King Solomon's Treasure

This movie deserved a working over on Mystery Science Theater. Even though it has nothing whatever to do with King Solomon it's worth a watch because it is an unintentional laugh-riot. Really! It's worse than "Destroy All Monsters." Be sure to check out the following: the cheesy medallion (looks like the Shriners have been here), the obviously polyester Norfolk jacket on "Allan Quatermain," David MaCallum's badly done stutter (which does draw attention away from his even worse acting), the incredibly bad process work on all the "monsters," the monsters themselves - the hand puppet which menaces the little girl, the giant snake that menaces Macallum while he sinks in oatmeal, the red-lighted eyes on the motorized crabs, the amazingly hilarious boat (oh, brother!!) which appears to be made of plywood mounted on an old sand dredge and looks like a leftover from a Jr.Sr. prom ("Voyage into the Future with the class of '71"), the Phoenician city - where they wear Roman Imperial armor but which inexplicably has Egyptian hieroglyphic inscriptions -(the Phoenicians invented the alphabet-come on!),and worst of all, Macallum and Ekland (with her fright wig) playing smoochy-face -oh the horror! The best parts are that the intrepid explorers manage to lose the comic Frenchman ,and the African guy -Snuffleupagus or whatever - evidently chose to die heroically rather than be in any more scenes.

John colicos as alan quartermain is as bad as throwing out the baby with the bath water ...why not david ? in fact why not anyone else ? bufoonary at its best, but i'd watch britt eckland in anything if she got naked

Dinosaurs, monsters that never existed, a stuttering coward Sir Henry, a womanizing pool sharp Captain Good and video so dark and blurred it hard to see anything. The best thing about the movie was it's ending, no, not how it ended but that the torturous movie finally ended.

I didn't want to give it a one star but that was the lowest I could go.

This won't be everybody's cup of tea, however it is a much better version than even the Richard Chamberlain versions are. Chamberlain did a fine Quatermain, MacNee does it very, very well though. As does Ken Gampu playing Umpslopogas as he did with Richard Chamberlain's version playing Umbopo.

From the beginning to the end, this is not a highly polished or high dollar production, but it is very well done for the era it was made in. As a bonus for the guys, somehow they even slipped in quite a few "native" girls jiggling their jigglers in a dance scene.

The plot was done with the standard formula of: Old gentleman telling the story of Lost Treasure, the travel to the Dark Continent, the river with alligators. Then jiggers jiggling, the bad guys (native priests in this case, again) haughty queen, lost treasure, and tragedy while the last three finally walk off into the setting sun.

Don't enter with high expectations of lavish sets and multitudes of extras being killed, used, or dying and this can be a good viewing.

I love adventure novels, and am a huge fan of H. Rider Haggard, so when I saw the vhs copy of this film at a yardsale I just had to pick it up. Was it worth it? Yes, I will say it is. Do not listen to the haters, this film is not that bad. It still has its problems though. The production wasnt great so the sound gets kind of low and warbly during some segments. Also the effects are lackluster, but I can forgive that for this being a LOW-BUDGET film from the 1970'S, also for the fact that the director was a TV director, and this film was the only cinema released film he did along with one other film which I have not seen. So i can forgive that issue at least. But the film has some fast paced action scenes and actual tension placed neatly. If you are a fan of old style adventure films, and treasure hunts for that matter, this would be your kind of film. 6 out of 10.