Supertrain

Or that's what I'm guessing the pitch for this show was.

Back in the 70's, one of the biggest shows was in fact "The Love Boat" which was a series based on a movie by the same name. Every week a colorful cast of characters on a big cruise ship, nicknamed "The Love Boat" would have some adventures, people would fall in love, there'd be banter with the crew and everything would be wrapped up in an hour's time.

Then in 1976 there was a spoof of disaster movies called "The Big Bus". The story of a giant nuclear powered bus with amenities like a bowling alley, bar / lounge, swimming pool, captain's dining room and a way to not only wash but change the tires without stopping.

Combine the two and you have one of the biggest flops on network TV called "Supertrain". It's the Love Boat on tracks. But the makers of this show seem to have forgotten something, namely the plot. While the Love Boat was a cheese fest , there was still the semblance of a plot there. The characters had motivations and reasons to be there. Whereas on Supertrain, it was the train that was the actual star. Sure you got 70's mainstays like Lyle Waggoner and Steve Lawrence to do guest starring roles but they honestly felt tacked on more than anything else.

It was the most expensive TV show made, during that time at least, and this is what led to NBC losing a ton of cash and almost going bankrupt.

It's a bad show that really should stay dead and buried.

If you weren't watching TV back in 1978-1979, you can't know how much hype NBC subjected the public to over this inane piece of fluff. For months before it premiered, at 10 minute intervals during prime time, there were commercials about this supposedly innovative series. The money spent on "Supertrain" and it's advertising would have helped everyone under the poverty line in America to buy a house and a car and still have money left over, and would have been much better spent. It was truly a case of overkill, especially when the series premiered and it was such a glittering piece of trash from the first moment.

There wasn't an interesting story during the entire run, just lots of flash; Hollywood will never learn that if the story is good everything else will fall into place. Each episode was the same. Lots of boring people boarding the train, the train moving somewhere, lots of boring people leaving the train. This sounds like "Loveboat" on the rails, and it was. But at least most of the episodes on "Loveboat" had a plot.

Fred Silverman took so much heat for this garbage, and he deserved it. His face was everywhere at the time, and he was being touted as a pioneer - all Hollywood hype. Suffice to say, "Supertrain" was his "Heaven's Gate," and it quickly died. There's no chance anyone will ever see this series again; it's simply not interesting enough to rebroadcast, thank goodness.

NBC seemed to have thought with this show....

Let's WOW them with FX, who cares about things like plot, story, characters, lines that the actors say, and so on.

It didn't work, sure the train looked cool and all, the rest was treated as window dressing or an afterthought, like we're spending all this cash on FX we better make sure it looks good, the rest will fall into place afterwords.

It's like let's dress it up and make it look pretty, that doesn't change the fact it's garbage, what they should of done from the get go is it should of been a COMEDY, there was no way to take the premise seriously, so why not ?

There was so much potential there to treat it as a big joke, kinda like Airplane ! Only on rails.

Of course the show could be redone today for a lot less, just CG all the Train shots, save millions right there, heck I made the Train for a video game called Trainz, I could just shoot in game footage and it'd look just like all the shots I remember from the show, and at 10 / 20,000,000th the cost, after all I bought my PC, Software & stuff, but it didn't cost anywhere near the cash they spent on the FX for the show alone.

Sure you'd still have to make the sets of the insides, but they shouldn't cost an arm & leg if you do it right, just build what you need for the first season, if you are ahead cash wise, build more for the second season, in other words just show very little of the train insides during that first season, if it's a hit & your making cash, instead of loosing it, then you add more sets.

That's how i'd do it anyway & I don't even work for NBC or anyone else in the biz.

Then again the average person is smarter then any TV network Execs ;)

C.T.C.

Supertrain looked like it had potential but NBC screwed it up big time. I remember seeing promos with train racing out of the Grand central tunnel all the time and watching Express to Terror then it disappeared. If NBC hadn't rushed it through production and let the writers make decent material it might have lasted longer. I wish someone would bring it back and get it right this time. Retooling a show is usually a death sentence for it. Why did they change things after three episodes? If your gonna spend that kind of money on a show you have better keep at it until it works. NBC put all their effect into getting the effects to look realistic but never tried to fix all scripts before any were filmed. I am guessing most of the screenplays were first or second draft versions.

Correction: George Boone was originally played by Harrison Page, but following a timeline breach somewhere around Episode 2, all characters were retroactively replaced by Ernest Borgnine - including the women, the children, and the train itself.

By the season finale, everyone on Supertrain was Ernest Borgnine. It wasn't explained. It wasn't acknowledged. It just was.

The Borgnine Convergence

In the future, individuality collapses into a unified Borgnine Field, where every citizen has: * The face of a grizzled Navy vet, * The soul of a man who's seen Poseidon Adventure too many times, * And the laugh of someone who definitely eats lunch at 10:45 AM.

It's not reincarnation. It's Borgnification.

"In the beginning, there was one Ernest.

In the end, there will only be Borgnine."

• Book of Ratings, Chapter 13, Supertrain Edition.