Agente H.A.R.M.

fail. Yes the hero in this one will get no medal for his work in this one. The movie is trying to be a Bond movie, but when you only have a camera, 25 dollars, and one weekend to shoot...you may want to rethink that idea. The movie is about an agent protecting a scientist and his hot neice. He does this by hanging around their house for the weekend. Meanwhile, the villains including Prince and a bunch of other lugs are developing a biological weapon that turns people into fungus. The hero offs a couple of people once strangling a guy with a coat hanger and the second time by frying a person with a tv and of course he flirts endlessly with this gal who is young enough to be his daughter. He also reports to his boss who seems to be drunk. By the end of the movie our hero finally leaves the one location and then we find out why he so wanted to stay there because he really screws up big time away from it.

Here we have the epic adventures of a super-swinging spy from the '60s, complete with loads of gorgeous women, fantastic gadgets, and awe-inspiring adventure set pieces...

Actually, no we don't.

What we have instead is a painfully low-budget, underwritten, generally icky movie filled with token attempts at the girls, gadgets, and adventures of our pal double-oh-seven, but all falling faaaar short of that goal. Think of it as the movie you and your friends might make one Saturday afternoon if you tried to make a Bond movie with community theater actors and a camcorder. Only without the comedy.

Buh-duh DAH-duuuuuh!

There's not much left to say about this movie...it was bad, the characters were lousy, there were maybe three locations in the whole film, and it was less devoid of action than "The Starfighters". Adam Chance is an old, feeble man. Correction, an old, feeble, CRADLE ROBBING man! He has more skill at taking apart televisions and being repulsive than he does fighting crime. Thank God that we have the FBI and CIA and what not, instead of HARM (Huge Angular Red Marshmallows). I like how the only one who can save the day is the "elderly, wounded scientist" (in Crow's words). One of my absolute favorite lines in the whole movie is, "The combination of the pocket wound and the spaz chop was just too much for the old man." I think either Crow or Tom say it, but it doesn't matter. The only, repeat ONLY! redeeming factor of the movie is that the Russian woman is very attractive. I think it's her hair, she has hair like my girlfriend...who is Russian...hmmmm....maybe I should go buy a Cardigan....or not.

Sorry, but Mark Richman is no Sean Connery. On his best day he might be a Neal Connery (see Operation Double-007). Here he stumbles through this effort to cash in on the 60's superspy bondwagon. His character seems perplexed by the entire plot...and he's not alone. What the heck is going on is anybody's guess. There's action, and bad guys, and a secret device (a manufactured flesh-eating virus: the movie's prophetic despite itself). But it's like watching a slide show. Nothing connects to anything, nothing flows. At the end you find yourself wondering why you wasted 90 minutes.

This is a "must see" movie for nostalgic science fiction fans. Mark Richman and Wendell Cory deliver plenty of action and suspense. Gerd Oswald, the director, is known for his work on the original "OUTER LIMITS". The entire plot is a combination of action, science fiction and horror.