Testa t'ammazzo, croce... sei morto - Mi chiamano Alleluja

Any film with a title as memorable and eye-catching as "Heads You Die, Tails I Kill You" has a lot to live up to. Luckily this one does.... well, for the first half at least.

The story centres around George Hilton's character named "Halleluyah" (thus the films alternative title "They Call Me Hallelujah"). He has been hired by Mexican general Ramirez (Roberto Camardiel) to steal jewels from the army, allegedly to help fund the revolution.

The beginning of the movie is very strong, as Ramirez is led to the firing line by the army, to Ciprani's fantastic score. Some onlookers are already grieving, but proceedings are intervened when Halleluyah appears with his very novel machine gun. Great stuff.

The plot has more twists and turns than, ummmmm, a very twisty turney thing! It is not just Halleluyah searching for the jewels, but a secret agent disguised as a Nun (Agata Flori), the Russian Alexei (Charles Southwood) and a gang of arms dealers led by Fortune (Paulo Gozlino).

Whilst the movie is a real roller-coaster of a ride, it does reach new levels of stupidity with the introduction of Alexei. As I said at the beginning of this write up, the film doesn't disappoint - it just (in my opinion) has one eccentric character too many. This makes the second half just a bit too farcical to me at times.

Most of the best scenes are based around Halleluyah's interaction with the gang - particularly near the beginning where disguised as monks they successfully steal the jewels (and soon face a confrontation with "Brother" Hallelujah). There is also a hilarious scene in which our hero poisons the gang's food, resulting in much belly ache and diarrhoea enforced swift exists! As far as the cast are concerned, Hilton makes a good leading man for the less serious westerns. Regular spaghetti stalwart Federico Boido is also well cast as the weasel like gang member Slocum.

I would definitely recommend this film (despite my reservations about the Russian!). It is a well plotted, good fun view, with enough double crosses and twists to keep you interested and entertained throughout.

How did Mexico get Revolvers before the US Army in the Civil War? Maximillian's reign in Mexico ended just before the Start of the American Civil War. Amazing. The Revolver was Brand new Technology at the Start of the Civil War. However the Acting was Theatrical. First guns were a powder Charge and pellet, the Movie Shows a rapid firing revolver which was not introduced until the early 1870's. In 1847 appeared the First Colt Revolvers used by the Texas Rangers. But it was not a "Fan" firing revolver seen in the Movie. The War against the Comanche's an early version of the Revolver was used but it was hammer-less thus incapable of fan Firing.

Ed The C

This is a splendid comic adventure; it is also a 1971 spaghetti western that coming at the tail end of an era was not much seen.

While the cast is uniformly good, it is the script that excels. Tino Carpi's writing provides good lines for almost everybody, whether it is the lead HALLELUJAH, his aristocratic rival in arms ALEXEI, or the two parties, trying to cheat them, the Mexican bandit revolutionary RAMIREZ or the American spy disguised as a nun (AGATA FLORI); even the ruthless arms dealer KRANTZ who engineer the theft of the jewels that everyone chases after a motley crew that becomes recognizable, because they are given not only names but personalities (eg. Cookie and his comments about outlaws, going back to Utah; Fortune, and so forth).

Uruguay born GEORGE HILTON comes across as a blend of TERENCE HILL; JAMES COBURN, especially when he wears motorcycle goggles in an early sequence, and even HUMPHREY BOGART! The actor credited as CHARLES SOUTHWOOD is an engaging fellow, especially when he does his Cossack schtik.

The music by STELVIO CIPRIANI is almost non-stop and adds to the atmosphere.

This is a film that will remind you of many other spaghetti westerns, even if those were made later than this: I was reminded of the SABATA films; the TRINITY films especially the second that deals with rogue monks and their monastery; other Mexican revolutionary films all the way back to VIVA ZAPATA; VERA CRUZ (Emperor Maximilian again) and COMPANEROS/MERCENARY, plus the two Leone westerns DUCK YOU SUCKER and then MY NAME IS NOBODY with the shaving sequence. And those are some that come off the top of my head.

I watched the video distributed by ACADEMY and could almost believe it was STEREO HIFI as cited on their box, but for the fact that no one was doing that back in 1971. In fact I watched this full frame video on a widescreen TV, in the widescreen mode, and was quite satisfied with the picture quality, confirming the original photography was excellent to begin with.

It remains a western that should be seen, therefore be made more available; how nice it would be to see the film on DVD letter boxed, even if it were only in mono!

This is a film about a gunslinger who owns a machine gun that's also a sewing machine, a nun who is a secret agent like James Bond, and a Russian Prince who does Cossack Kung Fu – Let's see what IMDb commentator Ed the C has to say about it:

QUOTE "How did Mexico get Revolvers before the US Army in the Civil War? Maximillian's reign in Mexico ended just before the Start of the American Civil War. Amazing. The Revolver was Brand new Technology at the Start of the Civil War. First guns were a powder Charge and pellet, the Movie Shows a rapid firing revolver which was not introduced until the early 1870's. In 1847 appeared the First Colt Revolvers used by the Texas Rangers. But it was not a "Fan" firing revolver seen in the Movie. The War against the Comanche's an early version of the Revolver was used but it was hammer-less thus incapable of fan Firing."

Thanks, Ed the C – your last name has three letters missing from it.

This is one of Guiliano Carnimeo's daftest, and therefore most entertaining, Westerns, For his fourth film of 1971, George Hilton plays anti-hero who rescues a Mexican general from execution by using his machine gun/sewing machine combo on the Mexican army. The general then gives him the task of recovering some valuable jewellery, but of course there's a gang of hoodlums after it too (led by the usual corrupt businessman), and a nun who is a secret agent, and an uppity Russian prince who blows up bad guys with a guitar doubling as a rocket launcher.

This film is not about realism, you might get that when George uses a birthday cake with dynamite for candles to blow up the bad guys, or when he puts laxative in their food and they all crap themselves, or when he shoots someone over his shoulder without looking. Or how about when the nun climbs up a telegraph pole and uses a gadget to send a message in morse code?

I don't know how he does it, but Guiliano Carnimeo manages to find the balance between comedy and violence that is painfully lacking in other Westerns about this time. Maybe they just don't go far enough, but Carnimeo packs the film with absolute madness, and then turns the film into an eighties action flick at the end for good measure! I suppose George Hilton helps, with his Latin charm and quips (some of which make no sense) – looks like there was a sequel to this one too!

Oh, good music as well, plus, the cinematography is by future director Stelvio Massi!

By the 1970s, many spaghetti western filmmakers decided after years of making serious spaghetti westerns to start making some that were more comical in nature. "They Call Me Halleluja" (a.k.a. "Heads I Kill You, Tales You're Dead") is one such western, and overall it's a pretty fun exercise. It's goofy fun almost right from the start, with assorted slapstick and various other comic touches (a machine gun sewing machine.) The peppy score by Stelvio Cipriani is the icing on the cake. The movie is not perfect - there are a few moments when it seems that linking footage is missing, and in the second half of the movie, the characters seem to forget about the treasure they had previously been seeking. And the second half also starts to get a little tiresome with its seeming padding. But overall, if you like spaghetti westerns and you are not in a completely serious mood, this movie will do nicely.