Come rubare la corona d'Inghilterra

I've seen this movie 4 times. The first time when I was about 8 years old, in Romania, with the Romanian title "Argoman superdiabolicul". I remember that I liked it very much. I was just a naive child. I saw it 2 more times as an adult, less than 10 years distance, and I totally forgot what was the subject, "so good it is"... Everything is bad, stupid plot, bad acting, bad bad bad. They are trying a combination of James Bond with Batman and a big s..t gets out. A movie for little children without discernment or for adults without brain. Only they can like it.

While nowadays there's been a big boom in super hero movies, it's a little known fact that it's not the first. During the 60s there were a ton of them, most trying to cash in on the Batman show although they did have their own sense of style. Argoman is different in the fact that it lacks the style, because of this it just becomes like the campiness of the 60s Batman. Which IS a good thing by the way, but it doesn't seem as original as stuff like Danger Diabolik. Also, most of the movie is pretty slow, with Argoman trying to find out where Jennabell is by standing around and talking to people! However, the last act in the base makes up for it. Overall, while it's not as stylish as some other 60s super hero movies and is pretty slow at times, it has most of the other traits of a good movie down. Food acting, good effects, a catchy theme song, and a robot! Check it out!

I was vaguely aware of this superhero, flick but which I almost missed out on when it was shown earlier this week on late-night Italian TV given the misleading original title – which translates to HOW TO STEAL THE CROWN OF ENGLAND (a plot device which, while occurring twice during the course of the movie, is only a means to an end and not the villainess’ ultimate goal)! Anyway, this was one of a boom of Italian superhero/master criminal films (most of them emanating from the latter half of the 1960s) – apart from which, I was already familiar with the enjoyable KRIMINAL (1966; whose sequel, THE MARK OF KRIMINAL [1968], I watched on the strength of this), the obviously superior DANGER: DIABOLIK (1968), the surprisingly agreeable spoof ARRIVA DORELLIK (1967) and, much later, the truly lamentable THE PUMA MAN (1980).

Argoman’s alter-ego is Sir Reginald Hoover (Roger Browne) – a laid-back, womanizing criminologist living in a luxurious gadget-filled mansion and waited upon by his faithful Hindu servant (played by Spaniard Eduardo Fajardo); to put it another way, if Batman is the James Bond of superheroes, then Argoman would be their Matt Helm! Having said that, the outrageous costume notwithstanding (which features a cape and a slit in his mask similar to the armor worn by Gort, the robot from THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL [1951]!), his superhero characteristics make him actually closer to Superman than Batman: as a matter of fact, he has sonar, telekinetic and magnetic powers!; however, these are depleted for six hours straight after every sexual encounter – which exasperates time-keeper Fajardo no end! The villainess, then, is a man-eating redhead (Dominique Boschero) typically obsessed with world domination – which she plans to accomplish via a precious diamond that, through the sun’s energy, is able to dissolve steel (consequently, having relocated from London to Paris, the French currency is soon in peril of being devalued!).

Unfortunately for Argoman, he always seems to happen on the scene at the wrong time – so that the Police (especially an incompetent Scotland Yard Inspector) mistakes him for the perpetrator of Boschero’s nefarious deeds! While generally entertaining, the plot gets a bit confusing in the second half – especially when dealing with a subplot in which Boschero hypnotizes a clutch of high-ranking officials to aid her cause, and also the kidnapping of Hoover/Argoman on a crowded bus. The film (re-edited in 1979 and re-issued simply as ARGOMAN) is nevertheless boosted by Piero Umiliani’s breezy score and the attractive locations. A regrettable occurrence in connection with the version I watched is that, for about a 10-minute stretch towards the end, the beat-up print turned completely to black-and-white!

Fun, tongue-in-cheek super hero/spy spoof/caper film. Roger Browne plays Argoman, whose superpowers include strength, psychic ability, and telekinesis. Since he's a suave, debonair playboy, he also likes to romance ladies. There's one catch: if he sleeps with a woman, he loses his powers for six hours. He and the villainous Queen of the World share a bed and a fabulous costume sense. Naturally, Argoman has a loungey score. Great fun. The version of this that I saw was titled The Incredible Paris Incident and was released by Sinister Cinema. The colors were a bit washed out, and the film needs to be letterboxed, but the print was quite watchable.

This thing (I won't call it a movie) is only worth seeing for a good laugh...

• Sexist comments and attitudes.

• Bad plot.

• A villain who changes clothes for each scene.

• A fat yellow spandex clad hero only good to laugh at...

• Bad rescalling on VHS (Heads are often chopped off)

And there you have it... 83 minutes of the worst movie of all times... If your local videostore has this one (which I strongly doubt) take it home with you for a good laugh. Remember that old batman movie, well this is WORST!!!

PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE IS A MASTERPIECE COMPARED TO THIS!!!!