up to conveying this in effective form. Too bad, because a more nuanced turn could really set the movie apart from just a standard guessing game. To me, the movie squanders what's really promising material, namely, a study in Michelle's perverse psychology. Meanwhile, I'll be getting snow tires next time I travel north.