If Ever I See You Again

Saw this movie back in the mid-80's on HBO just as I'd gone to work for a medium-sized advertising agency. The best parts of this film are the ones where Joe Brooks has to pitch his music to clients and deal with them in the recording studio along with their ignorance and complete lack of knowledge. As a jingle writer and producer, Joe knows this dynamic very well, and as portrayed here, it's dead-on - the most accurate and honest part of the film. It's extremely relatable if you're in the advertising business. Joe Brooks probably has a hundred stories that are just as funny and inane as the ones presented here, maybe enough for an entire film. That might wear thin pretty quickly, but it would more entertaining than the bulk of "If Ever I See You Again."

This movie has to be seen to be believed. It fails miserably on every level. Fortunately, Joe Brooks handled the direction, writing, and lead acting role himself, so there are fewer people to blame for it.

As a romantic lead, Joe has about as much appeal as a potted plant. His leading lady, Shelley Hack, acts as though she were posing for the picture on front of a box of All Bran. It's pretty bad when the most professional acting performance in a movie is delivered by a little girl (Danielle Brisebois).

Joe plays a jingle writer who dreams of being a serious musician, even though all of his "serious" songs still sound like extended jingles, and the classical piece he composes to show off his true talent would be better suited for a group of musical saw players instead of an orchestra. Watching his dramatic gestures as he conducts this ear-splitting opus in the recording studio, as the dazzled Shelley Hack grins at him like a stuffed loon, is one of the most unintentionally hilarious scenes ever filmed.

Joe was obviously hoping for another big chart-topper like "You Light Up My Life", but its inexplicable success was not to be matched by the cringe-inducing dirge that is this film's theme song. I don't know who performed it, but he doesn't sing it as much as he suffers through it. He seems to be battling his way through a particularly intense bout of constipation as he strains to expel the stomach-churning lyrics. But I doubt if even Debby Boone could've made this song any more tolerable.

When I saw this movie on HBO several years ago, I just had to have it. I watch my tape every so often just to gape in wide-eyed amazement at how truly awful a movie can be. As a bad-movie lover, I hold this perversely-entertaining cinematic messterpiece in high esteem -- it's the PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE of romantic movies, and truly one of the worst films ever made.

I love to watch movies from the 1970s, especially romances, to check out the cheesy clothes, huge, poofy hair, bad disco music, etc. This and Moment by Moment, made the same year, win 1978's most cheesy romances of the year. Shelley Hack, who went on to replace Kate Jackson on Charlie's Angels, is beautiful but looks uncomfortable throughout. I've read she asks interviewers not to mention this film. Joe Brooks, who basically did everything in this movie (co-star, director, writer, producer, wrote and arranged the music), can't save the film either.

Still, if you love cheesy 70s movies, you'll lap this one up!

Piece of garbage about a widowed man (Joseph Brooks) who finds new love with a college flame (Shelley Hack)...but will it last? You seriously won't care.

Badly acted (Hack is so bad you stare at the TV in disbelief), poor direction with some really terrible songs (although the title song was a minor hit). I heard this movie was a good one for romantics--I'm a big romantic myself but I HATED this thing. It's done so poorly in so many departments it boggles the mind. If you want to see a good movie about a man finding love after his wide died get "Chapter Two". THAT one is fun, romantic and believable with a knockout performance by Marsha Mason. This one lacks everything the first one has.

When it first came out they actually had an advertising campaign telling guys to take someone they loved and lost to this movie--it might bring them back together (!!!!) My guess is if anyone took a woman to this movie she probably still hates him to this day!

There are different types of bad movies.

This falls into the pretentious bad category, which is the most fun. It is the sort of movie created by someone who takes himself far, far too seriously. He has a degree of talent but not nearly as much as he thinks he has so his strivings for Meaning and Significance and Truth are as clichéd as .... a commercial.

Joe Brooks, a jingle writer of the era, was the 'creative genius' behind this effort. Director, writer, star, teeth grindingly sappy ballad writer. Hey, it was the 'auteur' era so why not get in on the action ? Fortunately, the summer special effects blockbuster was discovered at precisely that time so the threat of Joe Brooks, auteur, was nipped in the bud.