The Playbirds

This is a strange one ...whoever was in charge of directorial reins did not know if they were making a carry on style comedy ..a hardcore porn movie...a cop thriller in the style of the sweeney ..or an outright Horror movie replete with Psychopath ...-the end result is a confuse mish mash , not without some appeal --but with a lot of 'Non-appeal' at the same time..adding to the Euston-films cop show feel is Glynn Murphy ( Dave from minder ) as a detective sergeant who actually has the funniest line in the whole movie ( when i say it is 'F off' you will know the overall standard of writing )--his associate is the bloke off 'Thats life' and there are cameos from famous British faces including Derren Nesbitt whose screentime amounts to 2 mins and he looks like a Treacle-sponge ...-Sad spectacle in a way yet remains watchable for its entire duration ..when the 'supposedly shocking ending' comes you think ...yeah , that about makes sense ..-overall worth a watch for the nudity and dodgy performances .

THE PLAYBIRDS is another late '70s sexploitation effort from Britain, but like most of the others it really isn't much cop. Mary Millington appears as a female police officer who agrees to help some detectives in their hunt for a serial killer, but there are so many characters here she just sort of gets lost in the masses. Familiar faces pop up the cast but don't get very much to do, although it's amusing to see TV presenter Gavin Campbell as the lead. The mystery aspects are very poorly handled and the closing reveal is as uninteresting as they come. Expect wall to wall nudity, as per usual by genre standards, and a particularly angry Alan Lake performance.

"The Playbirds", which I found - to my great surprise - in Netflix' catalogue, is a movie that really can't decide what it wants to be. Shall we go for a raw and mean-spirited British giallo about a serial killer who targets nude models in London's raunchy underbelly? Or do we aim for a simply and profitable sexploitation flick? That's what the producers must have been discussing about before landing on the unwise decision of doing a combo. And, to make things even worse, there's also a lot of irrelevant gibberish around witchcraft and too much boring horseracing footage.

The (strictly blond) centerfold models of the London nude-magazine "Playbird" are found brutally strangled in their apartments; - not raped but with serial numbers marked on their foreheads. The magazine's editor-in-chief is the police's principal suspect, but he's mainly just interested in bedding the models and gamble on horse races. After four victims, of which the last one was killed practically in front of them, the incompetent police inspectors are under so much pressure they decide to use a sexy female cop as undercover bait.

The suspense and whodunit aspects are vastly inferior to showing as much full-frontal nudity as humanly possible. The absolute low point of the film is when the two inspectors hold "casting sessions" themselves, during which they call in policewomen into their office, request them to strip off all their clothes and leave again. It doesn't get any more gratuitous than this.

There were some great things in the UK in 1978, Kenny Dalglish, Siouxsie Sioux, Kate Bush and David Bowie, but this all pails into insignificance to this utter twaddle. This is one of the worst films I've ever seen (and I've seen Society (1989)). The fact that the late Mary Millington is probably the best thing in this sorry mess of a film tells it's own story. The fact also that some famous faces are also in this guff like Glynn Edwards, Kenny Lynch and Dudley Sutton, they must all have needed a quick buck to appear. On the plus side for all involved the only way was up, apart for Millington and the late Alan Lake.

Well, it's one way to build circulation for your porn mag - make an X-rated thriller about it, as David Sullivan did, even hinting that the pornographer in the story could be trying to keep his own magazine (also conveniently called 'Playbirds') in the public eye by arranging for each centrefold model to be brutally murdered, just as the publication hits the street.

We can't name the killer, of course, but we can tell you that the suspects make a colourful line-up, providing an excuse for some varied location scenes, ranging from Speakers' Corner through Newmarket racecourse to a forest where some rather extreme witchcraft rituals look like getting out of hand...

Funniest is the moment when the baffled detectives think it's time to send in an undercover female cop to charm the publisher into giving her a centrefold, so they have to start by holding auditions at Scotland Yard. Mary Millington carries no conviction whatever as a police officer, but she certainly makes one heck of a stripper, and should have exploited the surprisingly common policewoman fetish with plenty of slow peeling-off of the dark blue livery of the law.

Nobody could watch this film without noting the sad irony that two of the young stars committed suicide soon after: first Millington herself, swamped by drugs and tax-bills, and then the alcoholic Alan Lake, unable to cope with the premature death of his wife Diana Dors. This reflects a haunting theme, the mystic link between mating and death - the porn-stars we're conditioned to envy in their little plastic heaven, with every carnal satisfaction laid-on like a tray of snacks, yet forever tainted by elements of the cynical and the criminal. Reminding us in the end that this branch of entertainment promises everything but delivers nothing.

The Playbirds is not as predictable or monotonous as other low-budget soft-porn features, thanks to a number of mainstream actors like Windsor Davies, Gavin Campbell and Dudley Sutton. There are some good dramatic situations too, but they don't really gel, and the scripting and directing by Willie Roe is disappointing.