- [the Beatles are shown as their live action selves]
- George: That was one great party. And we brought back some lovely souvenirs.
- [takes out a kite string with a wind-up mistaken for a motor]
- George: Here's the motor.
- Paul: And I've got a little
- [the word "love" comes out of his hand]
- Paul: love.
- Ringo: [takes out a fake hole from his pocket] And I've got a hole in my pocket.
- George: A hole?
- Ringo: Well, half a hole anyway. I gave the rest to Jeremy.
- George: What can he do with half a hole?
- Paul: Fix it to keep his mind from wandering!
- Chief Meanie: Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched. Right, Max?
- Max: Yes, your Blueness.
- Chief Meanie: WHAT? We Meanies only take "no" for an answer! Is that understood, Max?
- Max: No, Your Blueness!
- Chief Meanie: That's better!
- Narrator: Once upon a time, or maybe twice, there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland. 80,000 leagues beneath the sea it lay, or lie. I'm not too sure.
- Blue Meanie: Are you, er blueish? You don't look blueish.
- Chief Meanie: Ah, the hills are alive...
- Max: [sings] ... with the sound of music!
- Chief Meanie: [Punches Max] Who did it? Who is responsible for this?
- Max: Rimsky-Korsakov?
- [Chief Meanie shoots him, Blue Menial #3 stomps him into ground]
- Max: [Poking his head up from ground] Guy Lombardo?
- George: Ok, men all aboard. Lets go somewhere.
- Ringo: [Indicating Jeremy] What about him?
- John: He's happy enough going around in circles.
- Ringo: Aw, poor little fellow.
- Paul: I don't know. Ringo's just a sentamentalist.
- Ringo: Aw, look at him. Can't he come with us?
- [he goes over to Jeremy]
- Ringo: Hey, Mr Boob! You can come with us if you like.
- Jeremy: You mean you'd take a nowhere man?
- Ringo: Yeah, come on. We'll take you somewhere.
- [Jeremy is cornered by the Chief Meanie]
- Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: He does, in truth, seem quite annoyed. Some reference material be-be-before I'm destroyed!
- [reading]
- Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: "Where ground is soft most often grows, arise! Arise! Arouse! A rose!
- [a rose sprouts on the Chief Meanie's nose]
- Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: A rosy nose?
- Chief Meanie: Speak your last piece!
- Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: Peace! Peace! Supplant the doom and the gloom! Turn off what is sour! Turn into a flower and bloom! Bloom! Bloom!
- [roses sprout all over the Chief Meanie]
- [seeing John looking through a telescope, concerned]
- Paul: What's the matter, John Love? Blue Meanies.
- John Lennon: Newer and bluer Meanies have been sighted in the vicinity of this theatre. There's only one way we can go out!
- George: How's that?
- John Lennon: Singing!
- John: Hello, there, blue people! Won't you join us? Hook up, and otherwise co-mingle? What do you say?
- Chief Meanie: Max.
- Max: Your Blue-, uh, I mean, er, Your Newness?
- Chief Meanie: It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?
- Max: Argentina?
- John: Are you with us? Will you join?
- Chief Meanie: Shall we?
- Max: [nodding] No!
- Chief Meanie: [threatening] Aargh!
- Max: [hastily] N-n-y-y-y-y-Yes, Your Newness!
- Chief Meanie: Yes, Max!
- Jeremy: Yes! Ah, yes is a word with a glorious ring! A true universal utopious thing! Engenders embracing and chasing of blues, the very best word for the whole world to use!
- Chief Meanie: Yes, let us mix, Max. I've never admitted it before, but my cousin is the bluebird of happiness!
- John: [singing] Nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save that can't be saved. Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time. It's easy. All You Need is Love. All You Need is Love. All You Need is Love, love. Love is all you need.
- Old Fred: [after they have all been turned into much younger versions of themselves] Now I don't mean to alarm you, mates, but the years are going backwards.
- George: What does that mean, Old Fred?
- Old Fred: It means that if we slip back through time at this rate, pretty soon we'll all disappear up our own existance!
- John: [Frankenstein's monster has turned into John Lennon] Hey, Ringo, I've just had the strangest dream.
- Ringo: I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach. Now listen to Old Fred.
- Old Fred: [speaking gibberish] Submarine! Explosions! Blue Meanies!
- [calmer]
- Old Fred: What do you think?
- John: [to Ringo] I think he needs a rehearsal.
- Paul: [singing] When I get older losing my hair many years from now. Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine? If I'd been out till quarter to three would you lock the door? Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm Sixty Four?
- Paul: Groovy! How do you start this thing?
- Old Fred: It starts with a Blue Meanie attack.
- John: Well, supposing there are no Blue Meanies in the neighbourhood?
- Old Fred: Oh, er, well, then you, um, start looking for a switch.
- Ringo: [Ringo pushes a button that starts playing the first few notes of the song "All Together Now"] Perhaps this is it.
- John: Hey, Jeremy, what do you know about holes?
- Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: There are simply no holes in my education.
- Paul: You mean you haven't composed a "hole" book?
- Lord Mayor: It's quite uncanny, your faces.
- Paul: We're quite cute, really.
- Lord Mayor: You could pass for the originals!
- John: We are the originals.
- John: [in the Sea of Holes] This place reminds me of Blackburn, Lancashire.
- Paul: [sings] Oh, boy!
- George: How many do you think there are in all?
- Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: Enough to fill the Albert Hall!