Black Samurai

This movie is a forgettable karate flick starring the wonderful Jim Kelly. Every karate movie cliche is here, including midgets, and an evil white guy karate master (who doesn't know karate) with a vulture named "Voltan."

STANDOUT SCENE - Watch closely when the evil white guy sends his vulture to attack Kelly. Quote, "Voltan! Kill!!" (never mind that vultures are lazy creatures by nature who wouldn't even eat a dead deer if they had to cross the street to get it). Okay, now watch when Voltan lands on Jim Kelly -- Kelly's stunt-double is a white guy. A blonde white guy - they didn't even give the double a dark haired wig or anything.

Other standouts include Kelly's staff fight with a group of thugs, and his pre-final showdown with a Damon Wayans lookalike, where Kelly spouts Muhammad Ali like banter ("C'mon chump! C'mon sissy!")

A great movie if you can a) find it and b) stay awake through it!!

It has been a while since I watched Black Belt Jones, but that was the previous Jim Kelly film I had seen and recently the mood took me for some blaxploitation films. Where the previous film had Kelly fighting for his own streets, here we have him as a much in demand secret agent. He plays Robert Sand (Bobby to his mates) who is on holiday playing tennis with some hotties with the phone off the hook whenever his employers come to him for help in breaking a right of black-magic using international drug dealers. Sands of course says no, until he finds the group have kidnapped the daughter of the Japanese Ambassador to the US (Toki) who also happens to be Sand's girlfriend (albeit not one he is particularly faithful to). Sand sets out to rescue her and bring down the gang all at once.

I quite like Blaxploitation films when they work; the best of them manage to be really good and make the most of limited resources, but there can still be good ones that try and have fun while being inherently poor. Unfortunately Black Samurai seems to either not be aware of its own limitations or just seems content to totally ignore them and hope it will all just come together. By this I mean that it doesn't play to its strengths very well but instead plays to an ideal that it can't achieve either financially or in terms of the skills of those involved. There are big moments of this (like the jet-pack scene) but generally the whole film is poor and just seems worse for how far from its own target it falls. The plot is clunky and very little fun at all while the action sequences don't even offer cheesy thrills because they are mostly poorly done. It is a shame because I like Kelly but he looks poor because of how bad the extras are at even things like falling down.

Technically the film shows how little effort went into this. The direction and shot selection is poor but it is the audio that is most shocking. Quality varies between lines within the same scene but more annoying is the ADR/dubbing done after the film. When it at its best it is just out of synch but at its worst lines are dubbed onto people who aren't even speaking at the time – the fight with Bones and Sand is hilarious as a result. And so the film goes – it fills time when it can, point a camera roughly where people are standing when they're doing something and generally fails to be fun, dramatic, exciting or even funny in a cheesy retro way. The cast can't do much. Kelly is not a great presence but he is totally wasted here – uncool, not allowed to impressive physically and just looks uncomfortable for most of it. The supporting cast are weaker – Joi and Chia are cute but never given the chance to be a sexy distraction in the film as they should have been. Meanwhile the main villains stand and pull faces while rubbish henchmen fall over awkwardly.

A poor film then – even by the standards of the genre. It seems to think it can make big things work despite having no talent or resources to achieve it and the end result is poor no matter how you look at it. It says a lot when you consider that the entertainment high-point of the film is a fight with a vulture where Kelly lies on his back doing defensive arm movements while someone waves a stuffed toy in his face, intercut with a white stuntman standing in for Kelly who appears to have had a panicking vulture stapled to his chest – and even this only works because of how unintentionally daft it all looks.

Fellow fans of bad movies, you're in for a real treat with this Jim Kelly classic!

OK here's the deal: The daughter of an important ambassador (who also apparently happens to live by the samurai code – we're never too sure as we never actually get to see him!) is kidnapped by some decidedly mean looking crooks (headed by a dead ringer for Lee Van Cleef!) who happen to be working for the head of a group of Satanists (got that?)

Step forward agent Roland Sand (Kelly) of D.R.A.G.O.N who is assigned the mission to rescue our beautiful damsel in distress. (What does the agency name stand for? I haven't the foggiest because it's never explained!) Anyway, to cut a long story short (even though there isn't really a story present!) it happens that by a seemingly unlikely coincidence, the seized sexy daughter also happens to be Kelly's girlfriend!!!! Wow, what a small world eh?!

Obviously our man quite rightly wastes no time at all in promptly searching for her but before he can rescue her he must first fight his way through a seeming army of devil worshippers, some Zulu warriors(!!!) a vulture(!!!), a room full of rattle snakes(which are kept securely in their holding cell via a grilled door!!!!!! Eh?!!!!!) and a fair number of demented dwarfs(!!!!!!!) Yes, you might well want to re-read that last sentence to make sure that you weren't seeing things. Believe me, if it sounds bizarre on paper then it's even more bizarre on film!

Chock full of twangy 70's music, groovy fashions, bad acting and some absolutely (unintentionally) hilarious scenes throughout this is a veritable bad movie classic!

Best scene of all for me though was near the end when our hero dukes it out with the head henchman charmingly referred to as Bone. For some odd reason the film suddenly develops an entire overdub wherein our hero taunts his opponent by throwing at him such choice insults as 'Chump', 'Sissy' and 'Faggot' (all spoken way above the normal volume level on the soundtrack) – Needless to say I almost wet myself laughing.

Also be sure to check out the cool and garish opening credits sequence – awesome stuff!

Oh, did I mention the jet pack? – Damn, you NEED to see this film!

Jim Kelly was a great fighter, but no Richard Roundtree or Fred Williamson as an actor. He was good as the third banana (after Bruce Lee and John Saxon) in the martial arts classic 'Enter The Dragon', and even better in the surprisingly entertaining starring vehicle 'Black Belt Jones'. But that movies "sequel" 'Hot Potato' was pretty awful and the prospect of Kelly being teamed up with legendary schlockmeister Al Adamson ('Horror Of The Blood Monsters', 'Dracula vs. Frankenstein', 'Naughty Stewardesses',etc.etc.), made me think I was in for one of THE worst movies ever made. But you know what? This movie was ineptly dubbed, badly acted, had some crappy dialogue and was full of dull stock footage, but I still actually enjoyed it. Not much, but at least SOME, which is something I certainly didn't expect! Kelly plays an agent of D.R.A.G.O.N. which sounds really cool, but we're never told what that means exactly. The movie opens with him on holiday, but some guys in suits spoil it by making him a proposal to eliminate Janikan (Bill Roy), the leader of a drug/voodoo/slave trade cult. He refuses initially but is then told that his own girlfriend Tokai (Essie Lin Chia), who I think is an ambassador's daughter or something, has been kidnapped by these evil mofos. So of course, Kelly goes instantly into action, opening several cans of whup-ass on assorted thugs, voodoo baddies, midgets and even a vulture (named Vultron!). Adamson being Adamson, he still manages to make all this nowhere near as entertaining and exciting as you'd imagine, but there are still a few decent fight sequences, and a memorable jet-pack ride by Kelly. The supporting cast is very odd, and cult fans will get a big kick out of it because it includes D'Urville Martin (Reverend Rufus in Larry Cohen's 'Black Caesar' and 'Hell Up In Harlem' and director of the blaxploitation cult fave 'Dolemite'), Biff Yeager (from 'Repo Man' and other Alex Cox movies), little person Felix Silla (Cousin Itt from 'The Addams Family', 'Demon Seed', 'The Brood'), and even tough guy Aldo Ray ('We're No Angels', 'Angel Unchained'). 'Black Samurai' is trash, but there's lots of dumb fun to be had, especially if you keep the pizza and cold beers flowing throughout. And as bad as it is, it's STILL better than 'Hot Potato'!

The movie "The Black Samurai" has everything you could ever want in a film: kung-fu, midgets, a mariachi band, a vulture, a jet-pack, a sassy black woman, cool sound effects, a car-chase, and random explosions. PLUS: A gay devil-worshiping badguy, a secret agent organization, a fire-spouting pen, snakes, afros, a scene where the good guy kills tons of badguys with a grenade because he's tired...and with SEX APPEAL! The only thing lacking in this movie is gratuitous gore and nudity! Wow what a feature!