Il pianeta dei dinosauri

First of all, this movie is awful - not good awful, worse, mediocre awful. Somewhere in California in the mid '70's someone was stoned and watched Planter of Apes and One Million Years BC one night and thought, Dude, I've got an idea for a movie!

Ah the 1970's where every man had a beard or mustache, space uniforms were tight polyester and Rule #1 was no one could look look dirty despite falling, running, etc.

I'm guessing they filmed the movie in days without ever doing a retake or, at the very least, only 1 retake was allowed per shot. Good enough was the mantra.

The Dinosaur stop motion was passable given the budget and direction.

Honestly this moving screams TV movie w/o any of the B or C List actors involved. Maybe the guy who was stoned when coming up with this movie had the right idea, watch with "help"

One of the amusing things about this movie is that it looks so much like a porno film, but instead of sex you get action scenes with pretty well done effects.

The rest is a laugh riot; but a touchingly well meaning one. You can now find this film on a "Goodtimes" video release with the watershead dino/kids flick "Journey To The Beginning Of Time" on a double bill. If you dig dinos and the seventies, you could hardly do better.

Remember the first 40 minutes of the original "Planet of the Apes" in which the surviving team of a spacecraft explore the desert-like environment of the mysterious planet wherein they crash? (It was the best part of the movie, except for the very end). Okay, imagine that scenario for an entire 84 minute flick, albeit WITHOUT notable actors, great soundtrack and first-rate filmmaking; not to mention replace the apes with dinosaurs. If you can picture that, and it sounds like your cup of java, you might want to pick up "Planet of the Dinosaurs."

This film is so amateurishly done on most levels that the average person would likely rate it pretty low. I grant it 5/10 Stars, however, for five reasons:

• The picture was filmed at Vasquez Rocks, Northeast of Los Angeles (I visited this park in July of 2003). If you're not in the know, this location is where many of the original Star Trek episodes where filmed, such as "Arena" wherein Captain Kirk fights the Lizardman.

• The stop-motion dinosaur animation is very good for the time period and, I hear, won some kind of an award when the film was released in the late '70s. It's pretty much on a par with "One Million Years B.C."

• There are four (count 'em, four) female survivors of the space wreck and two of them are babes (the other two aren't that bad either, that is, if you're stranded on a deserted planet). One beauty unfortunately gets eaten almost immediately, but the other survives for quite awhile. The latter, by the way, appears to be of Native American ancestry and her tight outfit shows off her midrift and bellybutton the entire stint she appears in the film. And, trust me, if you have any doubt that American Indian women can be truly beautiful, you need to see this fine piece of womanhood.

• After the first 20-30 minutes I was able to mentally adjust and accept the film's limitations; I strangely started to get into the story at this point and even care about the characters.

• Lastly, this is definitely not a kiddy flick, nor is it goofy, comedic or even campy. It's a serious sci-fi story.

If "Planet of the Dinosaurs" had better actors, sound, music and worked out various other kinks in the story, direction, etc. I would give it a higher rating.

BOTTOM LINE: It's worth picking up if (like me) you're a sucker for Sci-fi survival-on-deserted-planet type flicks. Just keep in mind it's strictly Grade Z and mental adjustments will have to be made to appreciate it.

"Planet of the Dinosaurs" has garnered a worthy "guilty pleasure" spot in the cult/independent film section of my video library.

GRADE: C+

Planet of Dinosaurs was one of those movies which I wanted for ages but got hold of it eventually.

A spaceship crashes onto a mysterious planet and its occupants discover they are millions of years into the past as this planet is occupied by dinosaurs (more of which later). After setting up camp following the spaceship's sinking in a lake, they explore the planet and start to live like stone age man. Several of the crew are eaten by the dinosaurs and the survivors accept they will be never rescued and have no choice but to make this planet their home.

Now to those dinosaurs, which are done in stop-motion and look excellent. These include a T-Rex, Stegosaurus, Brontosaurus, Policanthus and also a giant spider.

The cast is made up mostly of unknowns and their acting is certainly not brilliant.

Despite this, I rather enjoyed this movie and is worth watching just for the dinosaurs.

Rating: 4 stars out of 5.

Planet of the Dinosaurs is one of the funniest unintentional comedy movies that I have ever seen. It is right up there with "Twin Sitters," "The Ice Cream Man," and "Maniac Cop 3." The acting is awful, the special affects are terrible even for their time (Star Wars came out a year before it), and the logic of the crew is comparable to a pack of drunk gorillas.

The only saving grace of the film is Harvey Shain's performance. His wisecracks are second to none, and he seems to be the only one that realizes what a piece of crap he is appearing in, and therefore doesn't take it seriously. He also has the funniest death scene ever recorded on film.

The only reason I would recommend this movie is for a good laugh.