Drive-In Massacre

DRIVE IN MASSACRE was meant to scare the patrons of the actual drive-ins that dotted the landscape of it's day. Starting off with a gag-inducing theme song, the horror gets under way.

A madman is lurking among the rows of cars, and beheads a pair of amorous customers. With a sword! As usual, the cops are stumped. Cantankerous, bullet-headed manager, Austin Johnson (Newton Naushaus) is no help at all. He just hates everyone and everything. Could he be the killer? Or, could it be Germy the "halfwit" janitor? Why is he so twitchy? And, Why is he wearing Pinocchio's hat? Hmm?

Meanwhile, in spite of the gory murders, the drive-in fills up the next night. Unsurprisingly, another couple is dispatched, this time in shish kebab fashion. And, on it goes. At no time does it seem like a bad idea to keep the drive-in open. Even when someone is killed every night!

This movie's biggest problem is that in between deaths, it's an extremely dull police investigation, conducted by the world's most lackluster detectives. They're more like fast food-loving carpet salesmen. While chasing a suspect, one fears that they could drop dead at any second!

By normal standards, this is a debacle. However, on the schlock scale, this is pure gold!

P.S.- Watch for an uncredited George "Buck" Flower as a marauding, bug-eyed maniac!...

During the first two thirds of the movie it seems that all the people involved are giving their best and despite it's evidently low budget, movie does resemble a real movie, has some decent practical effects, makes you interested in it's story and undeniably has a certain interesting atmosphere. However, in the last third of the movie whole thing breaks apart with a try at a comedy and a filler warehouse sequence which drags on for too long and is painfully boring to watch. If it continued like it's first two thirds, the movie could have been a nice mediocre movie for the fans of the genre, but like this, it's not very good. I give it 4.5/10! If you do decide to watch the movie, do keep your expectations really low!

This was actually pretty watchable for the genre it was made in. In no way was this film intended to be anything else but B-movie fare at a drive-in very much like the one portrayed within (minus the murders we hope). A nice touch is that it contains the semblance of a storyline. Instead of following the killer around as in most slasher films, they follow the two policeman that are trying to find him as they interview potential suspects. The very novelty of seeing it told this way made it fun for me. Some other moments, such as the not-too-seamless voiceover by a character named "The Great Germy", are so awful that it's almost an inspired kind of awful.

You basically have to have gone to the drive-in yourself years ago to see how dead on some of the portrayals of the patrons are. Yes it's schlock, but it's mostly amusing schlock and perfect for a boring saturday night when you had nothing else to rent; provided of course your video store even carries a copy of this.

For those who'd like to buy this and have no idea what they're in for; just ask yourself the following: Do you like such movies as "The Prowler", "He Knows You're Alone" and "My Bloody Valentine" ? Heck, did you even KNOW these films existed ? If the answer is "yes" to both, then you'll like this film, but don't pay more than 5 or 6 dollars for it. If your only exposure to slasher films has been Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Halloween and maybe a Friday The 13th film or two, then you will probably not like this film and stay far far FAR away.

Drive-In Massacre (1976)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Low budget horror film about a maniac cutting people's heads off with a ninja sword at a California drive-in. This certainly isn't a "good" film but it works very well for its type—a B budget drive-in flick of the 70's. There's plenty of violence and gore, including a rather well done decapitation and some wonderful, zany dialogue. The biggest problem is that the film runs a tad bit slow even at 74-minutes. The nice twist ending and warning was also a nice touch. This certainly isn't going to be remembered as anything great but if you like "B" trash then you might enjoy this one.

The movie is awful, cheesy but kinda fun to watch. It's better than I expected it to be - I thought it might have been a grindhouse style of film but it's not. It's a slasher, bloody but not a lot of that going on... it's main focus is on two cops trying to solve the murders! The best thing about the film are the two cops who could pass as brothers! Really, their facial features look similar to one another and similar build to their bodies.. only real difference is one is slightly shorter than the other!! I could see these two in a spin off 1970s TV show playing the same two cops and still solving murders. LOL! It's not a film to seek out - even for a die-hard horror fan - but it is an OK watch if you happen to catch it on one night or acquire it in a film pack as I did.

3/10