A*P*E

You know, you just can't beat a movie like "A*P*E" for a good time. And By good time, I mean this movie "s*u*c*k*s." Well, no. It isn't bad as in "never see this movie" bad, it's bad as in "good for a laugh and nothing more" bad. The best part has to be when A*P*E flips off the camera. Wow! I never knew apes really did that! I'm sorry if this doesn't help you as a reader and potential viewer, but I just had to vent a little. Have a nice day, otherwise.

Watch in horror as the A*P*E Mercilessly attacks the same building in 5 different shots, and then sometimes the same shot repeated later in the film. Marvel at the special effects as foam pieces fly off the "rocks" that fall toward the same three men also repeated about five times. Become engrossed in the finely developed characters, and their emotional dialogue like "Just too big for a small world like ours," or "Lets see him dance for his organ grinder now!"

If the makers of this film were serious, I'll be a monkey's uncle, haha. But seriously, you'll have an ape of a time(I don't even think people say that one). I'm not monkeying around; you'll go bananas!

Important note: you can see the head part of the ape costume moving seperately from the rest of the costume and you don't even have to be looking.

Here's what I really think: It's bad, oh boy is it ever, especially the repeated stock footage and footage from other movies, and the 3 minutes, LITERALLY 3 MINUTES, of time wasted by showing children playing with a puppet. There is a shot of firemen rushing through the supposedly panic-stricken city but look closely(or not so closely you can still see it); In the background you can see people shopping. Let's not forget the ending (don't worry, you won't care if I tell you how it ends) which is 15 minutes of tanks shooting, soldiers running up to the camera looking into it, and then shooting 3 or 4 rounds out of a rifle I'm certain only holds one round(I don't know anything about guns, but it had the handle dealy on the side that you cock to load and unload). All this while the ape disco dances which I suppose is him being shot and reacting, but I would think that all that firepower and he would probably run away. Then the ape dies. You can tell it's going to happen too, because after what seems like hours of being shot in the head and chest, the A*P*E vomits blood. These things are the reason to watch the movie. I'm not exaggerating when I say A*P*E is one of the funniest films of all time.

This movie hates you. No two ways about it. It wants to hurt you for seeing it.

Characters in this movie speak in a stream of continual profanities, fire flaming arrows and guns at the audience (while smiling), and the gorilla throws rocks at you and flips you the bird.

The acting is mostly abominable. The effects are worse. Nothing makes much sense. The editing is choppy. The shots are poorly composed. The locations are grey, barren, and aggressively ugly. Stock footage is piled on and looped.

Boring filler is shoved in wherever it will fit to pad out the slight story to 90 minutes. Then, it takes forever to finally end. (More punishment for you, the viewer.) Oh, and it's nominally in 3-D too.

A hateful, hateful movie.

This is a great bad movie and many of the scenes are hilarious. If you'd enjoy watching a 60-sec slow-motion scene where a guy in a gorilla costume wrestles an obviously dead shark, thrashing it around and pretending to be in the throes of death, look no further. This whole movie is full of great scenes like that, and if it weren't for an overly drawn out love story subplot, "A.P.E." would be a 5-star unintentional comedy. You get a little bit of everything in this South Korean flick: "Godzilla"-style miniature sets, toy model animals and people, remote control helicopters, firework explosions, and of course, a guy in a gorilla suit. The plot is not important, really, and the film gets right down to brass tacks after about 2-min of backstory. Just know that there is a 35-ft tall ape, and he is going to rampage Korea. Throw in an American actress (Joanna Kerns, of "Growing Pains" fame), her reporter boyfriend, and a pair of Army officers bent on killing the beast, and you have "A.P.E." The direction and editing are sometimes stunningly inept, resulting in several great "WTF moments," including my favorite when a character is hanging off the outside door of a moving jeep, for seemingly no reason. Anyhow, I could go on forever with this one. As far as bad movies go, "A.P.E." is a definite keeper. You are going to get laughs out of this one.

This movie is so terrible, yet so funny. There are so many flaws with this movie. Many parts of the movie have nothing to do with the plot. The ape one time wears shoes, flicks the camera(and its no accident, he holds it for 4 seconds), and seems to be different sized throughout the movie. You cannot make a worse movie. Period. This movie must be seen, it is too funny to explain.