The Magic Land of Mother Goose

If you thought that your appreciation of strange kiddie-matinees or HGL's well known films meant that you should watch this than I am so sorry for the huge disappointment you guaranteed to experience. Films from the above two camps both had some craft and skill put into them. People showed up and tried to make the films work, despite their limitations.

This though, is some kind of abhorrent, ungodly abomination that offers almost nothing of value. No one tried here to making some good or worthwhile. Someone found a disused stage at a children's school where only the worst children attended. The film makers aimed their camera at the stage and the world's worst thespians descended upon this god-forsaken place, beckoned by something that was beyond their understanding. Costumes were made from cheap and soiled garments, likely stolen from the local citizenry, and were combined into an obscene pastiche; a mockery of what modern society calls acceptable.

I don't have the strength to continue, haven just barely made it through this god awful wreck, but please take my advice and never watch it.

The Magic Land of Mother Goose (1967)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

From nudies to gore to children movies? Herschell Gordon Lewis will always be remembered for his films like TWO THOUSAND MANIACS and COLOR ME BLOOD RED but he also made a couple children movies including this one. This was apparently shot on a high school stage where various Mother Goose tales come to life. The characters that make an appearance include Merlin, Old King Cole, the Wicked Witch, Prince Charming and a very, very creepy Rag Doll.

THE MAGIC LAND OF MOTHER GOOSE probably would have worked better as a thirty minute show for television. Or, if it would have probably worked even better had I dropped a ton of acid and drank a few beers before watching it. The biggest problem with the film isn't its low-budget or the actual performances. It's just that none of it is all that interesting. Lewis keeps the camera back the majority of the time and everything is filmed in long takes. The lack of any real editing really kills the picture because it just makes the entire film look rather cheap and ugly. I'm sure some better editing could have made some of the jokes or magic tricks more interesting.

I find it difficult to imagine that any audience could ever have sat all the way through this (I only got halfway) or that anyone would ever have put up a cent for its printing in the expectation of a return. It appears to be a movie of a terrible children's show by a terrible little-theatre company in some small town; but if any kids ever found their way to it, they must have been bored and creeped out at the same sitting. Since the person named as director is more notorious for his gore movies, one tends to apply a sinister subtext to the more bizarre sequences, e.g. the one with Raggedy Ann--so called, but looking more like the Corpse Bride--and a fascistic, sadistic Old King Cole who orders that the doll be tortured because she's not "merry" (indeed, to judge by appearances, clinically depressed) and she's forced into a box and sawed in half. The sawing is performed by an amateur kid magician whose tricks, unbelievably, are what the whole production is built around; hence "_Magic_ Land." Magic, my tuchus. The performers are so listless and the sets so tacky, it looks like a burlesque show with the strip numbers excised--which now I think of it does describe life in its dismaler aspect: so maybe the director is an unacknowledged master, after all.

In 1967, gore/horror schlockmesister Hershall Gordon Lewis filmed a kid's stage show and tried to pass it off as a kiddie movie. One wonders if he made a buck off this thing, but you can't help thinking, looking at these hapless actors, that they could have been off protesting the war or listening to Blonde On Blonde.

Anyway, the stage show is totally absurd and uncinematic. The Actor playing King Cole does a manfull job of trying to hold the whole thing together, basicly ad-libbing much of his part as Merlin the Magician performs tricks using Mother Goose Characters with little motivation. The most striking thing here is the film's similarity to Lewis's nutball "The Wizard Of Gore". Call this "Wizard Of Gore Lite."

It's a terrible but one of a kind movie. At some point Christmas tie in inserts were included and the name was changed to "Santa Visits The Magic Land Of Mother Goose." This is what the Something Weird Video Version calls the film on the box, but it's version does not have the inserts. They make up for it by having a great selection of horrible kiddie movie trailers