Il pianeta dei dinosauri

Planet of Dinosaurs is an ultra cheesy camp sci-fi tale that leaves a lot to be desired.

It tells the story of a spaceship (With oddly skeletal crew) which crash lands on a planet filled with dinosaurs. They must seek shelter, food and safety and figure out their next move.

With sfx that are bad even for the day, they look like plastic childrens toys used for stop motion animation. The performances are generic, the cinematography is lifeless and the thing doesn't scream B-movie it screams D and that's perhaps me being kind.

When dinosaurs are on screen it's cringe inducing, when they aren't it's incredibly boring. Ugly, lifeless mess.

The Good:

Concept isn't terrible

The Bad:

Looks hideous

Criminally boring in places

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Moustaches were a legal requirement in the 1970's

Space outfits in the 70's for women looked like they should have a Hooters logo on them

If you have people rooting for the dinosaurs, you've ballsed up

They didn't have the budget to get that one guy a shirt

Remember the first 40 minutes of the original "Planet of the Apes" in which the surviving team of a spacecraft explore the desert-like environment of the mysterious planet wherein they crash? (It was the best part of the movie, except for the very end). Okay, imagine that scenario for an entire 84 minute flick, albeit WITHOUT notable actors, great soundtrack and first-rate filmmaking; not to mention replace the apes with dinosaurs. If you can picture that, and it sounds like your cup of java, you might want to pick up "Planet of the Dinosaurs."

This film is so amateurishly done on most levels that the average person would likely rate it pretty low. I grant it 5/10 Stars, however, for five reasons:

• The picture was filmed at Vasquez Rocks, Northeast of Los Angeles (I visited this park in July of 2003). If you're not in the know, this location is where many of the original Star Trek episodes where filmed, such as "Arena" wherein Captain Kirk fights the Lizardman.

• The stop-motion dinosaur animation is very good for the time period and, I hear, won some kind of an award when the film was released in the late '70s. It's pretty much on a par with "One Million Years B.C."

• There are four (count 'em, four) female survivors of the space wreck and two of them are babes (the other two aren't that bad either, that is, if you're stranded on a deserted planet). One beauty unfortunately gets eaten almost immediately, but the other survives for quite awhile. The latter, by the way, appears to be of Native American ancestry and her tight outfit shows off her midrift and bellybutton the entire stint she appears in the film. And, trust me, if you have any doubt that American Indian women can be truly beautiful, you need to see this fine piece of womanhood.

• After the first 20-30 minutes I was able to mentally adjust and accept the film's limitations; I strangely started to get into the story at this point and even care about the characters.

• Lastly, this is definitely not a kiddy flick, nor is it goofy, comedic or even campy. It's a serious sci-fi story.

If "Planet of the Dinosaurs" had better actors, sound, music and worked out various other kinks in the story, direction, etc. I would give it a higher rating.

BOTTOM LINE: It's worth picking up if (like me) you're a sucker for Sci-fi survival-on-deserted-planet type flicks. Just keep in mind it's strictly Grade Z and mental adjustments will have to be made to appreciate it.

"Planet of the Dinosaurs" has garnered a worthy "guilty pleasure" spot in the cult/independent film section of my video library.

GRADE: C+

Planet of the Dinosaurs is one of the funniest unintentional comedy movies that I have ever seen. It is right up there with "Twin Sitters," "The Ice Cream Man," and "Maniac Cop 3." The acting is awful, the special affects are terrible even for their time (Star Wars came out a year before it), and the logic of the crew is comparable to a pack of drunk gorillas.

The only saving grace of the film is Harvey Shain's performance. His wisecracks are second to none, and he seems to be the only one that realizes what a piece of crap he is appearing in, and therefore doesn't take it seriously. He also has the funniest death scene ever recorded on film.

The only reason I would recommend this movie is for a good laugh.

A spaceship crashes on a planet inhabited by dinosaurs and the (young, attractive, and scantily-dressed) crew struggles to stay alive. The special effects (the stop-motion dinosaurs) surprisingly good, for a low budget film. One by one members of the crew get eaten by carnivores, and you never know which one will be next. The debates amongst the crew members about various survival strategies are actually fairly reasonable, if you can get past the bad acting.

If you want to hear it with comedy riffs, get the "Rifftrax" version.

I gave this sci-fi outing a 5 because of the incredible special effects. A stranded space crew must fend for itself on a primitive planet full of dinosaurs and the like. The dinosaurs are classic stop motion creatures, most probably by Jim Danforth, a student of Ray Harryhausen's and best known for his work on "The Outer Limits" and "Jack the Giant Killer." Danforth, if it was indeed he who worked on this film, obviously learned well from the master, not just the quality of the stop motion work but the blending of live and animated footage, employing a technique invented by Harryhausen called Dynamation or Super Dynamation. The human actors in this flick are pretty awful, and the plot is from nowheresville. But the dinosaurs make up for a good deal. I understand Harryhausen visited the set during production, so I'm not surprised by the excellence of the animated sequences..