SuperVan

This isn't a movie. It's ten minutes of story and 80 minutes of filler. Lots of great footage of vans slowly parking in rows and the zany partying antics of 70s van aficionados. All of this backed by an obnoxiously loud sound track consisting of terrible rock and folk songs. And if you hated the songs the first time you heard them, don't fret, you'll get to hear them again and again! I sincerely wish physical harm to those responsible for this auditory torture. Not even the sight of Katie Saylor in a tight sweater makes this movie worth suffering through. Torture from start to finish.

Mark Schneider ('Santa Barbara') stars as Clint Morgan, a young man who wants to strike out on his own rather than follow the path that his father has set for him. He plans on entering his van in a "Freakout Competition" for vanners, with his eyes on the $5000 grand prize. However, his van gets totalled after he saves Karen (Katie Saylor, "Invasion of the Bee Girls") from being raped, and her attackers give pursuit. But good fortune comes his way: good friend Bosley (TV veteran Tom Kindle) has designed a futuristic, solar powered "super van" dubbed "Vandora" which he lets Clint use. This puts Clint at odds with Karens' arrogant fat cat father T.B. Trenton (Morgan Woodward, "Moonshine County Express"), an auto industry hot shot who's already entered his own "Trenton Trucker" into the event.

"Supervan" is no great shakes; it doesn't have much of a story, for one thing. But it's still pretty good fun for lovers of 1970s drive-in cinema. It's got a respectable amount of vehicular action and stunts, a healthy dose of comedy, a wonderful soundtrack, and is overall an amiable, appealing portrait of "vanner" culture in the 70s. Some of these vans are quite impressive in their designs and art. Legendary custom vehicle creator George Barris designed the title mode of transportation, and also appears in the film as himself. Director Lamar Card ("The Clones") keeps it all reasonably upbeat and never too unpleasant, while still understanding the requirements of an exploitation picture from this era. (There are several loving close-up shots of ladies in wet T-shirts.) Adding a goofy, science fiction element is the fact that this van is equipped with a laser gun (!), allowing for a few cheesy effects.

Attractive couple Schneider and Saylor are engaging leads, and Kindle is likewise endearing in his key supporting role. Len "Uncle Leo" Lesser turns up as a cop, and Bruce Kimball ("Drive In Massacre") as Trentons' flunky. But the show is often stolen by excellent veteran character actor Woodward, who seems to be relishing the opportunity to chew on the scenery in some scenes.

If you're into vans, or just exploitation cinema in general, you're sure to have a decent time with this one.

Seven out of 10.

For someone outside the realm of vanning I could see how this movie could be confusing or even irritating, however, being a vanner I feel that this movie is a great portrayal of the vanning movement and all that it entails. Vandora, the Supervan, is excessive and borderline ridiculous, but that is what custom vans are all about. The documentation and on-location filming alone make this movie a classic. 2% Vanners Forever!!

Well, maybe not. I don't know because I haven't seen "Smokey..." since I was, I think, ten..? Anyway, this film is a curious document of the '70s, a real time capsule. The best parts (to me) are the semi-verite portions when the camera wanders around the fairgrounds where they're holding the big van 'freak-out' and just records the goings-on of this peculiar gathering. These segments, for me, capture something very essential about the '70s, moreso than just about any other film I've seen in a long time.

Have you ever read a trade journal? One of those magazines meant expressly for plumbers or welders and never intended for the general public? Full of weird lingo and with content so intensely fixed that it becomes almost comedic? This movie is a little like that. Made in the 1970's with a modest budget, this stinker is entirely about CUSTOM VAN CULTURE. Airbrushed unicorns, feathered hair, racing stripes, CB radios. And don't think for a moment that this is some kind of quirky, ironic documentary. It's a really bad narrative piece of fiction. There's sort of a plot. I think somebody has to win a van contest or something similarly morbid. There's a wacky professor that designs a van that shoots lasers for some reason. The soundtrack is all 70's soft rock about Vans. The ridiculousness of the whole thing shoots through the roof when Charles Bukowski wanders drunkenly through a party scene wearing a shirt that says "Water boy for the wet T-shirt contest" (maybe they lured extras by advertising free beer). Whoah man, this movie is so bad it feels like getting clubbed repeatedly with a dead howler monkey just trying to watch it. Of course, if you can stand it, and if you are a connoisseur of bad films, this one is pretty funny in its patheticness.