Jim l'irresistibile detective

I've only gotten to see this movie once but it left a pretty vivid impression on me -- a psychedelic era private eye thriller with Kirk Douglas as a cynical detective assigned to protect the sexy defendant in a murder case (sexy Giallo film regular Sylva Koscina) being defended by fast-talking Eli Wallach from being unfairly (or, not) found guilty of murdering her rich old geezer of a husband. At least, I think that's the nature of the plot, my scanty knowledge of the film demonstrated by not even having remembered that Eli Wallach was in it. He's kind of a hard film presence to forget, but since I saw the movie on the tail end of a windowpane fueled Magical Mystery Tour it's not that surprising.

In fact, it's impressive that I recall anything at all, but it was one of those instances where I had nothing better to do in the afternoon after the journey in mention and just happened to catch this on TV while slumming around our on-campus apartment. I would usually look for certain things when selecting entertainment under such circumstances, and the production year of 1968 stuck out, suggesting that there might be subtle suggestions of psychedelia, ala POINT BLANK which at the time was my alltime favorite film. I was correct.

Two moments in the film stuck with me: One during a scene were Mr. Douglas' car is forced off the road by gangster thugs who chase him into the woods, and he administrates a very effective beating onto one of the thugs, which each blow of the fist highlighted by an orchestrated crescendo. The other moment was right after Douglas' character is introduced to Koscina, who simply oozes sex appear and regards him with a sort of "come hither" look from a balcony window. Douglas' reaction is to bite heartily into an apple -- along with another orchestrated flourish -- with a gusto that was the source of a nice belly laugh.

The film has apparently never been released on home video or DVD but I remember it vividly and would love to have the chance to watch it again.

I always intended to watch this movie just to see Sylva Koscina, the girl from Steve Reeves' HERCULES. But never bothered. When I did watch it I was surprised to see Sharon Farrell and Meg Myles (Satan in High Heels), in bit roles. Talk about a total Boob-Fest. The story was sort of weird and the music was terrible, none of which helped the non-existent story. Other than the three female leads, there wasn't much here to hold my interest.

Cheesy does not even begin to describe it. Some of the most wooden acting and clunkiest dialogue I have ever experienced. It's actually like a Carry On film without the laughs. Not that Kirk Douglas has a cast-iron reputation as a discerning, talented actor, but his appearance in this is just embarrassing. Likewise Eli Wallach. Then there's this plinky-plonky music running along through many scenes, often totally at odds with the mood and images images it accompanies. Add to this some very weird editing and timing. People laugh (at things that are not remotely funny) or respond to things that are said a second too late. And I know it's of its time etc., but the women in the film are all such bimbos and doormats that even I as a man found it offensive at times. Not even "so bad it's good". Just brutal.

After they bribed Kirk Douglas to appear in this movie, with just enough left over to convince Eli Wallach to abandon his dignity, they must not have had any money left over for such trivialities as original music composition. So they bought the rights to some Bewitched out-takes. Gets worse, though. Douglas goes out on a date with a dish to a nightclub where they dance the Swig or the Swoop or the Boof or something, and then get into a fake car in front of a green screen. And he's already a half-century old. He's not getting 22-year-olds in any universe outside of Hollywood movies. I sure hope this is Kirk Douglas's worst movie b/c I'd hate to find one worse.

Ghastly vanity project by a fading star. Most bad movies have a camp, unintentional comedy value but this doesn't even have that.

Sylvia Koscina is very lovely to look at. She also has an amazing bubble flip that never gets missed, even after getting out of bed or wearing a wig over it.

Automobiles furnished by Lincoln-Mercury.