Sette uomini d'oro nello spazio

This has to be one of the worst films I've experienced so far from my trusty Mill Creek 50-film 'Nightmare Worlds' pack (on twelve double-sided DVDs, no less), and it did a further injustice at being way too long. Usually these turn out to be just over an hour, so if it's an unpleasant bore, all you have to do is blink and it's over, but this was almost two hours long. There were many ways in which the filmmakers tried to rip off and cash in on much better films--you can tell that their C3PO-type robot, that's supposed to be the perfect bartender, was designed using a garbage can; and the English title distinctly culls from both 'Star Wars' and '2001: A Space Odyssey', both legendary masterworks of the genre. Yet there WERE some interesting ideas of merit, which much better scriptwriters and directors could have really done fine things with (intergalactic auctions of planets being but one of them), so I couldn't discount the film altogether. I'm simply glad it's over and done with, and I will never bother watching it again.

In conclusion, it's only worth a look if you REALLY like bad films or sci-fi and don't mind that it's very poorly made--otherwise, give it a wide berth and simply move on.

I remember when my great great grandfather was on his deathbed he said these words to me 'son, whatever you do, never watch an Italian sci-fi movie'. After receiving this sage advice I sadly turned away, only for him to weakly call me back and say 'especially if it is an Alfonso Bescia space opera, those are particularly crap'.

I have subsequently watched several Italian sci-fi films over the years, four of which have been Alfonso Brescia efforts. I should have followed my great great grandfather's advice as watching all four Brescia films has been as much fun as being hit full on the face with a bag full of broken glass. This one like all of them feature space wars in which the villains are androids who look like Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones circa 1968. In this one we have an evil despot called Kress who uses his android army to enslave mankind; he is opposed by a small group of stereotypes and robots, who save the day. The date of this film should give you a clue that it is surfing the wave of Star Wars and to that end there is a light-saber battle where the Brian Joneses fight our heroes. Well, I say 'light-saber' but given the origins of this film, it should be no surprise to learn that technically it is a 'cardboard swords painted with fluorescent paint' battle. Interestingly the technology magazine Popular Mechanics reviewed this movie back in the day declaring it a 'dreadful trashpile'. A final note for film academics, the title this one went under in West Germany was 'Metallica'.

Well, as an Italian American, I am obligated to at least try to see the myriad of Italian space flicks; this being one of the worst.

I LOVED Mario Bava's Planet of the Vampires, and his other very hip and "neato"(as in "gee that's real neato, Batman!") BUT this one is watchable only for the costumes, the babes, and the pretty good ships effects.

I DID love(and still own) War of The Robots", which has a good story and a good "family feeling" among the characters who make up the spaceship crew and their alien allies.

If you like hot Italian babes, post "Space 1999" space uniforms, and ships, you will like this film If you want a good story or even a semi-well written one, steer clear of this one!

This is an effort at an outrageous space epic, where nothing is funny and the characters are about as bland and inconsequential as one can get. Once again the earth is threatened (actually it has been purchased). The population is going to be enslaved once this guy, who has a face like a hand grenade does what he does to them. The silly people of earth have to depend on some guy whom they treat badly, but who has great powers to repel the force. There are some idiotic droids, especially a male and female (for whatever reason), who provide what I guess is comic relief. The whole thing is a joke. We never really get what the powers are. We never really understand the strategies. There are, however, a group of androids who dress like Carol Channing. Now that could have been funny.

Out of boredom, my friends and I decided to have ourselves a "worst movie marathon". Among the titles we rented were "la guerre de l'espace en l'an 3000", "La soupe au chou", " Como rubare la corena de Ingleterra" and "Space Oddysey (english title of this movie)". Although all the movies were disgusting and hard to watch, this one had to be the worst...

Here are a few things that stood out...

• A male and a female robot ( she has metal eyelashes) in love!

• A woman scientist working in a tight leather "swim suit"

• A gymnast fighter ( we dubbed him "mr exercise" ) who jumps around during the movie

• A hero who walks around like he is constipated

• An army of evil "droids" with blond wigs and silver suits

The characters are not developed, ( some seem to come out of thin air) and the villain is laughable.

The thing that got me the most, though, is the fact that this movie has no end, literally; Music covers the dialog in the last scene, were everything unfolds.

Really, this is something you should try to find at your local videostore.

-1,5 * :)