Soffici letti, dure battaglie

December 2021

Yes Soft beds hard battles features Peter Sellers in about 6 different roles here, well as some other recognisable faces such as Jenny Hanley and Rula Lenska.

Interestingly when this came out it was an X certificate apparently and now its only a certificale 12, it does feature quite a bit of nudity.

Watch out for Gabriella Licudi from a great film called You must be joking, she looked so different here.

Largely a fun film, that perhaps loses it way a little towards the end.

8 beds out of 10.

As we saw in Dr Strangelove, Peter Sellers is extremely adept and talented at playing many roles. However, in this lame and unfunny comedy, he literally falls flat on his (many) face(s).

(For those not in UK, 'Allo, 'Allo is a long-running British family comedy series, set in a Belgian war-time town and occupied by the Germans.)

It might be due to the winds of time and the changing tastes in comedy, but as someone who would have very young at this film's release, I didn't laugh once, neither at the jokes nor the visual slapstick.

Sure, this send-up of everything second world war (Sellers plays all the world leaders, it seems) could have provided many comedy highlights but at times it's just painfully embarrassing. The dodgy accents either grate or annoy. I found the 'story' impossible to follow, assuming there actually was one and within half an hour had lost interest and only followed it to the end for reviewing purposes.

The oft nude working girls of the 1940's Paris-set brothel made this an X-certificate novelty back 40 years ago and today, the toplessness a mere '12' certificate. These are pleasant distractions for the average male viewer of course but the novelty soon wears off and soon we are amidst the awful masks that Sellers wears to turn himself 'Japanese'. Even though the film runs for 90 minutes, it seems far longer.

There's also a young-ish Timothy West as a Cardinal and Curt Jurgens as an SS Officer.

This may remain Peter Sellers' single worse film. He made some truly great ones, this is the exact opposite.

Super Sellers gives full show of his great abilities by playing completely different characters, Like he did in "Dr.Strangelove". Only this time he's pushing to the extreme! Hilarious movie, great comedy. I didn't give a super vote because (alas) it is only Peter Sellers who keeps it going, although it's more than enough for a genuine laugh! :) No, HE is GREAT (was it really needed to say so? even after the Pink Panther series?)

Peter Sellers' film career was a hit and miss affair to say the least but it surely hit a new low with this wretched, screamingly tedious, jumbled, painfully unfunny 'comedy' set in a French brothel during WW2 that sees Sellers' ego move into overdrive as it has him appearing in no fewer than 6 roles, each as annoying and unfunny as the next. How was this justified ? Oh I forgot, Peter was the star of the show and if Peter wanted the opportunity to wear as many costumes as he wanted whilst dazzling us with his repertoire of 'hilarious' accents then, hey, there's little point in the director, producer etc arguing with The Great One and so they might as well bow to his every whim. I was under the impression that at least 90% of the acting profession was out of work at any one time but it seems no-one told this to Sellers and if they had, he clearly wasn't listening. This abomination really was another nail in the coffin as far as his career was concerned and it came as no surprise that Inspector Clouseau made a re-appearance a year of two after this unwatchable drivel was polluting the handful of movie theatres that the distributors decided to show it in.

One of the better 007 baddies, Curt Jurgens, was clearly desperate for the pay cheque as he makes an appearance alongside the likes of Windsor Davies ( no sign of Lofty though ) and Rula Lenska.

Brutal stuff. Don't say you weren't warned.

The tag line: "The film with Six Best Sellers in one!"

a) The word Best in that sentence is misleading; b) That sentence is funnier than the film itself.

"Soft Beds" is a very disjointed, rambling film set in World War 2. France is being invaded, and a local brothel seems to be getting mixed up in the conflict. A group of prostitutes, with help from a British and an American soldier, save Paris from being blown up by the Gestapo.

Well, there you have it. I don't think I'd need go on, as that sums up the whole rubbishness of the film adequately, but I think I might as well press on.

The only reason anyone may remember this film is because Peter Sellers plays six roles. However, none of them are impressive, and several are characterisations played with far better flair in his other films; the old man who is married but prefers to spend time with the young ladies was played a lot better in "Waltz of the Toreadors", whilst the Japanese man, with pidgin English, was funnier in "Murder by Death". Sellers also plays another French character who has about 3 minutes screentime and isn't worth remembering, a Gestapo leader who is neither funny nor menacing, and Adolf Hitler, there so that we can make a joke about the fact that the Fuhrer was racist. It sums up the tone of the film quite nicely. The only character played by Sellers who gets any laughs is a British officer, who has the same voice inflections as Captain Mandrake from "Strangelove", and is funny only because Sellers can say "Sod it!" in a funny way.

The film is just a long line of sketches involving prostitutes getting one over on the Nazis, with the British Sellers wandering in and out of the narrative to shoot someone. The rambling, unfunny plot, coupled with several scenes in which people die of flatulence, are the final nails in the coffin for this sorry film. In fact, the only fun one could get from this film is the fact that the cast list is chocker with actors and actresses you'll recognise from other shows (including Phillip Madoc, and good old Nick "the Brigadier in Doctor Who" Courtney, uncredited, and managing even to out-act Sellers with 3 lines). And Rula Lenska is topless in her first scene, which probably counts for something.

It's rubbish. Stay away. 3/10