La gang della spider rossa

I didn't enjoy a movie this much for quite some time. Brains off, laughter on, push play and enjoy. Many brag about it being unrealistic. Damn, people, this is Disney comedy for kids. It is not supposed to be realistic, it is supposed to be fun and it's very successful in it. For almost two hours I was elementary school boy once again, just relaxing after school and watching good old-fashioned TV. I have no objections to this movie, except maybe car chase scene being too long. I recommend it to everyone with all my heart.

7/10

Duke and Bert played (Eavin and Don Knotts) are two safe-cracking burglars who are out to bust out their big job. They plan to rob the safe of a millionaire. Unfortunately they get entangled with the two grand kids of the millionaire. The grand kids want to run away and force the bank robbers to chaperone them. A comic Disney movie that proves that crime may not pay, but it can be funny.

It undoubtedly runs for too long, but 'No Deposit, No Return' still satisfied me.

It has a similar vibe to it as 'Candleshoe', which Disney released roughly twelve months after this. The plots are different, but there are a few things that I found alike; the obvious being David Niven, who appears as the older gentleman in both, as well as his character's living room; that latter claim is based on my memory only, mind.

Niven is good in this, though he's doesn't really do that much - at least compared to his co-stars. The two kid actors are solid, Kim Richards the standout; almost a year after Disney viewers saw her in 'Escape to Witch Mountain'. Darren McGavin and Don Knotts are a fun duo, while Herschel Bernardi - who reminded me a lot of Nick Sandow in terms of looks - does well too.

The plot is ridiculous, but I actually found enough entertainment in it - mostly thanks to the aforementioned cast. The humour, while nothing LOL-worthy, is satisfactory. My only true negative is the pacing of the run time. It's fine, but this story would've been perfect for 90mins; rather than 112mins - those extra minutes are very noticeable and, ultimately, add little.

When all is said and done, though, I had a suitable time with this.

Two would-be safecrackers at Los Angeles airport, nice guys who have 72 hours to pay off a $9K debt to mobsters, wind up as custodians to two pre-teen runaways, siblings out of prep school (with a pet skunk!) who want to fly to Hong Kong to see their mother. The kids get cozy with the not-so-crooked crooks and ransom themselves out to get their friends out of trouble. Out-of-touch Disney comedy with one big slapstick set-piece: the skunk gets loose on the beams of a skyscraper under construction (Don Knotts goes to rescue it and ends up with a bucket stuck on his head). Formula whimsy given a slight professional shine from David Niven and Darren McGavin, but the chattering tykes (Kim Richards and Brad Savage) are a nuisance and Knotts is on auto-pilot. * from ****

If Disney had their way in this world, It would be the world as it portrayed in this film:

*Mom works for a magazine. I think she's divorced, though the word divorce isn't mentioned.

*She has two kids, Jay & Tracy.

*Now, Mom is detained in Hong Kong during their Easter vacation.(Any one ever heard of Easter vacation, or did I miss something when I was growing up in the seventies?)

*The kids have a skunk as a pet!!(It's unthinkable that a child of any age would want a skunk as a pet) I forgot-this is not the real world! This is after all the world according to Disney.

*Jay utters the words "If mom can't bring her vacation to us, we'll take ours to her" But Tracy is realistic. She says "Where do we get the $1200 to pay for the two airline tickets?" Yea right! In the real world, this is unthinkable! But don't forget-this is not the real world.

*Two men try to rob a safe at an airport, they get away of course-not successful in their attempt to get the money. The two kids get in the same cab as the two robbers at the same time! They go to their hide out. They own a garage, and they are building high rises on both sides of it. Is this for real? It must be according to Disney!

*The Grandfather sees the two kids go inside the hideout with the robbers, but he doesn't call the police Instead he want to teach the children how to be better citizens. Do grandfathers let their grandchildren go inside a hideout with a couple of robbers? They do at least According to Disney!

*Try this: Two gangsters are after Duke & Bert, because they owe them $7000.00. $9000.00? $11.000? $13.000? They failed at their airport robbery, now they have 72 hours to get the money. What to do? Tracy has an idea: Stage a kidnapping, have grandfather pay the ransom who is a millionaire. Let's see if I get this straight: Grandfather wants to teach the children to be better citizens only to get a ransom note from the so called "kidnappers"? I guess this is normal according to Disney.

*After sometime, grandfather calls the police. Mom hears about the "Kidnapping" and she returns................

I could go on, but that would give it away! You get the picture? I know this is only a movie-but it's interesting to note a contrast between the real world and the world according to Disney. The events depicted are unthinkable and unrealistic.

Where do script writers get the ideas for this trash? I have no idea, but I do know this: They have a perverted view of the world. I enjoy this film though. Just don't forget: It's not the real world, but the world according to Disney!