Hollywood Boulevard

This is a fun movie, especially if you like filmmaking you can apreciate the silly movie making gags. I wasn't expecting much when i rented this movie, but i ended up being entertained from beginning to end. It is stuffed full of nudity and silly humor to make this a sugercoated fluffy bunnyhop throught the Glitter Dome.

In the autumn of 1975, Roger Corman set out to make the fastest, cheapest drive-in movie in the history of New World Pictures. This wild, uproarious cult classic is the result. Candice Rialson is Candy Hope, a starry-eyed Midwestern beauty hoping to make it big on that street of dreams, only to find that the glitter is just glass from broken liquor bottles. Instead, she ends up as a contract starlet with Miracle Pictures, a prolific B-movie factory grinding out sleaze epics for the passion pits of America (sound familiar?). Dick Miller is her agent. The always-fantastic Mary Woronov is Mary McQueen, the studio's Amazonian leading lady who has no patience with the new crop of upstarts ("You get your boobs in front of a camera and you're ready to jump into the cement!"). Everyone is shipped to the Philipines to shoot Machete Maidens of Moratau, with Paul Bartel as the director ("Your motivation is to massacre 3,000 Asiatic soldiers."). The film is pieced together with stock footage from other New World masterpieces, particularly Death Race 2000, with Candy donning David Carradine's famous leather mask. A kid at a drive-in cries out for more sex, while his parents deride the movie as "sick" and "worse than television." A drive down Hollyweird shows the famous Pussycat Theatre and various adult bookstores and massage parlors. A romantic interlude is serenaded by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen, belting out a raucous, dirty country tune. Mary's name is superimposed onto the poster for Untamed Mistress. Robbie the Robot refuses to do nudity. B-movie in-jokes come thick and fast, including a girl stabbed to death on a bed frame a la Snuff. The whole thing looks great, especially for $60,000, and is consistently hilarious--especially Mary, complete with cigarette holder and the vocabulary of a sailor. A bona fide drive-in classic. And remember..."If it's a good picture, it's a Miracle!"

Ultra-cheap even by New World Pictures standards, naive go-getter with stars in her eyes Candice Rialson ("my friends call me Candy") finds herself the reluctant débutante in a z-grade Phillipino actioner when her shonky agent (Miller) signs her up for stunt work in the latest film of the "Miracle Pictures" assembly line. The last stunt girl died as a result of the paltry set conditions but Candy is willing to give almost anything a go if it means an opportunity to make it big. Initially duped into robbing a bank that she thinks is a hidden camera role, "Hollywood Boulevard" chronicles Candy's coming of age as she matures in the sordid, tempestuous industry of exploitation film.

Really just a self parody, directors Dante and Arkush have spared much expense cobbling together this endless parade of in-jokes and raunch, with dialogue to die for ("now get it up, or I'll cut if off") and enough skin to make a porn star blush. Bartel is amusing as the ultra efficient director, desperate to placate his high maintenance leading lady (Woronov) and come in under budget, while Jeffrey Kramer (fresh from "Jaws") trundles out the banal scripts like confetti at a wedding, while wooing Candy on the side.

Lots of bare flesh, flying limbs, simulated sex and corny double entendres to offend almost everybody, and, a bizarre blue grass musical number of zero relevance thrown in for good measure. If you're not a devotee of the New World Pictures experience, then doubtful "Hollywood Boulevard" will be your cup of tea; for everyone else, it's a trademark romp down to the usual standards.

A beautiful blonde from Indiana (Candice Rialson) moves to Hollywood to become an actress and find fame. She hooks-up with a dubious team of moviemakers who run Miracle Pictures. Their slogan is: "If it's a good picture, it's a miracle." Statuesque Mary Woronov is on hand as an increasingly bitter actress who works for the company.

"Hollywood Boulevard" (1976) is an amusing send-up of Grade Z filmmaking with comedy, action, slasher, you-name-it. It's amusing for the first 40 minutes or so, but starts to lose its charm by the second half. Sure, it's entertaining to a point if you want to turn-off your brain for a fun time, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a shallow, throwaway flick.

Nevertheless, there's a surprising sequence that obviously influenced Coppola and his outstanding air raid on the village sequence in "Apocalypse Now."

Blonde Candice Rialson was a memorable B-film starlet in the 70s, along the lines of redhead Claudia Jennings; and, less so, thin Tara Strohmeier, who plays Jill here. Meanwhile brunette Rita George is notable as Bobbi. There's quite a bit of top nudity, so stay away if you find that objectionable.

Eleven years later, "Howling III: The Marsupials" would feature a satirical filmmaking crew, similar to the one in this one.

It runs 1 hour, 23 minutes, and was shot in Los Angeles, including Hollywood, except for sequences done at Paramount Ranch in Agoura Hills, which is west of there, just north of Malibu in the high country (the Western town set and open landscape shots).

GRADE: C.

To be entirely honest, I came close to abandoning "Hollywood Boulevard" after a few minutes already, due to the exaggeratedly goofy sequence of a stunt woman crashing from a plane and leaving a person-shaped crater in the ground upon impact. That sort of stuff belongs in a "Tom and Jerry" or "Roadrunner" cartoon, but not here. But because Roger Corman and Joe Dante are involved, and mainly because the gorgeous Tara Strohmeier was standing around topless for no reason, there was a little voice inside my head encouraging me to continue. It might get better...

Overall, I'm glad I persevered. There are many more silly and downright idiotic moments like these in "Hollywood Boulevard", but also the showcasing of brilliant tongue-in-cheek satire and in-house parody. Roger Corman gave two of his canniest acolytes (Joe "Piranha" Dante and Allan "Rock & Roll High School" Arkush) 10 days, $60.000, and free access to the outtakes of his previous film-hits (notably "Death Race 2000). What they delivered in return is a bonkers but imaginative - and, yes, occasionally dreary - cocktail of comedy, sleaze, horror, and parody.

"Hollywood Boulevard" begins as a tale about a naïve young actress struggling to make it in the movie industry, continues as a portrait on how difficult it is to remain successful in that same industry, and ends (quite fantastically) as a slasher in which the sexy B-movie actresses are the targets of a maniacal killer. What makes "Hollywood Boulevard" so enjoyable is the marvelous cast of Corman-regulars and the shameless exploitation of beautiful female nudity. Paul Bartel is splendid as the unworldly director who loves himself and Dick Miller is genius as the sly talent agent. Actresses Tara Strohmeier, Candice Rialson, and Rita George also give more than admirable performances, but - who are we kidding - are most memorable for their topless appearances. The long and 200% gratuitous sequence where the three of them are sunbathing half-naked on a beach in The Philippines probably still is the highlight of Joe Dante's and Alan Arkush's careers!

Oh, and you simple have to love the fictional "Miracle Films" production company's slogan: If it's a good picture, it's a Miracle.