'It's Alive!'

Once again Larry Buchannan proves he is king of the completely incompetent.He can't direct even a descent scene,can't write one coherent line of dialogue,can't even get a decent actor to give a believable performance.It still amazes me that he was able to direct twenty nine features.Was he independently wealthy?He must have been,for who would have continuously funded this lunatic moron.

This feature has as its lead,Tommy Kirk,who starred in many early sixties Disney flicks,including Swiss Family Robinson.He is supposedly some sort of paleontologist,who is out in the field,doing who knows what,and is interrupted by a couple who is lost.he directs them to the home of this complete lunatic,who locks them up in this cave/exhibit.They apparently are to be food for some prehistoric lizard/man.Kirk,we later find out,knew of these creatures(he's a paleontologist stupid).It might possibly been an OK b movie had it not been incompetently written,badly acted,and terribly directed.

My favorite scene,is where the housekeeper tells of how he(the crazy owner)tortured her(its told in flashback),by locking her in a heated room ,with a comfortable bed,three meals a day,and where he awakens her daily by blowing a whistle in her ear(can you imagine,I cringe just thinking about it).

This movie was supposed to be a horror film.But instead,it was just a horrible film.Tommy Kirk,I believe you really tried,but I don't think that Tom Hanks,Hillary Swank,and even Nicholson could have saved this film.The only positive thing I can say about it,is that at least its better than Eye Creatures.rp

It's Alive is sitting with a horrifically low IMDB rating and when you see the goofy ping pong eyed monster you can entirely understand why.

However, I kind of enjoyed it. And here is where my clear weird taste in movies comes in.

It tells the story of a couple who while driving through the country become lost and seek assistance from a man who runs an obscure show full of various animals on display. When he offers them a tour things turn bad and the man shows his true colours.

The creature though ridiculous looking is barely on screen and that is certainly in the movies favour. Instead we're treated to more of a psychological game between the captor and captives and I found myself fairly engrossed.

Flawed? Absolutely, but I enjoyed it regardless.

The Good:

Overall well constructed

The Bad:

That monster, really?

Some of the music was a tad overwhelming

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Unless told men do not know that lack of food results in death

Absolutely cheap,bizarre tale of a madman who owns a roadside attraction and likes to feed tourists to his pet monster in a cave.Tommy Kirk plays a forest ranger who helps the young wife of a cranky older man escape.One of the madman's servants is a school teacher who was kept prisoner and forced to work for him.In flashbacks,she recalls how she was trapped.There's even a rehash of the old rat on the dinner plate gag from "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane."When the monster finally makes it's appearance,it's a guy in a cheap monster suit,complete with ping pong eyes.There's no real special effects.The monster just stands closer to the camera to make it look bigger.The suit also was reused from"Creatures of Destruction," a Larry Buchanan remake of "The She Creature."This film is good for a few laughs but no thrills.Watch at your own risk.

In yet another Larry Buchanan Z-grade train-wreck of a movie, "It's Alive" is about three people who get lost and wind up as captives of a deranged farmer. The whacko farmer locks them up in his cave exhibition, along with his lizard-man monster, to be served up as dinner for the farmer's green man-beast critter.

How is it that Larry Buchanan funded these rabidly bad movies? As with other films he directed, "It's Alive" suffers from bad dialog, bad acting, bad editing, bad lighting, bad stock music... you name it, it's bad. So bad that it's strangely fun to watch, though. It has a lot of the same themes as Manos: The Hands of Fate but it isn't nearly as mind-numbingly painful as Manos. If you're into bad sci-fi / horror flicks like me, then by all means waste an hour and a half of your life and watch "It's Alive". It's too bad they didn't have the Razzy Awards back in 1969 - Larry Buchanan would have certainly been a contender for worst director.

This film was included on a DVD along with another wretched American-International release, YEAR 2889. Both were made by a company called Azalea Pictures--who produced only about a dozen films and several of them were even worse than these two!! MARS NEED WOMEN and ZONTAR: THE THING FROM VENUS actually manage to be even worse!! Of the two film on the disk, IT'S ALIVE is definitely the better film--but this is like comparing the Black Plague to Ebola--they're both rather nasty!

A couple from New York gets lost in the Ozarks (that probably happens all the time) and wander down the wrong road. When they meet up with a guy who offers to help, he turns out to be a maniac who wants to feed him to his "pet"--a primordial creature who is seemingly indestructible. Most of the film they are kept locked in a cave and it does manage to have some genuinely scary moments--until you see the creature! Instead of causing panic or screams, most who see it would probably laugh out loud as it looks as if they spent about $30 assembling a costume out of stuff they found lying around the house or in a junk shop! It's too bad, as apart from the 'monster', the film has a scary atmosphere and a certain low-budget charm. In particular, the first victim of the monster is someone who is such a jerk that the audience will no doubt enjoy this scene much more than if it had just been the stereotypical victim. Still, this isn't enough to salvage the film. It still has the look of a 4th-rate drive-in film--the type movie that makes Roger Corman's old horror films look like classics!

Worth a peek if you are a fan of bad films--otherwise see it at your own risk.