Lo stallone

Like most seventies softcore the film that put Joan Collins back on the map contains far more talk than rutting; and like anything thinking it's being really with-it it now looks far more dated than anything made in the fifties; compounded by the constant pounding disco music on the soundtrack.

As it meanders along it's garrulous way you also have plenty of time to marvel at the fact such a sorry collection of fashion disasters got so much more sex than any other generation before or since.

I can't pretend otherwise, I've always loved this film and it's one of my guilty pleasures for a rainy afternoon, or more likely a night in with a few drinks.

It's astoundingly dreary looking: apart from Joan's soft focus entrance there is precious little opulence on display. The film is low-lit and rather seedy looking. The opening credits sequence remarkably switches from day to night and back again! But right from the start, when the incredibly beautiful Felicity departs after a night with Tony, and then the sequence of him dressing and going out to the sound of the irresistible theme tune (watch Oliver Tobias trying to say "you handsome bastard" tro himself as quietly as possible!), this is a classic quotealong movie. Some of the one liners are great: "they ask for comics and a bag of sweets you give 'em penthouse and amyl nitrate" and best of all "there are two sorts of women in this world. The first sort pick you up and screw you, the second sort pick your brains and screw you up." It's rubbish of course, but however good it may or may not be its about the disco scene and shagging so it will always be seen in that way.

Whatever happened to the director? Oliver Tobias is rather underused in the film it must be said: he doesn't have much to do and is rather overshadowed by super-bitch Fontaine. But the soundtrack is great, and the film is fun. And the scenes with Tony and his pals are the best in the movie. Those three deserved a series! But why does Ben return the video to Fontaine? Surely he'll need it as evidence?

Artistically this film probably deserves its average 2-3 out of 10 rating on IMDb, but to watch it for artistic reasons is a mistake. This is a film that simply went out to make as much money as possible and in that respect it was a big (and rare UK) success. So while the much mocked health spa/ swimming pool orgy scene is unarguably pure hokum, its purpose was simply to get film goers talking about all the raunchy scenes, as was the sex in the lift scene. Other great word of mouth devices are using the hugely popular (among men of a certain age) Pans People/ Legs & Co in the dancing scenes and cashing in on the disco craze. Simply as a fan of cinema these devices are of great interest. To top it all there is a surprisingly good film poster for a film supposedly of no artistic merit. After watching it after all these years (too young at the time) I am impressed that the rather pathetic British film industry of this time was capable of making such a venal and direct money spinner.

The R2 double-feature DVD of this film, along with its sequel THE BITCH (1979; see below), had been available for rental through my local DVD outlet for quite some time - and, though I had been tempted to check it out time and again, I finally took the plunge after having watched star Joan Collins in another sexy role in ...CAN HEIRONYMUS MERKIN EVER FORGET MERCY HUMPPE AND FIND TRUE HAPPINESS? (1969).

Based on the lurid novel by Joan's own sister, Jackie Collins, the film isn't for anyone looking for quality cinema; cheesy, sleazy trash - set in London and accompanied by a dated disco soundtrack - that's filled with copious but unerotic nudity. Collins, at least, is clearly having fun with her bitchy role; Oliver Tobias is the would-be stud who finds himself to be merely a pawn in her game (and who, predictably, finds real love in the arms of Collins' teenage step-daughter); while Walter Gotell (a regular in the James Bond extravaganzas) is her betrayed but vengeful diplomat husband.

The Stud (1978)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Incredibly silly but sleazy "drama" about Fontaine (Joan Collins), a woman married to a very rich man but whose having an affair with Tony (Oliver Tobias), the stud running their club. Poor Tony is good looking and has an unlimited number of great looking women wanting to sleep with him but before long the stud begins to feel sorry for himself.

THE STUD is a pretty awful movie that came out of nowhere and somehow became a very big hit. Who knows why something like this would have become a hit but I'm going to guess that part of the reason was the awful disco era that was going on at the time and the fact that someone like Collins was going full nudity and trashy with the material. Yes, the film is sleazy, campy and at times trashy but that still doesn't make for a lot of entertainment.

The biggest problem with the film is that none of the characters are all that entertaining. I've read some reviews that complained that none of them were likable but that I really don't care about. You don't have to have likable characters for a movie to work but you do need to have some that are interesting. All of the characters here were rather forgettable and boring. The same could be said for the performances but it seems the two leads are having fun with their roles and especially Collins and her bitch quality.

The film became somewhat notorious for the various bits of nudity and sex. The highlight of all of this is a bizarre pool orgy sequence, which is just campy enough to where you can have a good laugh at its expense. The film is certainly a very bad one but it remains mildly interesting just because of the weird stuff going on. Did I mention the awful title song, which was clearly ripping off the SHAFT theme?