Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title

This had a long reputation as one of the worst movies ever made, though few had actually seen it. It took me until the winter of 2007 to catch up with this one, and while by no means a good movie, it is at least an interesting one. I understand that the backstory behind this low budget production was that The Dick Van Dyke Show was wrapping up, and a few of its stars put together an independent movie. Morey Amsterdam produced, co-wrote, and starred, along with Rose Marie and Richard Deacon. As insurance, he filled his script with jokes, and filled his movie with cameos. Its plot about spies and espionage does not hold together, but now, after 40 years, the movie works on another level. The plot is dated, the stars and cameos are very much from another era of showbiz, and the jokes are of the irresistibly corny variety that have also faded into memory. So now the film is a quirky little cultural artifact of sorts. It is not good cinema, but in the wake of the Police Academy series, Dude Where's My Car, and Freddy Got Fingered, it can hardly be called among the worst movies ever made. It is offbeat, silly, dated, and, if you're in the right frame of mind, rather fun, especially if you have an interest in the era, or fond memories of it.

This movie is about a girl who inherits a bookstore, and the "wacky antics" of her employees. This movie definitely plays on the cold war mentality and fear of espionage of the time, but for laughs. It features some of 1960's television, and 1930's film's greatest stars (Supporting cast of the Dick Van Dyke show, Moe Howard of Three Stooges fame, Milton Berl, Steve Allen, etc...) Chock full of one liners (pretty much the whole movie is set ups for one liners), it takes what would make a 30 minute sitcom hilarious, and makes a 90 minute movie annoying. This movie is really quite goofy. HOWEVER, I really think a kid might find it quite funny...and by kid I mean under 10 yrs.

Seeing all the cameos is a nice trip down nostalgia-lane for the over 40 folks, if you are not interested in a plot, a script, and acting talent.

Even by the dismal standards of mid-1960s spy spoofs (others have titles like "The Last of the Secret Agents?" and "The Maltese Bippy"), this is a forlorn little comedy, shot on Desilu sets and looking like a quickie TV show. Every Desilu TV star on the lot that day puts in a witless cameo (Irene Ryan, Danny Thomas, Carl Reiner); the rest is Rose Marie and Morey Amsterdam, Buddy Sorrell and Sally Rogers in all but name, exchanging lame repartee as a bumbling pair of friends to a nubile bookstore owner (the conspicuously untalented January Jones), all of them caught up in labored international intrigue. Amsterdam co-wrote the screenplay and thus has only himself to blame, but he and Rose Marie look distinctly unhappy amid the low-budget surroundings, and the movie's reputation as a legendary stinker is well deserved. Harmon Jones, who actually has a good movie or two to his credit, directs in a grab-the-paycheck-and-run style that's winceworthy.

Writer / Producer Morey Amsterdam attempts to spoof the spy film genre. The style is very similar to "Get Smart", but not nearly as well-written. Most of the jokes fall flat. The endless stream of cameos a la "Mad Mad World" is occasionally amusing, but not enough to save this film.

This was obviously made on the cheap -- most of the action is confined to a bookstore, and there are only about 3 other sets in the entire film.

Morey Amsterdam and Rose Marie were perfect sidekicks on The Dick Van Dyke Show. Their chemistry is one of the reasons that show is such a classic. Unfortunately, they can't carry a film on their own, at least not one as badly written as this. Even their one-liners, of which there are plenty, are pretty lame.

If you think this might be worth a look just for curiosity, especially if you're a Dick Van Dyke Show fan, then do yourself a favor -- skip it.

The (non-)title is a dead giveaway.

This movie is notable for having its cast derived from the old Dick Van Dyke Show. Buddy, Sally, Mel, and Alan, they're all here, only this time they're not funny. We know the actors and actress are good, and their characters are tried and true. All we lack is a script. Don't worry, we'll think up a script after we start shooting.